Being the mother of two beautiful teenage girls, I feel it is my responsibility to ensure they have a positive body image of themselves, never playing in to what society deems attractive. My girls don\u2019t look like what society claims is beautiful because they are not blonde haired and blue eyed or have scarily huge butts, they are beautiful Black girls who Rock! My daughters are physically different from one another and individually beautiful inside and out and it is their father\u2019s and my responsibility to nurture and build that confidence within them.<\/p>\n
Every time you turn on the tv or flip a page in a magazine or are just surfing the net, you\u2019re bombarded with images of women who appear to be absolutely perfect, having the perfect figure, her make-up and hair are always perfectly done and her facial features make her gorgeous. As adults, we know all the work that goes into making these women look flawless, we know about the airbrushing and photoshopping, the extensive exercise and eating program they are on, and the team of people it takes to get that hair and make-up perfect, we know it\u2019s not reality or how your everyday woman looks.\u00a0 Well, some <\/strong>of us know it\u2019s not the reality of how and what they were born with.\u00a0 There are some grown women who will scrimp and save and even forgo paying bills to save up for a cosmetic procedure, thinking it will make her more desirable or attractive. The reality? If you don\u2019t like what you see with your eyes when you look in the mirror, it\u2019s because you are actually seeing your character and everything that happened to you in the past.\u00a0 You\u2019re not seeing your actual reflection in that mirror, when you look at your face, you\u2019re seeing all the criticisms of others about your appearance, those who weren\u2019t confident enough within themselves to build you up so they broke you down. When you look at your body, you\u2019re seeing what you lack that other women may have to get the attention of men you feel you\u2019re not getting.<\/p>\n Plastic surgery is such a booming business in today\u2019s world, so many people don\u2019t like the way they look, never taking the time to realize and appreciate the fact GOD created them in HIS image as HE saw fit and they are perfect to HIM. Everywhere you look, women are getting butt injections or implants, they\u2019re increasing their bust size, putting fillers in their lips and faces or getting liposuction to remove fat they are too lazy to actually do exercise to burn off. They are forever trying to change and alter their outer appearance, thinking that\u2019s where their displeasure is stemming from. No amount of fat removal or injections in your butt and lips is going to change who you are at your core, that internal work is where you need to start. It doesn\u2019t matter who you are or how you look, there will always be someone prettier\/more handsome, ALWAYS, and that is a fact that will remain until the end of time. And, some of the most attractive people have the ugliest spirits and attitudes towards other human beings, it makes them unattractive on the outside as well.<\/p>\n I know a female who has gone under the knife 3 separate times, almost dying the first time, to alter her body to what she thought would make her attractive or more desirable and she still looks the exact same. She\u2019s spent over $25k on a body she will never be happy with, no matter how much surgery she has to fix this or that. That money could have been spent for her child\u2019s education and a vacation here or there with her child and maybe a couple alone. I\u2019m sorry, it\u2019s just wasteful to me to spend that much money on trying to fix the outside while never taking the time to work on the inside or even actually put in the physical work to tighten up the outside. \u00a0Her insecurities were heightened when she began seeing this guy who\u2019s preference was light skinned females and he gained interest in her even though she was brown skinned. She went out of her way to cater to and alter her personality and put her responsibilities on the back burner so she could always be available to and for him. The reality is this, he is who he is no matter how much surgery she\u2019s had or how available she was at any given moment, if he wanted to be faithful and committed to her, he would have chosen to do so, it\u2019s his <\/strong>choice not her actions, it\u2019s just who he is at his core and has nothing to do with how she nipped and tucked parts of her body.<\/p>\n Growing up and entering puberty as a female is already hard enough, your body is going thru changes, some faster than others and you\u2019re gaining attention of all sorts. If you don\u2019t get boobs or other curves at the same rate as your peers, you feel inadequate and it starts to affect your self-esteem, making you think you aren\u2019t as worthy of the attention as they are getting. On the flip side, those that develop at a more rapid pace are suffering with insecurities as well because they are now getting unwarranted attention from guys who only want them for their curves, not to respect and get to know them as a person. Having personally been the less developed teen in high school, I always envied the girls with the curves, wondering why my butt wasn\u2019t a ba-donk-a-dunk and it bred an insecurity so deep, I didn\u2019t get comfortable with my own body until I was about 40. Even though I had those insecurities, I never thought about altering myself thru surgery, I am who and how GOD made me, never would I mess with HIS idea of perfection.<\/p>\n I have this bad habit of watching reality tv, it\u2019s one of my shameful guilty pleasures, and one of my favorite shows happens to be \u201cBotched\u201d where people have had plastic surgery go wrong and go to these two highly skilled and accredited doctors to repair the \u2018botched\u2019 surgery. I can understand some of the surgeries being necessary, like a tummy tuck given by an ob\/gyn or a breast cancer survivor getting implants and tattooed nipples\/areolas to give them their confidence back. I can\u2019t understand the women who have had multiple boob jobs wanting them even bigger or the \u2018botched\u2019 butt implants. In the latter cases, would the repairs truly have been necessary had they just left their bodies alone in the first place? I have respect for these doctors because they won\u2019t do every surgery, they take the time to talk to the patient and understand and realize some need to seek therapy instead of larger boobs or bigger lips and will tell them \u201cNo\u201d. The unfortunate part is the patients they tell \u201cNo\u201d will go find another doctor who doesn\u2019t follow the same ethical practice as the much more accredited doctors.<\/p>\n This need for a bigger butt and other alterations is actually costing women their lives because they go to the doctors they can afford who aren\u2019t even licensed but give them such a low price, they can\u2019t pass it up. Society and videos make us believe that if we don\u2019t have a ginormous ass we\u2019re nobodies unworthy of the finer things in life and no man will ever want us. \u00a0What a JOKE! There are women who get big ol\u2019 booties and lil chicken legs looking like lollipops living in the hood! On the other side of the coin or torso, you have women who get unnaturally large breasts so big you can see every vein in their chest because the skin is stretched so taut around the implants, showing them off to everyone believing this is what beauty is.<\/p>\n I take my responsibility of raising daughters very seriously and make sure they are confident with their ever changing physiques, never calling them fat or making fun of their development, I tell them how beautiful they are on a regular basis. More importantly, I teach them how to be better people and focus on their character more than their outer appearance because I don\u2019t want to be the parent whose child feels everything they see in the mirror is ugly.<\/p>\n No one is ever going to think you\u2019re attractive if you don\u2019t first love and accept everything about yourself first. Those stretch marks or pudge you have from having\u00a0babies are what make you beautiful, you created and brought forth another human being into this world, what could be more wonderful than that? If you don\u2019t like the amount of weight you\u2019re carrying? Hit the gym or take a daily walk, do the work of yourself for yourself by yourself not with surgery. Embrace your flaws and imperfections, they\u2019re what make you who you are and that\u2019s a Queen with everything to offer!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Being the mother of two beautiful teenage girls, I feel it is my responsibility to ensure they have a positive body image of themselves, never playing in to what society deems attractive. My girls don\u2019t look like what society claims is beautiful because they are not blonde haired and blue eyed or have scarily huge … Continue reading “Why nip and tuck?”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":112,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-111","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-1N","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/plastic-surgery-e1469026492456.jpg?fit=275%2C277&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":115,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions\/115"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/112"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=111"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}