{"id":1164,"date":"2022-05-19T20:02:11","date_gmt":"2022-05-20T00:02:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=1164"},"modified":"2022-05-19T20:02:13","modified_gmt":"2022-05-20T00:02:13","slug":"1164","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2022\/05\/19\/1164\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Hey, my Lovelies! Not too long ago, I spoke on red flags when dating at our age and I\u2019d like to continue that conversation as I seem to have recognize and collect a couple more. Now, when I speak of these dating red flags, I can truly only speak from my perspective as what scrapes my soul may soothe yours and vice versa, I\u2019m just sharing my take on the bullshit covered in perfume others are attempting to serve me. Go grab that spirited beverage, get comfy, and let\u2019s get into it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Will<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Being a mother, whose daughters are the only reason she is still on this earth, I refuse to deal with someone who is a parent but makes no effort in seeing, bonding, or even talking to their offspring. I\u2019m not even going to ask for anyone to help me understand this behavior because, to me, it\u2019s unacceptable. Yes, I get that the other half of their DNA is a total waste of skin but, what\u2019s that got to do with the children? Oh, the other parent is difficult? So what! It is such an oxymoron to say you love your children but haven\u2019t seen them in years. I\u2019ve said it before and will keep repeating it until the dumb asses in the back hear me:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Meryl<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

no child asked to be here, it is your<\/strong> responsibility to do everything in your power to not make them feel like a burden. There was a point and time you were a child who didn\u2019t ask to be here and, yes, you may have an absent parent as well but, how does that make you feel? Having an absent parent in your life growing up made you turn your back on your own seeds because you survived with only one parent? If you have seeds you don\u2019t see, nurture, and pour into, forget my face and existence as I\u2019ve already forgotten yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Next is time and the unwillingness to make it for me. Look, I am not asking for you to be up under me 24\/7 as I fear that would turn into a homicide situation and prison orange is not my color. When I am interested in someone, I want to spend time getting to know them and, I\u2019ll refer to the age-old adage of, you make time for what you want. I understand collectively we are busy taking care of business on professional and personal levels as well as having some alone down time, I\u2019d never interfere with that as I treasure my own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Just<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

To me, if you are not making time to see me, you are not interested and this has now become 1 sided which means, it’s time for me to reclaim my time. It is very unattractive for anyone to feel as though they have to chase you when you clearly showed interest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is so hard about taking someone on an actual date? Yes, I am aware that inflation is kicking our asses right now which is why I wouldn’t suggest breaking the bank on a single date as there are plenty of things to do that don’t cost money. I will also admit that I miss dressing up and going somewhere fancy but also have the understanding it’s not an every date type of situation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Love<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Hell, invite me over or suggest a movie and pizza night at my place so we can just chill and enjoy each other’s company. Well, this type of date would be after I got to know and trust you enough to let you know where I live but is still a good time had by all. If you are not interested in taking the time to date me, you’re not interested in remaining in contact with me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I meet someone and take the opportunity to get to know them, I learn the things they like to do, I pay attention to their interests, hobbies, and ventures. Now, while it\u2019s true I don\u2019t do a lot, I do write, that\u2019s my niche and how I express myself and if a guy isn\u2019t taking an interest in that, I don\u2019t feel he\u2019s truly interested in who I am as a person. I met a guy who is a Star Wars fanatic and I honestly couldn\u2019t bring myself to watch all 90 movies to learn about it because it truly doesn\u2019t interest me, I\u2019m not even going to front on this one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"i'm<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

However, when I saw something related to this franchise, I surprised him with a little gift because that\u2019s what brings him joy and I let him talk about the series because I noticed he lit up at the mere mention of it. I am not asking for input on my writing unless I specifically ask for it, I\u2019m just looking for support by reading my blogs and buying my book when I take the time to write it. It is free to support someone\u2019s interests and means the world to them but is a slap in their face when they\u2019ve supported you and get nothing in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am all about privacy in every aspect of my life and do what I can to ensure it in my relationships as what goes on between me and another person is not everyone\u2019s business. What I am not comfortable or accepting of is being a secret. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Liebe<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Now, some will say they are the same thing but they are vastly different as when you are with someone and you\u2019re both private about what you do, others know you are in a relationship, they just don\u2019t know your business. Whereas you feel hidden or as your Boo is ashamed of you as no one knows you exist, even when you\u2019re in the same room with them. If you can\u2019t let it be known you\u2019re with me then you will not be with me in any facet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Going from communicating on a regular basis to going a week or two without hearing from your person. I will be the first to admit I have a rather jankety sleeping pattern as there will days I fall asleep and am dead to the world at 7 pm and other days I\u2019m wide awake, scrolling social media at 2 am because I just can\u2019t sleep but that doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m ignoring a text or phone call. I am not asking anyone to constantly contact me but a simple Good Morning will do the trick as I didn\u2019t wake up next to you and lets me know you are thinking of me when you wake up. While I\u2019m on communication, let me state I appreciate a phone call from my person on a semi-regular basis instead of nothing but texting. Yes, to those who know me this is a little contradictory as I am not big on talking on the phone all the time but I do enjoy hearing my Boo\u2019s voice instead of just having to get my glasses to read conversations via texts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"10<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Maybe I\u2019m just different but when I\u2019m interested in someone, I enjoy hearing from them on a regular basis and will begin the process of overthinking when I reach out and get crickets in return. If you can\u2019t maintain the same level of communication, please don\u2019t start it with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I understand and have been told numerous times that someone is listening when I speak and, if I\u2019m comfortable with you, I tend to talk a lot. While someone has claimed to have listened, there have been many times I\u2019ve not felt heard by them. As I stated, I can be rather chatty but during that time, I am sharing a lot about what makes me comfortable, what I\u2019m learning are triggers, or even how someone else\u2019s actions (or lack thereof) made me feel. Here\u2019s an example of me feeling heard: we are together in at a function and there are people there who have been less than pleasant to me which will immediately change my entire disposition. Now, if attention was paid during a conversation, he would see the change in me, understand I was uncomfortable and get me out of that situation or just come stand with me to reassure me I’m not alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Just<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

A dude who will just go about his business and party while I\u2019m on the verge of a panic attack isn\u2019t there for me and never really listened to a word I said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I\u2019ve stated before, the dating pool at this stage of life is shallow as ant pee and has a bit of poo in it, this shit is not fun nor is it easy and it\u2019s taking everything in me not to fully embrace the spinster title at this point. Yes, there are good people out there, I would never deny that as I feel I am one of them but that also comes with the understanding that everyone has some shit with them. I am not perfect and am not seeking perfection in a mate, I am merely seeking someone who enjoys being around and with me, is a decent and respectful human being, and doesn’t judge me for my idiosyncrasies. If I meet someone with those qualities, we can be goofy together, and it turns into forever, great but I’m not forcing anything, just letting it flow naturally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"GIF<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Keep your eyes peeled and don\u2019t ignore the obvious red flags being waved in your face, you have too much to offer another person to settle for mediocrity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
\"toodles<\/figure><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hey, my Lovelies! Not too long ago, I spoke on red flags when dating at our age and I\u2019d like to continue that conversation as I seem to have recognize and collect a couple more. Now, when I speak of these dating red flags, I can truly only speak from my perspective as what scrapes … Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1168,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1164","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s7va7x-1164","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Red-flag-e1653004550926.jpg?fit=275%2C136&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1164","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1164"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1164\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1173,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1164\/revisions\/1173"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1164"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1164"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1164"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}