{"id":16,"date":"2016-05-02T10:12:55","date_gmt":"2016-05-02T14:12:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=16"},"modified":"2016-05-02T10:12:55","modified_gmt":"2016-05-02T14:12:55","slug":"getting-comfortable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2016\/05\/02\/getting-comfortable\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting Comfortable"},"content":{"rendered":"

The one thing I remember my parents drilling into my head when I was growing up was \u201cWhatever you did to get him, you have to continue to do to keep him\u201d<\/strong> and that merely means you have to continue to woo, court and date your partner, put forth that effort. \u00a0A commitment made doesn\u2019t mean you stop, that\u2019s giving up and showing that they are no longer worth your effort.<\/p>\n

Ladies, just as we like to be wooed, so do men.\u00a0 They actually like to receive a card in the mail at their job just to let them know you are thinking of them or getting Shari\u2019s Berries because it\u2019s Tuesday or he\u2019s been having a rough few days at work.\u00a0 Think of the things that your man does for you that make you smile and how it makes you feel, don\u2019t you want him to feel the same?\u00a0 Everyone likes to feel desired, appreciated and wanted when they are in a relationship and the small things will keep that spark lit.<\/p>\n

Remember in the beginning?\u00a0 You would plan your outfit, thinking of which cute dress and heels you were going to wear that showed off your best assets, making sure your shoes didn\u2019t make you walk like a newborn calf, kept your hair, nails and toes done because you had a new Boo?\u00a0 You thought about your outfit and appearance all the time because you didn\u2019t want to let him know you had some rough days, those days don\u2019t exist in the beginning. \u00a0While I am not a vain person, I have always been one to take pride in my appearance, I keep myself up for me, first and foremost, when you\u2019re doing it to appease someone else, you\u2019ll see it as a chore and will soon resent having to do it.\u00a0 Although there are times I just have veg days and walk around the house looking like absolute hell, avoiding mirrors at all costs, I\u2019m usually home alone, these days are very necessary and needed. There is no way I would ever leave my house with rollers in my hair or a bonnet on my head dressed in a bathrobe or raggedy sweatpants and a t-shirt.<\/p>\n

When you get in relationship, after a couple\/few years, you get \u201ccomfortable\u201d, you go from sleeping in cute sexy night clothes to getting into bed in old sweat pants or ratty flannel, walking around the house with eye boogers, your hair in rollers, nail polish is always chipped and barely talking to him, what happened?!\u00a0 Well, you got comfortable and feel he should accept you for who and how you are, that\u2019s what love is all about, right?\u00a0 Eh, in a sense, yes, it is, we are supposed to accept and love people for who they are because that\u2019s what we desire as well. The thing is this, who and how you have become a couple years in is not who he dated. \u00a0Don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m not saying that you have to wear a full face of make up all day every day and wear the skimpiest lingerie to bed every night, that\u2019s doesn\u2019t work for anyone, it isn\u2019t a reality of any sort.\u00a0 Just because you feel you\u2019ve now got them doesn\u2019t mean you no longer have to try, once you give up trying to look good or even date your partner, you are opening the door for a wandering eye, a gentle flirtation, an intimate conversation with someone else.\u00a0 Ceasing to put forth that effort dims the spark and invites in outsiders who mean your relationship no good.<\/p>\n

Last year, Boris Kodjoe made a comment that enraged a lot of women:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if I gained 200 pounds? And then she\u2019ll look at me like, really? And I couldn\u2019t even blame her if she started looking around.\u00a0 Because I took her off the market, so I have to deliver what the market could possibly deliver for her.\u00a0 So, I gotta take that place. Right? So, I gotta fulfill those things that the market could\u2019ve given her.\u00a0 I\u2019m the market now, so I got to keep it Hot and she has to do the same for me<\/em>\u201d.<\/p>\n

Personally, I don\u2019t see anything wrong with that statement. \u00a0Ladies, I understand our bodies go thru changes over time, I totally get it, childbirth, diet, stress and working can all cause weight gain but is no excuse to let yourself go and expect him to accept an excessive weight gain or lackadaisical attitude towards your appearance.\u00a0 If you married a man who was lean and cut and 2 years into the relationship, he gained 75 lbs, stopped working out, walked around with a gut and man boobs, would you find that sexy? Understand this, getting comfortable has nothing to do with letting him see you at your worst all the time, it has to do with allowing him see what\u2019s inside of you, those places that you have kept hidden and protected, never sharing with anyone else.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The one thing I remember my parents drilling into my head when I was growing up was \u201cWhatever you did to get him, you have to continue to do to keep him\u201d and that merely means you have to continue to woo, court and date your partner, put forth that effort. \u00a0A commitment made doesn\u2019t … Continue reading “Getting Comfortable”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":17,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","post_format-post-format-image"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-g","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Comfortable.jpg?fit=599%2C315&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16\/revisions\/18"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}