{"id":1615,"date":"2024-01-01T19:23:47","date_gmt":"2024-01-02T00:23:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=1615"},"modified":"2024-06-06T11:59:16","modified_gmt":"2024-06-06T15:59:16","slug":"chapter-2023-has-come-to-an-end","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2024\/01\/01\/chapter-2023-has-come-to-an-end\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 2023 has come to an end"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Hey, hey, my Lovelies!! Well, well, would you look here?<\/p>\n\n\n

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We\u2019ve survived another year! Last year, for me, was a lil different because I feel as though so very much happened but, at the same time, not much truly did. I have been very transparent about my healing journey which I finally took seriously and brought you along for the sometimes bumpy ride. My family has experienced a few losses which has taught me that everyone handles death\/loss and grieving differently.  For the first time in about 4 years, I was able to share the 2 biggest holidays of the year with both of my daughters, one of which turned out to be an absolute dumpster fire and, by the grace of GOD, the other was a lot smoother. I have come to learn a lot about myself as well as those around me and those visuals haven\u2019t always been the prettiest but truly necessary. If you\u2019ve been here for a while, you know I don\u2019t do New Year\u2019s resolutions because I am a little stubborn and don’t like being told what to do even if I made the list so, get comfy while I recap my year!<\/p>\n\n\n

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In the year of 2023, I finally grasped and embraced the setting of and sticking to boundaries and now stand 10 toes deep on them which doesn\u2019t always please those who made setting them necessary but that is no longer my concern because my primary focus is protecting my mental health at all costs. I have also learned and stuck to \u201cNo<\/em>\u201d being a complete sentence and no longer explain why I don\u2019t want to do something, I just don\u2019t and that\u2019s enough for me and will have to be enough for everyone else. I\u2019m not even going to lie, in the beginning I wasn\u2019t able to stand on my No<\/em> or any of my boundaries because it felt mean and that\u2019s not who I wanted to be but thru healing, I now understand that it\u2019s not being mean, it\u2019s standing up for and protecting myself. The main thing I learned about boundaries is that it\u2019s not someone else\u2019s responsibility to respect them, it\u2019s up to me to enforce them. <\/p>\n\n\n

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Think about it this way, if they were respecting you properly, would you even need to set a boundary? Setting and sticking to a boundary looks like this: if you tell everyone that you don\u2019t respond to text or phone calls after 9 pm and someone calls you at 9:03 pm and you answer, you\u2019ve violated your boundary, not them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The losses my family has experienced this year may not have been blood related but they were definitely love related and hurt just the same. There was a loss of someone who, for one reason or another, didn\u2019t like me and quite often went out of her way to show just how much she loathed me. Please don\u2019t get it twisted, the feeling was extremely mutual but when she passed, I still wanted to pay my respects for the loss of life. I was questioned many times over why I would want to attend the funeral of someone I couldn\u2019t stand and I simply said, \u201cIt\u2019s not about how I felt about her, she was someone\u2019s mother, wife, daughter, sister, grandmother, etc. She meant something to many people and I\u2019d like to pay my respects for her life<\/em>\u201d. This is a situation where it\u2019s not about someone else\u2019s understanding of why I feel the way I do; it\u2019s about doing what I feel is right and proper within my soul. Paying respect to those who pass is how I was raised and I will never disrespect those who instilled this in me and not show up. I can’t promise to shed a tear but I will be present to pay respect for the loss of life.<\/p>\n\n\n

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Some may know and others may not but I love to bake, it soothes my soul to see others enjoying something I created. I also am of the mindset that if I can\u2019t unbig my back, I\u2019m bigging everyone else\u2019s. This year, I was given the opportunity to expand my baking abilities as I was challenged to create vegan and gluten-free desserts without being able to tell they were missing any key ingredients. I am no stranger to altering desserts as I was married to a diabetic who loved sweets and I wasn\u2019t about to have him slipping into a coma over some banana pudding so I learned how to make various desserts with a sugar substitute without the aftertaste. <\/p>\n\n\n

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Anyone who knows me also knows I don\u2019t back down from a challenge, it actually makes me work harder to be better and I did just that. I won\u2019t lie, my first vegan cake wasn\u2019t the prettiest but dammit was it moist and delicious! I\u2019d gotten away from baking cakes as COVID exposed how gross people can be so I focused on cupcakes so anyone could just take one and go about their business without breathing on, improperly cutting, or touching a whole dessert. I have also prided myself on my buttercream icing which has become such a hit that I did my very first paid baking gig! My Nana would be so proud as she was a baker and that\u2019s where my love of it stems from.<\/p>\n\n\n

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When I began this journey of self-love and healing, I thought I had to totally do away with my inner Regina George by always being the bigger and more understanding person but trying to stifle my DNA only stagnated my healing. I learned that me being the bigger person in every situation wasn\u2019t healthy as those around me just continued to disrespect and hurt me so, the Mean Girl who had been subdued for way too long was finally able to come to the forefront and handle shit accordingly. Embracing her doesn\u2019t necessarily mean it\u2019s how I handle every situation; it simply means she is always on standby to take care of business and no longer allow myself to be a doormat.<\/p>\n\n\n

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In 2023, I learned that I\u2019ve been lied to for the majority of my life and this one hit hard<\/strong>. If there is one thing I truly hate, it\u2019s a liar as I would rather you hurt me with the truth than disrespect me with a lie. Many don\u2019t understand how one lie can snowball and affect every moment moving forward because everything done in the dark comes to light, you can\u2019t do dirt and think you\u2019ll remain clean. <\/p>\n\n\n

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When you lie to someone, you\u2019re basically saying they\u2019re too stupid to know the truth and I\u2019m far from stupid. My Daddy made sure I understood how shit worked but he also taught me to give them the rope but never tie the noose as they will hang themselves on their own. Trying to maneuver thru life knowing what I know and absorbing what I am continuing to learn about the situation will take a lot of healing to move beyond. The healed part of me wants to confront this person with everything I know to be facts but the little girl inside is terrified of the confrontation and aftermath it will cause so, for now I wait for them to stand on the podium and grasp the rope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In 2023, I fully embraced being free of human disappointment and absolutely refused to let someone\u2019s dusty ass son disturb my peace. I was chastised for being so quick to dismiss someone for what was viewed as a minor infraction but at Fifty-Onederful I don\u2019t have time or patience to overlook the foolishness and ignorance of grown ass males, I will not explain to a grown ass adult what they did wrong, they already know. I am repeatedly asked if I am dating or have a Boo and my answer isn\u2019t changing anytime soon because I matter more right now. Do I want companionship? Sure, who doesn\u2019t? But I\u2019m not willing to put up with the unnecessary bullshit to have someone to cuddle with, that’s not a fair trade to me anymore. I have put up with way too much from those who either aren\u2019t capable of loving me as I deserve or simply didn\u2019t know how to handle the authenticity of my love and it\u2019s their loss, not mine because I am a Queen worthy of everything who won’t settle for anything less than I deserve.<\/p>\n\n\n

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I\u2019ve not been as present here with my blogs as I should be and truly slacked on any other writing project but in this year of 2024 that\u2019s all changing as I have a lot to say and can do it better thru written word. My challenge to myself is to write at least 2 of the books I have in my mind to completion and publish them as I wasn\u2019t given this gift for no reason and it\u2019s time to shine as my ancestors\u2019 wildest dream come true.<\/p>\n\n\n

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I am wishing you all the happiest, most prosperous, and peaceful year you\u2019ve ever been blessed to experience. With the losses we experienced in 2023, it makes Tomorrow isn\u2019t promised<\/em> hit that much harder. This year, take a chance on the experiences which make your heart flutter with fear and anxiety as those are the ones worth taking. Be great my loves!<\/p>\n\n\n

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Hey, hey, my Lovelies!! Well, well, would you look here? We\u2019ve survived another year! Last year, for me, was a lil different because I feel as though so very much happened but, at the same time, not much truly did. I have been very transparent about my healing journey which I finally took seriously and … Continue reading “Chapter 2023 has come to an end”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1633,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-q3","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Life-is-like-a-book-quote-e1704154851329.jpg?fit=263%2C269&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1615","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1615"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1615\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1653,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1615\/revisions\/1653"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1633"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1615"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1615"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1615"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}