{"id":208,"date":"2017-01-13T20:07:28","date_gmt":"2017-01-14T01:07:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=208"},"modified":"2017-01-13T20:07:28","modified_gmt":"2017-01-14T01:07:28","slug":"peanut-butter-is-chunky-not-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2017\/01\/13\/peanut-butter-is-chunky-not-people\/","title":{"rendered":"Peanut Butter is Chunky, Not People"},"content":{"rendered":"

At some point in every person\u2019s life, they\u2019ve dealt with some sort of body image issue. Maybe you felt you were too short or too tall *I\u2019ve been there*. Maybe you felt as though you were too light skinned or dark skinned *been here too*. Maybe you have a birth mark which is very prominent, causing you to be self-conscious. \"ImageThe most common body image issue we all share is our weight and physique, some may be heavier while others are thinner and most never seem to be happy with their bodies.\u00a0The saddest part about having body image issues? They\u2019re not an inside job, someone on the outside took much time and effort to try to break your spirit by shaking your confidence in yourself. Being a tall, light skinned female who was relatively thin until having my daughters, I seemed to be some sort of target for those who looked different than I did. Today, I am confident in my appearance and anyone who doesn\u2019t like it doesn\u2019t have to look at me. It took me a long time to reach this level and I proudly and confidently fight daily to stay here and maintain it. \"ImageThose who are so insecure within themselves believe picking out made-up flaws of another will somehow make them seem more attractive to those around them. The reality? If you\u2019re a cruddy person inside, it doesn\u2019t matter how much make-up, name brand clothes and weave you wear, it\u2019s your soul and character which are dirty and nothing but a change in attitude will beautify such.<\/p>\n

Now, here\u2019s even more reality, most of our body image issues stem from a male who doesn\u2019t have their own physique in tip top shape but will point out every imperfection he can find on your body. At this stage in my life, that is actually laughable to me and will be displayed as such. That whole \u2018being broken down about my physique by a man who looks about 7 months pregnant\u2019 crap? Yeah, been there, done that and never returning! I am in no way stating I am perfect but I love me and my body. This body has created and brought forth life twice and I take pretty good care of it, it\u2019s the only one I\u2019m gonna get. You can\u2019t break someone who grows humans within their body.<\/p>\n

\"ImageSo, when I was told I was, not appeared, chunky <\/strong>in a 2 year old picture, the old me pushed her way to the forefront and kirked out a little bit.\"Image Am I proud of how I responded? Am I proud I let someone get under my skin so much I stepped outside of who I\u2019ve become? Hell no! HOWEVER, their lack of concern for my feelings and their ignorance needed to be called out and the old me did just that.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what truly gets my goat: men search for absolute perfection in a mate, she must be a certain size, her breasts must be perky, no cellulite whatsoever, and cud LAWD don\u2019t have stretch marks because that will truly send them running! All the while, he\u2019s sitting there looking 16 months pregnant with stretch marks himself, a farmer\u2019s tan which causes his torso to look like a piece of notebook paper while his arms and face are golden, twig sized legs which make you wonder how they have yet to snap under the pressure of the weight of his belly and ego, crusty, nasty ass toes, scruffy facial hair, and usually in need of a haircut. \"ImageSee? We can pick men apart just as they do us but we seem to be so worried about appearing attractive and desirable to someone who doesn\u2019t have their shit halfway together we stay silent.<\/p>\n

Some of us care too much to make another person feel as they\u2019ve made us feel so, we say nothing in return when we\u2019re picked apart. \u00a0Due to having been made to feel less than because of how I look, I don\u2019t have the heart to hurt someone in the same manner. However, if you come for me when I haven\u2019t sent for you, you are actually asking <\/strong>me to tell you about yourself. \"ImageWhat I find absolutely comical about turning the tables on a verbal bully is that, if you look hard enough? You might actually be able to see that lone tear welling up in their eye because they can\u2019t take it. \"ImageAnd, yes, anyone who body shames you is verbally abusing you and you do not have to take it, you are beautiful the way GOD created you and don\u2019t let an insecure, scruffy, pregnant man ever make you feel differently.<\/p>\n

I guess this whole thing bothers me so much because I\u2019ve never put another human being down to make myself seem or feel better. I live by the old adage of \u201cIf you don\u2019t have anything nice to say, don\u2019t say anything at all<\/em>\u201d. And even still, living by that, I will find something<\/strong> to compliment another person on because we all need as much positivity as we can get to defeat the negativity constantly spewed at us. No one, not even your parents who gave you life, has the right to make you feel bad about yourself. It\u2019s easy to say \u201cDon\u2019t mind them\u201d or \u201cThey\u2019re just jealous because they want to look like you\u201d but it\u2019s hard to believe it when you\u2019re the one hearing \u201cYou\u2019re chunky\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re pale\u201d \u201cYour butt is flat\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re too dark to wear this or that\u201d. \u00a0While I may be able to ignore such ignorance, I\u2019m raising teenage daughters whose skin has yet to get as thick as mine and do whatever I can to instill positivity in them to defeat the negative comments others tell them about themselves.<\/p>\n

\"Image<\/p>\n

We all have our preferences of what we do and don\u2019t like on a potential mate. Me? Personally, I like my man to have front teeth but there are those who like to slip their tongue thru it, maybe it’s erotic or something, I don’t know. \u00a0\"ImageEven though there are features on some I may not find attractive, there are those who are searching for them. And while it’s not my cup of tea, I would never make someone feel bad about it because it\u2019s not my place to try to destroy someone else\u2019s self-esteem and image of themselves. As long as you are happy with yourself, who am I or anyone else to make you feel as though it\u2019s not cute, attractive, appealing, sexy or even okay? Exactly, no one, that’s who. The only person you need to worry about being happy with your appearance is the one looking back at you in the mirror, make her proud and flaunt all of you!\u00a0\"Image<\/p>\n

There are times when one\u2019s weight may cause health issues and that is when it becomes a concern of mine because at that point, you\u2019re risking your life for food and your life is way more valuable than some dessert or pasta. Anyone who knows me knows I don\u2019t do the gym and sweating thing, just not who I am anymore but if I have a friend who is trying to get in shape, I will go with them to keep them company and motivate them. Sometimes, we just need that one person in our corner to push us and make us believe in ourselves again and I\u2019m that friend to the end.<\/p>\n

\"Image<\/p>\n

The next time you feel the urge to say something negative or derogatory about another person\u2019s physique or appearance, think about how it would feel if it were your flaws being pointed out and put on display by someone you cared about. It\u2019s all about common sense, people! It boggles my mind that so few people have an adequate amount of couth and consideration when it comes to speaking to another person. You may think you\u2019re being cute and funny by making someone else look bad but the reality is you\u2019re the one who is seen as you truly are: ignorant, rude and mean.\"Image<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

At some point in every person\u2019s life, they\u2019ve dealt with some sort of body image issue. Maybe you felt you were too short or too tall *I\u2019ve been there*. Maybe you felt as though you were too light skinned or dark skinned *been here too*. Maybe you have a birth mark which is very prominent, … Continue reading “Peanut Butter is Chunky, Not People”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":210,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-208","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-3m","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/peanut-butter-e1484355452327.jpg?fit=250%2C188&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/208","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=208"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/208\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":212,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/208\/revisions\/212"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/210"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=208"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=208"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=208"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}