{"id":31,"date":"2016-05-03T15:02:08","date_gmt":"2016-05-03T19:02:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=31"},"modified":"2016-05-03T15:02:08","modified_gmt":"2016-05-03T19:02:08","slug":"why-you-mad-tho","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2016\/05\/03\/why-you-mad-tho\/","title":{"rendered":"Why you mad tho?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Welp, it\u2019s over, he\u2019s not going to be your forever, for one reason or another, it just didn\u2019t work.\u00a0 What\u2019s your next move? \u00a0Your first instinct may be to \u201cbust the windows out his car\u201d, scratch the paint, burn his clothes on the front lawn, bad mouth him on social media or even go to his job and cuss him out in front of his peers and co-workers.\u00a0 Getting locked up, having charges and a restraining order filed against you which will, in turn, cause you financial issues due to your newly acquired record, and ruining your reputation by coming out of character is not the way to start the healing process from heart break.\u00a0 So, put \u201cHot Sauce\u201d away, put on some comfy clothes, get some junk food, turn on Netflix, get comfy on the couch and let it out.\u00a0 It\u2019s normal and necessary to cry, Babes, you need to release that pain, it is a loss, start grieving, just don\u2019t unpack and stay there. \u00a0The tears come from the disappointment you may feel from the fact you thought this was going to be \u201cthe one<\/em>\u201d or your \u201chappily ever after<\/em>\u201d and now? BAM! \u00a0You\u2019re single again.<\/p>\n

Break ups happen, some hurt more than others because there may have been some form of cheating or abuse by someone you trusted with every essence of your being. This could be in the form of emotional or physical, both hurt and cut deeply causing damage to your self-esteem and ego, having you feeling as though you aren\u2019t good enough.\u00a0 Although we carry these scars for the rest of our lives, we always have the option of whether we will become bitter or grow and be better. #choices<\/em><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s my question to you: Why you mad tho? \u00a0Yes, you\u2019re hurting, feeling betrayed, trust is broken and faith in people is shook, promises weren\u2019t lived up to, your weaknesses were used against you, they weren\u2019t who you thought they were.\u00a0 I can relate to the feeling of wanting to throat punch them for making you cry and breaking your heart, it\u2019s a knee jerk reaction, we want to inflict pain on those who hurt us, it\u2019s completely normal.\u00a0 Having these feelings of hate, animosity and even violence are somewhat normal in the beginning!<\/strong>\u00a0 When you begin to carry these feelings of hate and wanting to make this person\u2019s life miserable months and years out? That\u2019s far from normal and causing you to carry around unnecessary negativity, pain, anger and resentment.<\/p>\n

How can you lead a normal life and find some semblance of happiness if you are still mad a relationship didn\u2019t work out 10 months ago? Do you think he\u2019s affected by you calling him all types of names to your friends?\u00a0 Do you think he lays awake at night feeling your pain? It doesn\u2019t matter if he\u2019s hurting or not, his pain is not going to take yours away, it is yours to deal with and heal from. Yes, you loved him and he hurt you. Many nights have been spent crying yourself to sleep, over analyzing what went\u00a0wrong, not realizing, even if\u00a0things been handled differently, it’s the past and\u00a0he still wouldn\u2019t be there.\u00a0 Sorry to break it to you, no matter what you did or how things could have been done differently, they weren\u2019t and he wasn\u2019t the one and not meant to be your forever.\u00a0 So, I\u2019ll ask again, why you mad tho?<\/p>\n

Too many times, people go to extremes with their hurt, which has now turned in to anger and rage, and cause damage that can\u2019t be reversed or undone.\u00a0 So, you and your child\u2019s father didn\u2019t work out and he has moved on, why do the children need to be affected and made to feel they have to hate that parent as well? The fact the 2 of you didn\u2019t work out as a couple means now you work that much harder as parents and doing what\u2019s best for the child who didn\u2019t ask to be here. No child should be made to suffer because you\u2019re in your feelings, the issues between 2 adults is the reason the relationship is history.\u00a0 There are so many parents who want and try to be involved in their child\u2019s life but the other parent is still hurting, angry, and bitter and uses the child as a pawn to make that other person hurt.\u00a0 Who\u2019s the one who suffers the most? Yes, the child and for what? Because your ex didn\u2019t turn out to be the person you thought they were?\u00a0 Yeah, that\u2019s fair\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026seriously, why you mad tho?<\/p>\n

Another, yet common, extreme reaction to a break up is sleeping with multiple people thinking it will do 1 of 3\u00a0things: help you heal faster, \u201cTo get over someone, get under someone else<\/em>\u201d, believe he will learn of it and hurt because you are sharing yourself with other guys, making him feel insignificant or have him begging you to take him back.\u00a0 NEWSFLASH! \u00a0None of these will work at all.\u00a0 There will be no healing if you don\u2019t take the time to deal with the pain of the loss, it will still be there no matter how many people you\u2019ve been with, it doesn\u2019t go away until you\u2019ve acknowledged it, grieved and put yourself back together better than before you even met them.\u00a0 Going on dates will boost your ego temporarily because you feel desired and are getting attention from a man for a few hours on a date but when he\u2019s not there, here come the tears of the pain you\u2019ve tried to suppress and deny. Your heart will still hurt and yearn for your ex.<\/p>\n

Why are you mad?\u00a0 You\u2019re mad because you didn\u2019t get an apology from someone who hurt you or there was no closure, it just ended or because you feel foolish for believing they would change and be better for you.\u00a0 Sometimes, you just have to accept the fact you will never receive that apology and move on with your life.\u00a0 Staying stuck in this moment of pain and questions of \u201cwhy\u201d will only make you a miserable person, never seeing the wonderful things life, this world and other people have to offer you.<\/p>\n

Life is about choices, every choice you make creates your Karma, good or bad.\u00a0 If you choose to be bitter and destructive, that\u2019s all you will encounter but if you choose to see the positive in all people, things and situations, your life will be abundantly rich with goodness and happy feelings. \u00a0So, put on your big girl panties and choose to learn and grow from this experience, if you don\u2019t, you\u2019ll stay stuck and miss out on \u201cthe one<\/em>\u201d who will be your \u201dhappily ever after<\/em>\u201d, you deserve it, we all do!<\/p>\n

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Welp, it\u2019s over, he\u2019s not going to be your forever, for one reason or another, it just didn\u2019t work.\u00a0 What\u2019s your next move? \u00a0Your first instinct may be to \u201cbust the windows out his car\u201d, scratch the paint, burn his clothes on the front lawn, bad mouth him on social media or even go to … Continue reading “Why you mad tho?”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":32,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-v","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/why-you-mad-janet.jpg?fit=241%2C156&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31\/revisions\/34"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/32"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}