{"id":319,"date":"2017-05-09T13:35:55","date_gmt":"2017-05-09T17:35:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=319"},"modified":"2017-05-09T13:35:55","modified_gmt":"2017-05-09T17:35:55","slug":"theres-strength-in-consistency","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2017\/05\/09\/theres-strength-in-consistency\/","title":{"rendered":"There&#8217;s Strength in Consistency"},"content":{"rendered":"<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-319-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/05-Bitter.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/05-Bitter.mp3\">https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/05-Bitter.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>I was scrolling thru my news feed and came across something posted by a friend which summed up exactly how I feel about consistency in relationships:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>It\u2019s consistency in the little things that matters most&#8230;<\/em><em><br \/>\n\u201cShe didn\u2019t fall in love with you because you remembered her birthday and brought her flowers on Valentine\u2019s Day. She fell in love with you, because when you woke up in the morning, you said, \u2018Good morning\u2019 to her before you checked your phone. She fell in love with you, because when you went to the fridge to get yourself a drink, you got her one without even\u00a0<\/em><em>asking. She fell in love with you, because when you had an\u00a0amazing day at work and she came home and she had a terrible day at work, you didn\u2019t say, \u2018Yeah, yeah, yeah. But let me tell you about my day.\u2019 You sat and listened to her awful day and you didn\u2019t say a thing about your amazing day. This is why she fell in love with you. I can\u2019t tell you exactly what day. It was no particular thing you did. It was the accumulation of all of those little things that she woke up one day as if she pressed a button, she goes, \u2018I love him.\u2019 The same with the relationships, it\u2019s not about the events, it\u2019s not about intensity, it\u2019s about consistency.\u201d&#8230;Simon Sinek<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The reality is, we don\u2019t fall in love with another\u2019s money, cars or house, hell, even sex isn\u2019t going to make you fall in love with another person. You may feel as though you\u2019re in love because he had you reaching for things which weren\u2019t there as you screamed the Lord\u2019s name in passion but that\u2019s not love, Boo Boo, that\u2019s lust. <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/media.giphy.com\/media\/3pYn2IRsg39tK\/giphy.gif?resize=399%2C170&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Image result for passion gif\" width=\"399\" height=\"170\" \/>Too many times, we forget it\u2019s the little things which create the spark and when done on a consistent basis, that spark will grow into a roaring fire of love and passion. Consistency goes hand in hand with keeping your word; if you say you\u2019re going to call back, do just that, even if you don\u2019t have time to have a long conversation, keep your word. My father taught me a very long time ago, \u201c<em>Your word is all you have in this world<\/em>\u201d. It took me a while to fully understand it but I\u2019m grateful I had someone teach me this lesson. I\u2019ve witnessed it too many times where someone\u2019s word isn\u2019t kept and they lose credibility with me and others. How can I trust anything you tell me if you\u2019ve not kept your word in the past?<\/p>\n<p>When you are with someone or even just getting to know them, you spoil them with the little things such as: Good Morning\/Night texts each and every day, calling back when you say you\u2019re going to, showing up when you say you\u2019re going to be there.<img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/media.tenor.co\/images\/c55ddd22850ae96e48a69d25cb87eceb\/tenor.gif?w=840&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Image result for receiving a text gif\" \/> Buying someone expensive gifts isn\u2019t truly spoiling them unless you\u2019re there for them as a shoulder to cry on when they\u2019ve had a bad day or make it your mission to keep a smile on their face by being present in all aspects of the word. I know I\u2019m not alone when I say I don\u2019t let anyone in because I\u2019ve been hurt by those who have promised to never hurt me and always be there for me in a capacity which no one before them has been. It\u2019s the little things which get and keep my attention such as thinking of me when you\u2019re at a party full of fun and laughter and calling me to say I\u2019m on your mind or bringing me ice cream when I\u2019m sad. <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/media.giphy.com\/media\/duJTA3c0YiAbm\/giphy.gif?resize=351%2C263&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Image result for eating ice cream gif\" width=\"351\" height=\"263\" \/>Don\u2019t get me wrong, diamonds and purses will bring a smile to my face but holding me when I\u2019m crying or sad brings a smile to and soothes my heart.<\/p>\n<p>I have been called spoiled a few times in my life yet never thought I was because I didn\u2019t have someone lavishing me with gifts but I then realized I am spoiled when it comes to attention. The quickest way to see the 5 year old brat in me come out is to slack off the things you\u2019ve gotten me accustomed to. If you start off texting me every morning and night and then stop, I will get in my feelings and pout as though someone just stole my bike! <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/prettyuglylittleliar.net\/uploads\/monthly_2016_01\/tumblr_inline_naw6pvHO6r1rmuf1h.gif.00b045582e221a99acd377a72d972f2d.gif?w=840&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Image result for child throwing a tantrum gif\" \/>If you have no intentions of following thru with an action you initiated for an indefinite period of time, don\u2019t start it, don\u2019t get someone used to being spoiled by your attention and then take it away, that\u2019s just cruel.<\/p>\n<p>As a society, we all have to do and be better, this isn\u2019t just geared towards men, women become slackers too once they feel they\u2019ve \u2018got him\u201d. If you pampered and cooked for him in the beginning, don\u2019t ignore him and his needs and then bring home carry out just because you now share a bed every night. Is he not worthy of the consistency of your initial actions? <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/media.giphy.com\/media\/JTUYJfoZDkZqg\/source.gif?resize=389%2C214&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Image result for woman cooking gif\" width=\"389\" height=\"214\" \/>Some women don\u2019t show consistency because they aren\u2019t concerned about anyone but themselves and only care about what a guy will do for her. I think I can speak for both genders when I say we all want someone who looks out for us and our well-being, no one wants to be with a selfish person who only cares about what we can do for them. This falls under the age old adage: <em>Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.<\/em> You like flowers and candy, right? Well, guess what, so do guys but they\u2019ll never ask for it out of fear of seeming like a punk. This is when you do it from your heart because you want to bring a smile to his face and heart.<img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/media.tumblr.com\/tumblr_m7ks67DTcc1rt3fn2.gif?resize=413%2C204\" alt=\"Image result for man in love gif\" width=\"413\" height=\"204\" \/><\/p>\n<p>When you are consistent with how you treat someone and then just stop for no known reason, this is how broken hearts and humans are created. If you read the Bible every day or meditate every day, you\u2019re doing so to nourish your spirit and soul. <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/37.media.tumblr.com\/df5689df5985e753b1dbcff8f9544489\/tumblr_n6m0p59dHl1rexx6oo1_500.gif?resize=329%2C185\" alt=\"Image result for meditating gif\" width=\"329\" height=\"185\" \/>The same practice needs to be followed when you\u2019re nourishing the love someone is willing to share with you. You\u2019re used to eating every day, right? If your food supply ceased to exist one day out of the blue and there was no sign of ever eating again, you\u2019d shrivel up and die. Well, that\u2019s what happens when you\u2019re not consistent with your actions and love when it comes to another person; it withers and dies a slow and painful death. Never underestimate the power of consistency.<img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/66.media.tumblr.com\/70819dbc81b45b4d0241a7307fe57279\/tumblr_niltg28UEI1r2fkm5o1_500.gif?resize=335%2C139\" alt=\"Image result for turning to dust gif\" width=\"335\" height=\"139\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve learned a reason guys tend to slack off and become inconsistent with the actions they started is because they feel as though they aren\u2019t getting the same in return. Here\u2019s the thing about that, if that\u2019s what causes you to stop reaching out, you were never doing it out of genuineness, you were doing it out of reciprocity. When you care about someone, you do for them from your heart, you don\u2019t keep tabs and play tit for tat, there is no score card on pure kindness. If you know that you called me 9 times and I only called you 3, why are you calling me in the first place? <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/media.tenor.co\/images\/3d0bd39f8d639487cdcb31a99e25a0dd\/tenor.gif?w=840&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Image result for counting gif\" \/>This is not a game where score is kept, there\u2019s no running tally, this is my heart, emotions and feelings, there\u2019s no price on those and they\u2019re not to be played with.<\/p>\n<p>Society has tainted us so much that we don\u2019t recognize or appreciate when someone does something out of the kindness of their heart, just to see a smile on our faces. When someone tells us the only thing they want for their birthday is to spend time with us, why do we question their motives, why is there doubt? <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.gifimagesdownload.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/cool-huh-gif-454.gif?w=840\" alt=\"Image result for huh gif\" \/>Have we been let down that many times we don\u2019t accept when someone wants us simply for us? We have been so let down and damaged by the inconsistency of others that we don\u2019t believe when someone comes into our lives and wants nothing more than to love us. Is it hard to be open to love after being hurt? It sure is but that shouldn\u2019t close you off because in doing so, you\u2019ll miss the one who is meant to be there and will consistently go above and beyond anything you\u2019ve ever experienced before.<\/p>\n<p>Infidelity is a huge problem in society today, side chicks\/dudes seem to be more the norm and relevant than a committed relationship. A faithful partner is not guaranteed, people are going to be who and how they are until they are tired of messing around. <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/25.media.tumblr.com\/bb502906f3f2898aa26eea54839df0c1\/tumblr_n2c8i5bOsX1t0twwxo1_500.gif?resize=332%2C172\" alt=\"Image result for infidelity gif\" width=\"332\" height=\"172\" \/>Being considerate and consistent doesn\u2019t guarantee a faithful partner but if you do for them as you would have them do for you, they won\u2019t have a reason to seek anything outside of you. Now, yes, there will be people you could do everything for who still aren\u2019t faithful but that has nothing to do with you, that\u2019s something they need to fix within themselves. In that instance, don\u2019t beat yourself up and slack on the next one out of fear the same thing will happen. No one is born bitter, they are created by the inconsistencies of those we&#8217;ve trusted to do and be better but only let us down by being just like the last ones.<\/p>\n<p>I could talk until I\u2019m blue in the face and some are too damaged and stubborn to actually listen and trust again. As hurt as I\u2019ve been, I still look forward to finding that lasting, consistent love we all seek. It\u2019s out there, you just have to be willing to take the chance but you also have to be willing to give it as well. No one will be consistent if they feel it\u2019s unappreciated or taken for granted. Dry your eyes, Dear Heart, <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/images.gr-assets.com\/hostedimages\/1470700006ra\/19954848.gif?resize=326%2C153&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Related image\" width=\"326\" height=\"153\" \/>and embrace all you have to offer and know that there is someone out there who will appreciate you for everything you are that the last one didn\u2019t. Doing from a mindset of feeling you <strong>have <\/strong>to do something feels more like a chore and will grow resentment within you. Instead, do from your heart for those you care about and I promise you\u2019ll be great and feel even better about yourself. Shine on my Lovelies!<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was scrolling thru my news feed and came across something posted by a friend which summed up exactly how I feel about consistency in relationships: It\u2019s consistency in the little things that matters most&#8230; \u201cShe didn\u2019t fall in love with you because you remembered her birthday and brought her flowers on Valentine\u2019s Day. She &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2017\/05\/09\/theres-strength-in-consistency\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;There&#8217;s Strength in Consistency&#8221;<\/span><\/a><!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on wp_trim_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-59","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=319"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/319\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":323,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/319\/revisions\/323"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}