{"id":344,"date":"2017-07-06T16:47:55","date_gmt":"2017-07-06T20:47:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=344"},"modified":"2017-07-06T17:05:42","modified_gmt":"2017-07-06T21:05:42","slug":"stop-being-a-messy-jesse-or-bessie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2017\/07\/06\/stop-being-a-messy-jesse-or-bessie\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Being a Messy Jesse or Bessie"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve all done it, we\u2019ve all sat around and talked about what we heard here or there from this person or that person. We\u2019ve all been guilty of it at some point in our lives, I am very guilty of it and I own that 100%! Hell, I watch nearly every ratchet reality show there is and then talk about it as if I actually know them! Yeah, I know, I need to do better and worry about shit that actually matters and affects my life and I\u2019m doing better, I promise. However, there will be times when you hear people talking about a person who isn\u2019t there and spilling tea everywhere about every detail they\u2019ve heard 3rd<\/sup> and 4th<\/sup> hand from other sources which are never confirmed as being accurate, it\u2019s just hearsay. \"ImageThis is when it becomes a problem because someone\u2019s character is being soiled by gossips who don\u2019t even know this person\u2019s last name, they just thrive off the drama. The saddest thing I\u2019m learning is that men are worse than women in this day and age when it comes to gossip and being messy.<\/p>\n

Have you ever been talking to someone and they start telling you YOUR business or the things they\u2019ve heard you\u2019ve done? You\u2019re having a conversation and learning how fabulous or trashy your, in reality, boring life is \u2018in these streets\u2019.\"RelatedI have lived in my home in a small town for 16 years now and, until 2.5 years ago, kept to myself and stayed in my house unless I was running errands for my household. I pride myself on being a mother and that\u2019s all I did, my girls were my life, they still are but are now teenagers and ignore me, and didn\u2019t have an interest in anything else. I was blessed to meet women from this area and started going out and enjoying what this little city had to offer. Well, in doing so, somehow word is I became a hoe because I was seen outside of my home at parties and functions. \"ImageRumors and gossip began to spread from the mouths of people, mainly men, because I was viewed as the new light skinned chick on the party scene and made up lies about me. The lies were so elaborate that I was rumored to be out in the streets when I was just sitting in my room vegging for the weekend, how impressive is that? Does it bother me? Hell yeah, how could it not? I always speak of Karma and crosses to bear and this is where I have to realize this isn\u2019t my cross to bear but more of a lesson to be learned ~ no matter what you do, how clean you keep your nose and reputation, someone, somewhere isn\u2019t satisfied with it and will do whatever they can to soil it.<\/p>\n

I guess what really scrapes my nerves is the fact that men have become worse than a scorned woman and will spread lies about a female who didn\u2019t return their advances. Seriously?! I\u2019m not interested in you because my focus is somewhere else and your response is to start the, \u201cI heard\u2026\u2026\u2026.\u201d? \"ImageYeah, very masculine and mature buddy. To quote a show, these spineless, insecure males are MITCHES:\"Related What self-respecting man would sit around and gossip about what females are doing without knowing them? Oh, that\u2019s right, my bad, I used the wrong word, they are not men, they are merely genetically male because a real man wouldn\u2019t entertain such nonsense coming from another person, especially not another man. There are guys who will say a particular female sleeps around to dirty her reputation so either no one will want her or the only reason a male will approach her is because he believes she is easy and quick to have sex with him. For those Mitches? I hope your lil dang-a-langs shrivel up and never work again, why not? You\u2019ve proven you\u2019re not man enough to deserve it.<\/p>\n

When you speak to others about someone else\u2019s business which you were not privy to learn firsthand, and by firsthand I mean sitting there watching it actually go down, you show how messy you truly are. Too many times, the rumor is believed over the truth if anyone ever had the cojones to actually ask the subject of the lies being spread. Spreading and believing gossip without confronting the victim is a sign of a weak individual. \"ImageIt takes a strong person to actually sit down and say, \u201cI heard a, b, c, about you from this source. I wanted to let you know what\u2019s being and been said about you\u201d and give them the opportunity to correct anything which isn\u2019t true. But no, society is too weak minded to actually be grown and mature enough to have an adult conversation with another person. When you decide to spread the rumors and gossip instead of sharing the info with the victim, you have officially stooped to the level of a bitter, scorned individual who has nothing better to do with their time than spread lies.<\/p>\n

When you spread and contribute to rumors and gossip, you\u2019re showing how insecure you are within yourself and the life you live. If you were secure about everything you have going on and who you are, you wouldn\u2019t have time to even entertain such foolishness. But alas, people who have messed up lives seem to feel talking about others is their only way to escape what\u2019s not right in their own. You also have the ones who have so very little going on in their own lives, they thrive off the drama they hear \u2018in these streets\u2019. For these people, I merely say \u201cGet yo life\u201d and stay out of everyone else\u2019s, especially mine. \"ImageThe reality is, my, your momma\u2019s, best friend\u2019s, co-worker\u2019s business is not yours to tell. Have you ever wondered why, if these people\u2019s lives were so fabulously perfect, why aren\u2019t they bragging on themselves? Because they live in a world of despair, depression or even boredom, that\u2019s why.\u00a0 What is accomplished by trying to bring another human being down thru lies? We really need to do better as a human race, there is more attention shown to the negative side of someone\u2019s life than ever given to the good and positive they\u2019re doing.<\/p>\n

I, personally, have never been a jealous or envious person but that\u2019s not to say they don\u2019t exist in overwhelming numbers. A jealous person spreads lies, rumors and gossip about someone else they feel have it better than themselves.\"Image Here\u2019s the thing, my life is just that, mine just as is yours is yours. You have things I may not have and that\u2019s fine, I\u2019m not jealous because what\u2019s meant for you is not meant for me, lives play out differently every single second of the day. Everyone\u2019s lives and what they have are a result of the Karma created at some point in their lives. If you do good, work hard and strive to have as many material possessions as possible, that\u2019s on you and what makes you happy. If you volunteer with the elderly or animals, the universe will reward you for your efforts. If you are constantly either spreading or believing rumors and gossip\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026let me know how things are going in your life because I\u2019m sure you feel like you can\u2019t catch a break. Again, one simple but powerful word: KARMA<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Rumors and gossip also spread like wild fire because very few know what it means to be a friend to another person. You have people who smile in your face and want to be around you but that\u2019s merely to learn your business so they can run and tell others. When you have a true friend, they won\u2019t tolerate hearing your name dragged thru the mud and will let those speaking incorrectly about you know and then share with you what\u2019s been said. A real friend has your back in every aspect of life and will be happy for your accomplishments, not diminish them by a lie from another.<\/p>\n

At the end of the day, none of us always make the right decisions in life, we err and that\u2019s okay as long as we\u2019re learning from our mistakes. Our missteps should never be put under a microscope to be judged and criticized by others who don\u2019t have their own lives in order. \"ImageWhat works for your situation may not work for mine and vice versus, it is what it is, no reason to hate on it. There are so many things people will hate on when things aren’t going right in their lives, such as: someone who works a 9 – 5 desk job envies the person who works from home. Or the ones who see a couple who are sickeningly in love while they spend their weekends with Netflix and snacks. Instead of hating, them and be happy they\u2019ve found love with the understanding you, too, will have it, it\u2019s just not your time. If you live in a townhouse and someone else lives in a 7,000 square foot home, enjoy and beautify your abode, you never know what goes on behind their closed doors.<\/p>\n

As you can tell, I hate rumors and gossip because it taints people\u2019s characters and the opinions of others towards them. I believe if you\u2019re a shit stirrer, you should be made to lick the spoon to gain the lesson of keeping your mouth shut about that which you don\u2019t know. \"ImageBut, again, if we knew better, we\u2019d do better, right? Focus on you and yours and the drama will not entertain you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve all done it, we\u2019ve all sat around and talked about what we heard here or there from this person or that person. We\u2019ve all been guilty of it at some point in our lives, I am very guilty of it and I own that 100%! Hell, I watch nearly every ratchet reality show there … Continue reading “Stop Being a Messy Jesse or Bessie”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":347,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-344","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-5y","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Getting-too-old.gif?fit=625%2C250&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=344"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":349,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344\/revisions\/349"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/347"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=344"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=344"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}