{"id":366,"date":"2017-08-09T19:41:17","date_gmt":"2017-08-09T23:41:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=366"},"modified":"2017-08-09T19:41:17","modified_gmt":"2017-08-09T23:41:17","slug":"blurred-lines","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2017\/08\/09\/blurred-lines\/","title":{"rendered":"Blurred Lines"},"content":{"rendered":"

Look at you working life like a boss! Your career is going well, your children aren\u2019t failing out of school or getting locked up (they\u2019re still children, there will always be issues), you have yourself a good group of friends who, for the most part are drama free ~ life is good. BUT you miss the companionship of the opposite sex\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026who am I kidding, you miss getting laid every once in a while, who doesn\u2019t? I mean, you could have the best girlfriends, fattest bank account, and your child can be on the dean\u2019s list but momma needs some lovin\u2019 every so often and it\u2019s perfectly normal, we\u2019re only human! \"ImageMaybe you’re recently out of a relationship and just want to heal and have some \u2018me\u2019 time so, you have your flings here and there but still feel empty and unsatisfied because you can\u2019t find that one person who does things (and you) the way you like enough to go back and make it a friends with benefits type of situation. You\u2019re both on the same page of not wanting a relationship at this juncture and the sex is the BOMB! But, as time goes on, you start questioning what this has actually become and you didn\u2019t get here by yourself\u2026..<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve ever been in a friends with benefits type of situation, you understand what a sticky wicket it can turn out to be, feelings are bound to get involved because you are being intimate with this person. Most people neglect to recognize the most important word in that term: Friends. You are getting to know this person, you converse and begin to care for them as a friend, not a partner or Boo, just a friend you have some great sex with. Now, if you don\u2019t want to risk any feelings getting involved, simply keep it at F Buddies and I guarantee you won\u2019t have as many issues. See, there are distinct differences between F Buddies (FB) and Friends With Benefits (FWB).\"Image An FB is someone who you\u2019ve had sex with before and you know they gets the job DONE, it\u2019s guaranteed mind blowing sex, you call them only after midnight, you leave as soon as the act is finished, there is no lingering around and chatting, that\u2019s not what you went there for, and definitely no phone calls or texts outside of \u201cYou home\u201d or \u201cWyd\u201d? They serve one purpose and one purpose only, you don\u2019t really even know if you have anything besides sex in common because anything outside of that bedroom in the wee hours of the morning is not your concern. \"ImageNow, an FWB is where it gets complicated because this is someone you hang out with, have similar taste in music and movies, can carry on intelligent conversations with, you\u2019re comfortable with them, and have some good sex together. Here are a couple of things these 2 situations have in common: you don\u2019t get downright nasty and do things such as oral sex, bondage,\"Imagethreesomes or dates, that\u2019s shit you save for your real BOO; there is never any spending of the night; no expectations of it being anything more than sex; no cuddling after sex; and definitely no discussion of feelings of love. YIKES, the L word with someone whose mother you haven\u2019t even met?<\/p>\n

How many times have you had the \u201cI don\u2019t want a relationship\u201d card pulled on you? This is somewhat of a \u201c\"Image\u201d card because they can pull it at any time they want. If something happens and you get upset or jealous, they don\u2019t have to care about your feelings because, remember, you\u2019re not in a relationship. They feel they don\u2019t have to entertain the \u201cWhere is this going\u201d conversation because they have reiterated to you that this isn\u2019t and they don\u2019t want a relationship. However, they are acting like your Boo! They are sending mixed signals left and right, leaving you dazed and confused and will actually act offended as to why you thought it was more than it was. \"ImageThis person invites you over or asks to see you 5 out of 7 days of the week, cooks for you or lets you cook for them, gives you free reign over their home, lets you meet their children, shares intimate parts of their life and experiences, cuddles you as you sleep, and hits it raw! But will be sure to tell you they aren\u2019t your Boo. Yeah, I know, your head is spinning just as mine is because that\u2019s a very confusing situation to be in. They are showing and acting like your Boo but won\u2019t see you outside of the house or take you on an actual date because that\u2019s<\/strong> what would make it a relationship, right? In today\u2019s society, we\u2019ve settled for being in situationships instead of acknowledging it for what it is ~ a relationship ~ out of fear of scaring this potential mate away.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s comical to me and sad at the same time how many people don\u2019t know what it actually means to be single and these are the same people who are crossing the FWB lines and feel they\u2019re single because they say<\/strong> they don\u2019t want a relationship. Being single means just that, you are single, you hang with your friends, can go on dates with multiple people or stay in the house and veg in your jammies all weekend, you don\u2019t have to answer to anyone about your whereabouts or what you\u2019re doing, you sleep alone every single night, essentially, you are your own person and responsible for you.\"Image Just because you don\u2019t label something doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s not something more than what you claim you don\u2019t want or are ready for. If you aren\u2019t ready for a relationship, be single, don\u2019t entertain anyone else right now, don\u2019t bring anyone else into your drama or world because they will catch feelings of some sort, it\u2019s bound to happen no matter how many times you say \u201cI don\u2019t want a relationship\u201d. If you don\u2019t want a relationship, stop acting like my Boo and let\u2019s just be FB so I can do what I want to do without the guilt of possibly hurting you or getting hurt from seeing you out with someone else.\"Image To treat someone like your Boo but never give the respect of actually letting them be your Boo is why there are so many damaged humans who, in turn, do the same thing to the next person.<\/p>\n

If you are not ready, willing or able to take someone on a dates and be an active part of their life, don\u2019t let them spend the night, don\u2019t cook for them or let them cook for you, don\u2019t let them run errands with you, don\u2019t let them supply your habit, and don\u2019t have sex with them without protection because that\u2019s shit that is done in a relationship. You don\u2019t want a girl\/boyfriend? Call up that one person who is as interesting as a box of rocks and good for nothing more than blowing your back out and curling your toes, that person who you\u2019d never take home to meet your family because you don\u2019t even really like them, you just like their sex. \u00a0These 2 terms were created because people thought it would be a simple, non-complicated way of getting the benefits of getting laid without having any strings attached or actually having to work for the sex. \"ImageWhen did we become so unworthy of getting a date somewhere in between giving you some coochie\/dang-a-lang? FB and FWB was supposed to be easy but it\u2019s become more difficult than actually being in a relationship, at least in the relationship you know what the deal is! When you make the mature decision to claim your partner and put a status on what you\u2019re doing, you know that: you\u2019re together; you\u2019re not free to date someone else; you\u2019re free to let your freak flag fly with them and try things you normally wouldn\u2019t; you can and are usually expected to spend the night; you share your whereabouts out of common courtesy and respect; and you are well within your right to ask at any point where this is going.<\/p>\n

\"Image<\/p>\n

If you are not ready for a relationship, stick to one time sexual encounters with different people, don\u2019t pick one person and make them your non-committed Boo, you\u2019re worth more than that. FB and FWB situations rarely end well because only one person stuck to their guns about it being about nothing more than sex while the other person may have caught feelings. You can\u2019t just have repeated sex and be intimate with a person and just walk away and start your life with someone else as though that other person never mattered. No matter how much you want to claim you never caught feelings because you knew what it was and never wanted a relationship, you still lose a friend when it ends when you\u2019re not honest with yourself or them.\u00a0\"ImageYes, telling someone you don\u2019t want a relationship is showing honesty but to lead them on by acting like their Boo in every sense of the word outside of actually dating them is being dishonest. One of the worst things you can do is to lead someone on and then question and make them feel bad about catching feelings and developing expectations of \u201cwhere this is headed\u201d.<\/p>\n

The main thing most fail to understand and recognize is that it\u2019s not your sexual prowess which made this person fall for you, it was your character and how you treated them.\"Image<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Look at you working life like a boss! Your career is going well, your children aren\u2019t failing out of school or getting locked up (they\u2019re still children, there will always be issues), you have yourself a good group of friends who, for the most part are drama free ~ life is good. BUT you miss … Continue reading “Blurred Lines”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":370,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-366","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-5U","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/FWB.gif?fit=500%2C281&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/366","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=366"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/366\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":371,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/366\/revisions\/371"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/370"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=366"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=366"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=366"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}