{"id":399,"date":"2017-10-04T09:35:03","date_gmt":"2017-10-04T13:35:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=399"},"modified":"2017-10-04T09:35:03","modified_gmt":"2017-10-04T13:35:03","slug":"why-isnt-1-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2017\/10\/04\/why-isnt-1-enough\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Isn’t 1 Enough?"},"content":{"rendered":"

You and your friend are hanging out, having a good time when a handsome guy or attractive female approach you both. You all start talking and this person is flirting with both of you and the conversation flows easily. Your friend has eyes for them so, you encourage the connection.\"Image The night is going great, they exchange phone numbers and you think a love connection has just occurred before your very eyes! GREAT! Right? During all this conversing, there was one question which wasn\u2019t asked, \u201cAre you involved with someone\u201d? So, you take it upon yourself to ask them because your friend doesn\u2019t want to ruin the vibe and you learn they\u2019re in a long term relationship with someone else, so involved they actually live with this person! Why is that person not enough to keep them from flirting and pursuing other people?<\/p>\n

I know this scenario all too well and have gotten completely turned off by anyone approaching me at this point in my life because I am not here to be anyone\u2019s side chick. Unfortunately, there are numerous people who will settle for being that person on the side just to say they have a piece of a man\/woman. A more unfortunate truth is we have all been someone on the side at one point or another in our lives and didn\u2019t even know it. We fall for someone and have no reason not to trust what they are telling us so, we go with it because we don\u2019t want to be alone and this person shows us attention when no one else does.<\/p>\n

Call me crazy (won\u2019t be the first time) but I just don\u2019t get it. Why be involved with someone, profess your love to them, open your heart and home to this person and actually have them believing they are the only one while you\u2019re out here trying to get laid by every person you see?! Why not just be single instead of bringing someone else into your drama and promiscuity? This totally baffles my mind because there are more married people out here with multiple partners than single people. Truth be told, we single people get far less play, attention and sex than those in committed relationships. This is the sad state of our society at this point and all I can do is shake my head at the lack of true commitment and respect for one another, especially the one you \u201cclaim\u201d to love. Yes, I said \u2018claim\u2019 to love because if you truly loved them, you\u2019d be faithful to them or leave them and let them find the person who truly appreciates and respects them and what it means to be committed to them and only them.<\/p>\n

Side pieces have become such the norm that the person who stays committed to one person and that person only is now viewed as some sort of lame cornball. I have had guys approach me with such a proposition and then get in their feelings when I say, \u201cNo thank you<\/em>\u201d. When did we get here? When did it become okay to say, \u201cI\u2019m married but I want to be with you too<\/em>\u201d? \"ImageI\u2019m not that <\/em>one, I am the<\/strong> one and expect and demand to be the only<\/strong> one when I\u2019m dealing with someone because they will be my<\/strong> only one. So, give me that lame cornball who only has time, eyes, and attention for me, the one who wouldn\u2019t dream of entertaining the advances of another person because they love and respect me and what we are building.<\/p>\n

I know of a guy who has a whole wife and baby on the way yet still tries to stick his dang-a-lang in each and every female in his line of sight. In my humble opinion, if you\u2019re always seeking someone outside of your relationship, you\u2019re not happy within it. How can you say you\u2019re happy, always posting pics of you and your Boo on social media but sending unsolicited dick pics to other females\u2019 inboxes? \"ImageWho does that?! Unfortunately, more than you can count. This guy\u2019s MO *Method of Operation* is different than most married guys who cheat because he has never once stated he is unhappy in his marriage, in fact, he never talks about his wife in public. There are times he wears his ring and other times, he conveniently forgets to put it on but it doesn\u2019t matter because he has a tattoo on his wedding finger which indicates he\u2019s taken. I actually feel sorry for his wife because she has no idea how truly scandalous her husband is when he\u2019s out in these streets trying to get laid by every female with a pulse.<\/p>\n

The most common way a person in a committed relationship will try to woo a single person is to give them the \u2018whoa is me\u2019<\/em> sob story, detailing how unaffectionate their partner is or they haven\u2019t been happy in a long time or they\u2019re only with them because of the children or it\u2019s cheaper to keep and stay with them. Have attempts been made to lure me into a situation such as this? There sure have been and, because I have a caring heart and listening ear, it seems as though I am interested but, honestly, I\u2019m only listening.\u00a0During the conversation, I ask a couple of questions: \u201cIf you\u2019re so unhappy, why don\u2019t you just leave? Why stay with someone you don\u2019t even like going home to\u201d? and for that, I usually don\u2019t get a solid answer.\"Image<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s my view on this, I was someone\u2019s wife, have been someone\u2019s girlfriend and would have been absolutely crushed to learn my partner was out here trying to have some sort of romantic and\/or sexual relationship with another person or multiple people.<\/p>\n

When you step out on your partner, you\u2019re destroying their self-esteem and confidence by making them feel as though they are not enough for you. The other person in the relationship, who has been faithfully committed to their partner, is the one who gets hurt the worse because they never saw it coming. You claim to love and cherish your Boo, right? Do you ever stop to think, prior to laying down with someone who isn\u2019t<\/strong> them, about what it will do to them when they find out? \"ImageOh, yes Sweetie, they will<\/strong> find out because everything done in the dark comes to light. I don\u2019t care how careful and calculated you may believe you are, wrong is wrong and your Karma will catch up to you in one form or another.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what\u2019s truly laughable to me: the one out here doing their dirt, having sex with this person, that person, these 3 over here, and that one over there on drunk nights \"Imagewould be absolutely crushed and pissed if they found out their Boo merely entertained conversation from someone of the opposite sex. Crazy huh? No matter how many times they cheat, they expect and dayum near demand to be forgiven, making you feel as though you don\u2019t love them if you don\u2019t! This person can and will cheat more times than you can count and you forgive them each and every time because you love them but they don\u2019t offer the same forgiveness or understanding if they see you having a conversation with another person.\"Image Mind you, no sex has occurred between you and the other person but your partner doesn\u2019t care, they feel betrayed, make you feel like shit and, if they stay with you, will bring it up every time they are in the dog house. Your Boo will view your conversation as a Get Out of Jail Free <\/strong>card and continue to mess around with others and are more careless and ruthless with it. If you get in your feelings\/angry, they\u2019ll simply say, \u201cRemember that dude you were talking to? Hmph, you didn\u2019t have respect for me, why should I have respect for you<\/em>\u201d? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing, never let anyone make you feel as though you are not worthy of commitment and loyalty, we all deserve it. You are worth so much more than being someone on the side, getting a couple of hours here and there, being their listening ear as they bitch about their partner and their ways, being their lil secret all while giving your love, energy and body to them before they go home to the person they claim is their darkness. Shine your light bright and don\u2019t settle for being a side piece. The reason side pieces are ruling relationships is because they\u2019re accepting it. Next time a dude says, \u201cYeah, I\u2019ve got a girl but I want get to know you better<\/em>\u201d, tell his dirty dang-a-lang ass to kick rocks barefoot! \"ImageIt is so much better to be single, sleep alone and not have to worry about his wife banging on your door because he can\u2019t keep it in his pants! We do judicial researches on people when we meet them to find out if they have judgments or warrants, why not put that same effort into finding out if they have a spouse at home?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You and your friend are hanging out, having a good time when a handsome guy or attractive female approach you both. You all start talking and this person is flirting with both of you and the conversation flows easily. Your friend has eyes for them so, you encourage the connection. The night is going great, … Continue reading “Why Isn’t 1 Enough?”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":401,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-399","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-6r","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/loyalty-is-everything-e1507124056617.jpg?fit=480%2C397&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/399","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=399"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/399\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":400,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/399\/revisions\/400"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/401"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=399"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=399"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=399"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}