{"id":449,"date":"2018-01-24T20:38:26","date_gmt":"2018-01-25T01:38:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=449"},"modified":"2018-01-24T20:38:26","modified_gmt":"2018-01-25T01:38:26","slug":"me-too","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2018\/01\/24\/me-too\/","title":{"rendered":"Me Too"},"content":{"rendered":"

This past weekend marked the 1 year anniversary of the Women\u2019s March in major cities of the US and was done so by more marches, rallies and gatherings of women in support of one another. Both years, women from all over the world rallied to embrace what it means to be a woman and how wonderful our gender truly is.\u00a0\"Image<\/p>\n

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It doesn\u2019t matter if you\u2019re 15 or 75, Black, White, Asian, Latina, etc., you\u2019re supported by your entire gender, we\u2019ve got your back. This year’s rally was just as empowering, there were speeches which touched my sou, especially the one by Halsey.\u00a0\"ImageCheck it out:\u00a0\u00a0https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Dpq8pHLhdV0<\/p>\n

Her poem held so much pain, passion, and conviction detailing incidents which happened to her as well as her close friends and I could relate to some of the things which happened to them, that\u2019s an unfortunate connection. In October 2017, we were introduced to the #MeToo<\/strong> movement.\"Image This movement was astonishing to say the very least and continues to gain momentum, veracity and, unfortunately, more members with each passing moment. #MeToo <\/strong>spread virally as a two word hashtag on social media to help demonstrate the widespread prevalence of sexual assault and harassment, both in the workplace and social life. \"ImageThis phrase is used to help survivors realize they are not alone. Once we began to speak our truth of things which had happened to us, it gave others courage to share their experiences as well which birthed a massive movement and slew of sexual harassment allegations in our world of entertainment. The sad part is, the allegations weren\u2019t given media attention nor did they spawn a movement when it happened to Katie who worked in the copy area of Kinko’s. This has been happening for decades but it wasn\u2019t until the rich and famous spoke out has something been done to bring attention to the severity of it.I can\u2019t lie and say I don\u2019t feel some kind of way about that but I\u2019m also happy it’s finally being taken seriously and attention is being given to it.<\/p>\n

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For me, #MeToo<\/strong> were 2 of the hardest words I\u2019ve ever typed in my life. It was hard for me because I had been made to feel shame for what happened to me or that it wasn\u2019t that big of a deal, I was \u2018just overreacting\u2019. \"RelatedI was silenced about what happened to me because someone I trusted convinced to stay quiet to spare my offender\u2019s reputation or having this same person believe my assailant over me because he told her his side first and said I\u2019d call and lie on him. Being a private person, I hesitated because I didn\u2019t want people to look at me differently but then I realized that if I didn\u2019t come forward, others might not either, all it takes is that one familiar face to give you comfort and strength to speak your truth. In the era which I grew up, date rape was a relatively new term and wasn\u2019t considered actual rape and definitely not taken seriously because you voluntarily went somewhere with this person whom you knew, it wasn\u2019t some scary guy who jumped out from behind a bush with a ski mask on, wrestling you to the ground at gun or knife point and violating you. No, this is someone you\u2019ve had conversations and shared with, someone whom you\u2019ve actually gone out with before, a person none of their family or friends would believe was capable of forcing you to have sex with them all because that\u2019s how they<\/strong> wanted the date to end. The people who try to silence you may not even realize how offensive they are being when they ask you not to say anything but it\u2019s never okay to ask someone to remain silent when they\u2019ve been violated, I don\u2019t give a shit WHO the assailant is! If they have made you feel uncomfortable and violated you? Speak your truth, don\u2019t let someone convince you that your dignity and self-respect is worth less than that piece of shit\u2019s reputation because they will only go on to do it to others. Speaking up gives you the power to stop this with you. \"ImageIf this were not such a taboo subject to speak about, I\u2019m sure we\u2019d all learn a lot about our female family members and be saddened by how many are also able to say #MeToo<\/strong>.\u00a0Unfortunately, I don\u2019t believe the women in my family would allow themselves to be that vulnerable and will take that pain to their graves but not me, I\u2019m here to help others with my truth and experiences.<\/p>\n

Being a female working in male dominated corporate America, I\u2019ve had my share of sexual harassment as well. Due to how I was handled when I did the right thing and reported it to human resources, I never spoke up again, I was silenced by their lack of discretion and confidentiality. The way they handled my allegations caused me to never be able to trust another human resources department wherever I worked. Unbeknownst to me, the director was buddies with my boss, everything I detailed in confidence was shared with my boss before I could make it back to my desk. Due to the lack of discretion shown by the HR director, it immediately became a miserable place to work, comments both directly and indirectly were verbalized about me such as, \u201cOh, don\u2019t look at her, she\u2019ll get you written up for sexual harassment<\/em>\u201d or \u201cIt\u2019s okay to touch her if she\u2019s having a good day but I touched her when she was PMS\u2019ing<\/em>\u201d or \u201cYou don\u2019t have to worry about me asking you for shit else, you\u2019ve gotten me in enough trouble for something which was innocent<\/em>\u201d.\u00a0\"Image<\/p>\n

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All of this because I didn\u2019t feel comfortable with this man walking behind my desk and massaging my shoulders and when I asked him to stop, he said, \u201cThat\u2019s not what you were saying last night<\/em>\u201d and now I\u2019m the bad person for speaking up. Funny how that works out isn\u2019t it? The victim is now the overly sensitive tattle tale and made to feel as though they are wrong for speaking up.<\/p>\n

Listening to the advice of someone who wasn\u2019t forced to have sex, give head or be touched inappropriately is a sure way to feel worse about the situation because they are unable to empathize with you. They don\u2019t know what it was like to repeatedly say NO<\/strong> and still have this person pawing at you, getting more and more aggressive with each attempt until you could no longer say No because he has penetrated you! This person doesn\u2019t know what it\u2019s like to have to in the car with the same person who didn\u2019t even respect you enough to put a condom on and came inside of you, putting you at risk for STDs and a possible unwanted pregnancy! This person doesn\u2019t know what it\u2019s like to be dropped off in front of your house as though nothing out of the norm transpired, your assailant feels they’ve done nothing wrong while you are dying on the inside! This person doesn\u2019t know what it\u2019s like to feel worthless and only wanted for what\u2019s between your legs and then disposed of when it\u2019s taken against your will! This person doesn\u2019t know what it\u2019s like to feel as though you can’t scrub yourself clean enough to get that feeling off of you!\u00a0\"ImageThey don\u2019t know what it\u2019s like to cry yourself to sleep for so many nights you soon lose track! They don\u2019t know what it\u2019s like to feel you have to separate yourself from the activities which once brought you joy because you don\u2019t feel worthy of happiness!! They don’t know the shame and guilt you carry around because you went on a date!! They don’t how dirty and damaged you feel! They don’t understand that just because you don’t have bruises on your body or face doesn’t mean you weren’t raped!! Unless you have been there, you will never understand any of this and how detrimental all of this is to a woman\u2019s psyche, she feels as though she can trust no one from that point on, a wall is now built around her all because one<\/strong> person couldn\u2019t control themselves and respect those 2 simple letters: NO.<\/p>\n

There was a case within the last year or so where the judge condemned and questioned the victim of a rape by asking her questions such as \u201cWhy would you wear something like that out? You\u2019re only asking for it<\/em>\u201d and \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you just close your legs when he tried to enter you<\/em>\u201d? Never mind the fact this man had her pinned against a sink in a men\u2019s room and entered her from behind while he had her arms clutched behind her back. This judge let the guy off because the girl had been wearing a skirt and drinking that evening and stated she wanted to get laid and could have easily prevented it if she truly wanted to. What kind of monkey shit is THAT?! In a court of law, the judge blames the rape victim for her rape and lets the guy off scott free?! I guess this is what happens when you elect someone into the most powerful position in the country who believes it\u2019s okay to grab women by the pu**y because \"ImageI understand everyone is not yet comfortable enough to type #MeToo. <\/strong>For some,\u00a0it\u2019s too fresh, deep, or personal to share with the world just yet but understand this, if you ever want to share what you\u2019ve been thru, I\u2019m here to listen and keep it to myself because I know how important and what a relief it is to just verbalize it.\u00a0\"Image<\/p>\n

When you talk about it, you take away the hold it has on you and you\u2019re able to have control of your life and begin to finally heal. This hasn\u2019t been a caveman society for centuries now, it\u2019s not okay to club someone over the head or slip a Molly in their drink to get what you want. Be a normal human being and have some patience and earn her most prized possession because if not, you\u2019ll get to see how you look in prison orange and have yourself a new Boo named Bubba.\"Related<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This past weekend marked the 1 year anniversary of the Women\u2019s March in major cities of the US and was done so by more marches, rallies and gatherings of women in support of one another. Both years, women from all over the world rallied to embrace what it means to be a woman and how … Continue reading “Me Too”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":455,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-449","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-7f","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/me-too.gif?fit=400%2C225&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=449"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":456,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449\/revisions\/456"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/455"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=449"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=449"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=449"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}