{"id":467,"date":"2018-03-17T14:07:52","date_gmt":"2018-03-17T18:07:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=467"},"modified":"2018-03-17T14:07:52","modified_gmt":"2018-03-17T18:07:52","slug":"stand-with-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/17\/stand-with-them\/","title":{"rendered":"Stand With Them"},"content":{"rendered":"

Earlier this week, my daughters participated in National Walk Out Day, as I\u2019m sure many, if not all, of your children did. For those who are unaware what this day means and stood for, I\u2019ll enlighten you. Last month, on February 14th<\/sup>, 17 students and faculty were gunned down in their high school in Florida by a former student who was butt hurt and obviously mentally off. On March 14th<\/sup>, students and faculty around the world walked out of school at 10 am to pay their respects to those who lost their lives just a month prior. Some students went down to Washington, DC and peacefully protested on the lawn of the capitol building for stricter gun laws so this type of tragedy won\u2019t happen again.\"Image I was and continue to be very proud and supportive of my daughters doing what they feel necessary to make sure their voices and presence are heard and felt, this is a sentiment shared by other parents as well. But, you know, when it\u2019s a worldwide event, there will always be differing points of view and opinions. I know I\u2019m not supposed to nay-say another\u2019s opinion but I\u2019m seriously disappointed in some folks who consider themselves grown but criticized our youth for standing up and doing something they as adults didn\u2019t have the balls to do.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s start with the bullying aspect because that\u2019s one opinion I saw while scrolling thru social media. The opinion which stands out most to me is: These kids will walk out for gun control but those same kids won\u2019t stand up to a bully<\/em><\/strong>. First of all, how many parents are aware their child is actually the one doing the bullying? \"ImageThere are many parents who have no idea the harm their child causes another child on a daily basis. A perfect example of this is from when my youngest was in 3rd<\/sup> grade, I participated in their field day activities armed with knowledge of a little girl who tormented my child on a regular basis since the 1st<\/sup> grade. During the activities, I struck up a conversation with another parent and pointed out how this certain child tormented mine. This man patiently listened as I detailed what transpired between the 2 girls and when I finished, he let me know the tormentor was his daughter. This man had no clue of what his daughter was capable of and he apologized to me and assured me it would no longer be an issue. That was 6 years ago and since that day, that little girl and my daughter have been friends. \u00a0Until your child is the victim of bullying, you\u2019ve no idea how much the school system protects the bully over your child. I\u2019ve had numerous experiences with my daughters being in situations where I want to wait outside to deal with someone else\u2019s child but I can\u2019t even get a meeting with the parents because the school isn\u2019t allowed to get involved. Since some of you are so smart on how to handle bullying, please share with me how you make it stop when you can\u2019t even have a meeting with the other parents to discuss what\u2019s happening.\u00a0\"Image<\/p>\n

There are many so-called parents who aren\u2019t involved in their child\u2019s day to day activities or even thoughts who want to tell another parent how to raise their child when they\u2019re not even taking the time to raise their own. Throwing money, clothes, shoes, weaves, and video game systems at your child is not raising them. \"ImageNo one is the perfect parent, such thing doesn\u2019t exist, we just do what we can to ensure our children don\u2019t grow up to be the assholes who shoot up schools or torment others due to their own insecurities\u2026\u2026\u2026.well, some of us do. When this tragedy took place, my daughters came to me and expressed their fears of now going to school because they didn\u2019t want to die! They are 14 and 16 years old and are afraid some jerk is going to take out his aggression for one person on everyone he sees. In 2018, 6 year old children are doing \u2018Shooter Drills\u2019 which entails them hiding in closets and making walls of protection out of their desks!! \"ImageChildren should not have to worry about staying alive in order to get an education. How can they focus on their schoolwork if they\u2019re jumpy and on edge at every sudden movement around them? No child should be more afraid of going to school than they are of going to the mall. There are many who will try to have empathy for the shooter because he\u2019s been thru a lot in his 19 years on this earth but there are many more who\u2019ve dealt with much worse who don\u2019t pick up an assault weapon and kill people because of it. \"ImageThese same butt hurt and neglected children grow up to be psychotic adults who use their anger to control others any way they see fit.<\/p>\n

During a recent conversation with my daughters, my oldest let me know I was doing something right and my heart melted because, as parents, we always wondering if we\u2019re screwing them up. My oldest said, \u201cYou do what you can to make sure we\u2019re good when we leave the house. Even on my worst mornings, you talk to me calmly and end with \u2018Get it together, you don\u2019t want your morning to ruin your day\u2019. You don\u2019t realize how much that helps me and I actually have better days because of you caring and taking the time to make sure I\u2019m okay. Maybe if more parents were like you, there wouldn\u2019t be so many angry people who hurt and kill others<\/em>\u201d.<\/p>\n

Since my daughters were young, I\u2019ve been called \u201cClaire Huxtable\u201d because of the way I interact with my children, I take it as a huge compliment and wear it like a badge of honor. \"ImageWhen I was growing up, my mother didn\u2019t talk to me about how I felt or what was going on in my life, she just assigned me chores and expected them done with no back talk, very cut and dry relationship. Because of this, when I have to discipline my girls, I say what I have to say, send them to their rooms to think about it and for cooler heads to prevail. I wait a few minutes and then head to their room so we can discuss what happened and what they felt was the main issue and you\u2019d be surprised how differently they interpret conversations. \"ImageJust because they are children doesn\u2019t mean they don\u2019t want and need to be heard by their parents. If you just spew words at your child and leave it there, you\u2019re leaving so many questions unanswered and your child feels alone, unheard and as though their feelings don\u2019t matter. Parenting is not a cut and dry situation, it\u2019s a responsibility too many don\u2019t take seriously. When you have a disagreement with your Boo or bestie, do you say your point and walk away with the expectation it\u2019s done and over or do you talk it out? Why are your children not worthy of the same treatment?<\/p>\n

In case you haven\u2019t guessed it, I take this parenting thing seriously, I\u2019m responsible for molding respectful and responsible humans who don\u2019t take their shit out on others. Taking it seriously means taking the time to get to know and understand my children, letting them know they can come to me whenever something is wrong and when they don\u2019t come to me, I go to them and ask them, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on? You seem off, let\u2019s talk about it<\/em>\u201d because I pay attention to their demeanor. If we don\u2019t take the time to listen to and be there for our children, they\u2019ll keep it bottled up inside until they burst and that doesn\u2019t end well for anyone. I pay attention to their actions and attitudes and when there\u2019s more bickering than usual, they\u2019re teenage girls, there\u2019s always bickering in my house. \"ImageBut when it becomes too much, the three of us sit down and have a Come to Jesus<\/strong> meeting. We sit at the dining room table, no electronics are allowed because we have to focus, I have my glass of wine in hand because, well, it\u2019s needed and I start the conversation with, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on? You have been snapping at your sister and walking around with an attitude, let\u2019s talk<\/em>\u201d. It used to take a lot more conversation from me to pull it out of them but it\u2019s gotten easier over the years. Usually, something happened at school which didn\u2019t sit well with one of them and they carried it around while it festered and they took that hostility out on those in my house. Once the conversation starts, it usually gets heated, I take a few sips of wine, calm them down and remind them how to speak to one another, the conversation resumes and all issues are out in the open and dealt with. \"ImageIt\u2019s amazing to me how I can feel the tension in the house dissolve once our \u2018meeting\u2019 is over and we\u2019re laughing and joking with one another. Would I recommend this to other parents? Hell yeah! But, everyone parents differently and does what they feel is right for their children, this is what is right and works for me and mine.<\/p>\n

On March 24th<\/sup>, I will be taking my daughters down to the Mall to participate in the March For Life with thousands of other parents and children to speak out on the violence and march for stricter gun control laws.\u00a0\"Image<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Earlier this week, my daughters participated in National Walk Out Day, as I\u2019m sure many, if not all, of your children did. For those who are unaware what this day means and stood for, I\u2019ll enlighten you. Last month, on February 14th, 17 students and faculty were gunned down in their high school in Florida … Continue reading “Stand With Them”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":470,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-467","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-7x","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/how-many-more-e1521310035733.jpg?fit=400%2C267&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/467","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=467"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/467\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":469,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/467\/revisions\/469"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/470"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=467"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=467"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=467"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}