How many times have we heard \u201cMy hubby did this or that\u201d or \u201cLook at my wifey doing her thing\u201d and know the 2 are not married?\u00a0 I don\u2019t discredit anyone\u2019s relationship but I do take marriage very seriously.\u00a0 Marriage is a sacred vow between 2 people who love and respect each other and commit to spend the rest of their lives together.\u00a0 It\u2019s so crazy to know someone who has taken the last name of a man who beat the begeezus out of her, is locked up for other reasons, and claims him as her husband.\u00a0 To be someone\u2019s spouse is an honor not just a title.\u00a0 This honor is not bestowed upon many\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..unless you live in Hollywood!\u00a0 LOL<\/p>\n
Living with someone and talking about marriage doesn\u2019t make you married, it doesn\u2019t even make you engaged, just makes you living together or, as my grandparents would say, shacking up.\u00a0 I know people who aren\u2019t even living together claiming each other as their husband\/wife.\u00a0 Until he speaks to your parent(s) and ask for your hand in marriage and gives you a ring, you are merely just a girlfriend, nothing more.\u00a0 We have to stop settling for someone calling us their wifey with no intentions of actually making us their wife.<\/p>\n
When you are married, you are in it together for the long haul.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m not saying it always works out, sometimes it doesn\u2019t, it\u2019s not an easy journey. Being married will be one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life because it takes work to make it work.\u00a0 The work does not stop at the altar once you say \u201cI Do\u201d, that\u2019s actually when it begins.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s hard enough trying to make things work alone and now, being married, you have to make it work with another person factored in to every decision you make. There\u2019s no more spending frivolously because that now affects your household finances.\u00a0 No more just up and going out and coming home when you feel like it because there is another person involved in that decision as well.\u00a0 You don\u2019t stop dating your spouse after you say \u201cI Do\u201d, you have to continue to court them just as you want them to do for you.<\/p>\n
Dating someone for an extended period of time does not make you a wife, you\u2019re still just a girlfriend.\u00a0 This man may do everything for you, may take care of you and your children from a previous relationship, gets along with your family and friends, and takes you around his family and friends calling you his \u201clady\u201d but at the end of the day, you are still just a girlfriend.\u00a0 If he is doing so much and says you are his everything, why do you not have a ring on your finger?\u00a0 Why has there not been a commitment to you and this relationship?\u00a0 \u00a0If you both have agreed you don\u2019t want to be married, that\u2019s on you but don\u2019t claim this man as your husband and don\u2019t let him claim you as his wife because you both made the decision not to be married and own the titles.<\/p>\n
Loving someone with your all doesn\u2019t make you a wife, it makes you a loving girlfriend.\u00a0 There are many people who believe until they say \u201cI Do\u201d, they are still single and can, pretty much, do what they want because they are not married.\u00a0 We\u2019ve all been guilty of giving a man husband privileges without actually being a wife.\u00a0 We feel and do so believing if we show him how good we are, he\u2019ll see it and make us his wife.\u00a0 Sorry, Babes, it doesn\u2019t work that way.\u00a0 \u00a0If he is already getting everything a wife has to offer from you without having to commit fully to you, why would he marry you? Loving and doing everything for someone else is not going to make them marry you, they have to be ready and won\u2019t do so until they are.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter if you wash his stinky draws, take care of his momma and family, are able to financially support the both of you, can cook like a high paid chef, sex him like no other ever has, none of this will make a man commit to you unless he\u2019s ready.<\/p>\n
There are some (many) privileges you should save for your husband and only for him because he\u2019s earned the right to them.\u00a0 A boyfriend has done nothing more than earned the right to date you.\u00a0 A boyfriend hasn\u2019t earned the right to have you submitting to him and catering to his every whim, you are only supposed to submit to your husband.\u00a0 Yes, I know that is a touchy word for most women these days but it is a necessary one to learn to understand and embrace.\u00a0 A boyfriend has not earned the privilege of you putting him before your children, he hasn\u2019t even earned the right to be put before you and your wants\/needs.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, we live in a society where marriage is no longer appreciated or respected because it\u2019s easier to get divorced than to actually put in the work to stay married.\u00a0 Spouses are aware of the side pieces and accept it because \u201che\/she comes home to me\u201d.\u00a0 Ummmm\u2026\u2026\u2026..NO! Just because someone may be taking care of the household financially doesn\u2019t give them the right to stray and carry on countless affairs with other people.\u00a0 \u00a0We need to get back to loving and respecting ourselves again so we don\u2019t settle for less than we truly deserve.\u00a0 There may be a good man shortage but that is no excuse to share yours with anyone else.\u00a0 You are far more worthy and deserve fidelity from the one you love.<\/p>\n
Talking about marriage means nothing if you are not engaged and planning a wedding or a ceremony to exchange vows, it\u2019s still just talk.\u00a0 Talking about marriage with no true intent on getting married is like talking about going to a club or event, that\u2019s how general the talk is.\u00a0 Marriage is not general, it\u2019s serious. Marriage is a vow that you take before GOD, your family and friends to be committed to this person for the rest of your life.\u00a0 Yes, I know there are many that believe marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper and those are the same ones willing to walk out on it over something so small as leaving the cap off the toothpaste 1 too many times.\u00a0 Marriage is about compromise with and acceptance of the person you have chosen to spend your life with.\u00a0 When you are married, you become one with your spouse, it is you and them against the world, never you against them.<\/p>\n
There will be times in a marriage when it gets very hard, so hard you\u2019re ready to throw in the towel but you have to remember why you are married in the first place.\u00a0 Marriage is not 50\/50, it\u2019s 100\/100, you give your all to this other person as they do you.\u00a0 Your spouse should be your best friend, the one you share everything with, all the good, bad and ugly, you are sharing your life and inner most feelings and secrets, no one should know you better than your spouse.\u00a0 Being married doesn\u2019t mean you can stop fronting or trying, if you were someone else to get married, it\u2019ll never work because representatives get tired and fade out, revealing the true you.\u00a0 Being married means you are and have someone there to talk to, be silly with, confide in, is your best friend, partner in all aspects of life, to grow and build with.\u00a0 There is no walking out and giving up because it\u2019s a little difficult today.\u00a0 If you are not ready to fully commit to another person, please remain a girlfriend and label yourself as such.<\/p>\n
Marriage is GOD\u2019S ideal, it is why we were created.\u00a0 We were not created to share ourselves with multiple people, giving so much of ourselves we have nothing left over for HIM or ourselves.\u00a0 We were not created to be someone\u2019s eternal girlfriend. I love the idea of marriage, of sharing my life with my partner, growing and building a life together with that one person I vowed to commit and fully open myself to for the rest of my life.\u00a0 While I may no longer be married, I was a wife and took my position very seriously, it just didn\u2019t work.\u00a0 I am not bitter or angry, in fact, the wasband and I are very good friends and have a wonderful co-parenting relationship.\u00a0 The fact my marriage didn\u2019t work hasn\u2019t soured me on the possibility and hopes of, one day, being married again.\u00a0 It\u2019s such a strong commitment and wonderful encounter, I believe everyone should have the opportunity to experience it at least once in their lives.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
How many times have we heard \u201cMy hubby did this or that\u201d or \u201cLook at my wifey doing her thing\u201d and know the 2 are not married?\u00a0 I don\u2019t discredit anyone\u2019s relationship but I do take marriage very seriously.\u00a0 Marriage is a sacred vow between 2 people who love and respect each other and commit … Continue reading “Miss until I Do”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":50,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-49","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-N","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/Miss-until-I-do.jpg?fit=287%2C345&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=49"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":51,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49\/revisions\/51"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/50"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=49"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=49"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=49"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}