From the moment we are born, we are handled by someone else.\u00a0 As we grow and mature, we continue to be handled and told how to act, what to and not to do, what to wear, where to go, and who to date and like. We never think much of it because it is coming from those who love us and have our best interest at heart, therefore, we follow along, abiding by what is told to us.\u00a0 I know the word \u201chandled\u201d is usually used when it comes to celebrities because they always have someone else handling their actions for the betterment of their image and career but it also applies to everyday people just like you and me on a daily basis. Have you picked up a magazine or watched TV lately?\u00a0 They\u2019re flooded with images of what we should look like, eat and how to act on a daily basis.\u00a0 That is a form of handling as well because it\u2019s telling you to lose weight or wear a certain type of clothing to be accepted by others.<\/p>\n
We all need guidance throughout our lives and those who are genuine and truly care will provide us with it.\u00a0 There is a difference between guiding someone and handling them.\u00a0 When you guide someone, you take the time to get to know them, their likes and dislikes and help them improve upon them.\u00a0 When you handle someone, you couldn\u2019t care less about what they do or don\u2019t like, you tell them what to and not to do, regardless of how uncomfortable it may be for them.\u00a0 If someone is comfortable wearing not so revealing clothes, don\u2019t put them in an outfit that makes them look like they should be standing on the corner asking men if they like to party.\u00a0 You may be comfortable showing all of your assets at all times but it can make others feel very self-conscious and exposed.\u00a0 Everyone has their own comfort level and it doesn\u2019t matter if it exceeds or pales in comparison to yours, it\u2019s who they are, let them be themselves.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve all had that one friend who believes we should dress this way, do our hair and make-up as they see fit, even if it isn\u2019t who or how we want to portray ourselves.\u00a0 We abide by their \u2018suggestions\u2019 because we feel they are only saying and doing what\u2019s best for us, they wouldn\u2019t do it if they didn\u2019t care about us, right? Eh, not so much, we are their project.\u00a0 We want acceptance so much we change for them even if it\u2019s not comfortable for us.\u00a0 When you are not free to be and do what feels most comfortable to and for you, you\u2019re being stifled and judged for who you truly are, that\u2019s being \u2018handled\u2019.\u00a0 You become a shell of someone you may not even recognize but never speak up because they want and know what\u2019s best for you, right? WRONG!<\/p>\n
This handling didn\u2019t start with friends or a job, it started with our parents.\u00a0 No, you can\u2019t blame them, they did what they felt was best for you because you literally didn\u2019t know any different.\u00a0 From the moment you take your first breath, you are told what religion and race you are, what to do, how to act, etc. and if you act differently than they believe you should, you get in trouble and chastised.\u00a0 It\u2019s sad, really, when you can\u2019t be on the outside who you actually know you are on the inside for fear of being punished or not accepted. \u00a0We bend and contort our personalities to conform to the image others have of who they want to be around.\u00a0 The reality is, the ones who don\u2019t let you be who you truly are at your core aren\u2019t your friends. How can they be your friend if they don\u2019t accept and constantly try to change who you truly are?\u00a0 When we don\u2019t receive that acceptance, we look in the mirror and believe it\u2019s something wrong with us, wondering why they don\u2019t like us and do what we feel we need to in order to be liked.\u00a0 \u00a0Sweetie, there\u2019s nothing wrong with you at all, it usually the insecurities within those around you where they don\u2019t feel complete unless they\u2019re controlling someone else\u2019s actions.<\/p>\n
Marriage is another relationship in which we are handled.\u00a0 You may despise your in laws but act a certain way to keep the peace within your own household.\u00a0 If you speak out of turn or tell someone how you truly feel, it\u2019s not accepted because that is not who they feel is right for their son.\u00a0 The reality here is you married, plan to raise a family and build a life with him, not his family.\u00a0 Do you have to play nice every now and then? You sure do but you don\u2019t have to be stifled and accept disrespect from those who live in glass houses.\u00a0 No one walking this earth is perfect and no amount of bending to the whims of another will make you perfect, we\u2019re all flawed but it\u2019s easier to point out another\u2019s flaws than to look in the mirror and recognize our own.<\/p>\n
You were not put here to be who anyone else tells you to be, you are a child and creation of GOD and HE doesn\u2019t make mistakes.\u00a0 Be true to yourself, do what you like and feel is best for you and the people who share the same mindset as you will find you.\u00a0 If you were raised as one religion but don\u2019t feel it applies to who and how you are today, it\u2019s okay to explore other religions to find one that fits.\u00a0 Even if you don\u2019t find one that fits and choose to stick with your own religion, you haven\u2019t lost anything, in fact, you\u2019ve gained knowledge of other religious practices. If you\u2019ve never worn make-up and connect with those who do, continue to let your natural beauty shine.\u00a0 If you like to go out, drink and have a good time but associate with those who just sit there and look pretty, associate with more like-minded people. You\u2019ve been through a lot in your life, we all have, take the time to get to know who you truly are and embrace her, she\u2019s been waiting for you, she\u2019s been held down and suppressed for way too long.\u00a0 Never dim your shine to appease anyone else, if they can\u2019t love and accept you at 100%, they don\u2019t deserve you.<\/p>\n
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