{"id":590,"date":"2018-12-17T23:01:35","date_gmt":"2018-12-18T04:01:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=590"},"modified":"2018-12-17T23:02:41","modified_gmt":"2018-12-18T04:02:41","slug":"590","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2018\/12\/17\/590\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Courting"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

As I sit here doing what has become my new pastime of spinning my grandmother\u2019s wedding ring on my necklace, it makes me realize how much simpler things were in those days. My Nana\u2019s ring is not the biggest, fanciest diamond by a long shot but the size is not what makes it preciously priceless. What gives this ring its character is what it stood for with my grandparents: loyalty, commitment, respect, dedication,faithfulness, and genuine, unconditional love. I learned what courting was from my Nana, she told me how she and my Granddaddy courted for 11 years prior to saying \u201cI Do\u201d and they were married for another 60 years until he passed away; even after his death, he was all she spoke and thought of. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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She stood by his side while he went to college and gained 2 degrees with one of them being a Master\u2019s in education. He was her man and her everything just as she was his woman and world. She was his backbone and supported him thru 2 stints in college and his partner thru life. We live in a sad day and time when it\u2019s easier to find a freckled unicorn than to find this type of dedication and devotion. We have become of the mindset of instant gratification and lack of desire to even put forth any effort to actually be with someone mentality. Ugh<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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In my last post, I said I wasn\u2019t going to tell what \u2018courting\u2019 was because I was closed minded enough to think that everyone already knew what it consisted of; I just thought they just didn\u2019t care to utilize it. I was fortunate to grow up around people who courted and were courted; it was common place in my existence. However, I learned from a coworker that everyone wasn\u2019t as fortunate to witness or even learn what courting consists of, he was raised by a single mom who was of the mindset of I can do bad all by myself<\/em> and never let anyone close enough to her to even attempt to court her, she shut herself off to any possibility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Unfortunately, there are way too many people with this toxic, unhealthy mentality, they\u2019d rather be alone and never experience love and happiness because they don\u2019t want to get hurt or feel as though their time has been wasted. How will you ever know what may or may not happen if you don\u2019t open your mind and heart to the possibility of what could be? If it doesn\u2019t work, take the lesson, grow from it and move on with a healthier mindset, soul and heart. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let me clear up a misconception really quick: courting and dating are not one in the same although you will date while courting someone, going on a date doesn\u2019t equal courting. When you decide to court someone, there is a purpose and life goal behind it, you know this is the person you want to build and spend the rest of your life with, you focus solely on them and don\u2019t entertain THOTs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Courting someone is being present when you\u2019re with them, making time for them, getting to know them at their core, asking questions to learn about their childhood which ultimately shaped the person sitting in front of you, communicating with them throughout the day regardless of how busy both of you may be, and sitting on the couch and being content with just bingeing corny movies. Courting does not consist of having your noses in your phones while you\u2019re out to dinner, having sex with other people because you don\u2019t want to seem too easy or eager to have sex with them, making time for your friends and partying instead of them, or entertaining other people. If the latter are things you want to do, go ahead but don\u2019t tie that person to you when you\u2019re not as serious or in the same place as them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this day and age of social media, online dating, communicating and even breaking up, it\u2019s easier not to put forth the effort but I was always taught that anything worth having was worth working for. On any given day at any given hour, you can scroll thru your social media and see asses, boobs, and penis imprints in sweatpants, both genders are guilty of shedding their dignity for likes. Being one who\u2019s never considered online dating and seen more episodes of Catfish \u00ae than I care to admit, I don\u2019t get the whole online dating saga currently sweeping society. Basically, all you have to do is have a good looking profile picture, don\u2019t worry if you don\u2019t have one of yourself, pick a random hot person and use their face since you just want attention based off shallowness; a witty write up about yourself, don\u2019t worry about telling the truth, this situationship isn\u2019t going to last long enough for them to find out you lied; and since you\u2019re swiping left and right,you\u2019ll have something to do on your nights out instead of actually interacting with other people. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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At this point, people are only going out for a meal to get laid, there is no other effort put forth in getting to know someone because they think they know you from what you post on social media. I can understand how some might think they know others since there are those who put their whole life story on the internet but those who still have their dignity and self-respect don\u2019t share any real shit about their lives. The reality is this, you can date 3-5 people at one time and have no connection whatsoever except sex or similar tastes in music or movies and that doesn\u2019t make a partner, that is a friend with benefits or hanging buddy. If we are lucky, we will come across that one who makes us want to be a better human being and raise our standards so we can be everything they could ever want or need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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When you meet that one who takes your breath away, you\u2019ll feel it in your soul, it will be unlike anything you\u2019ve ever experienced and will probably make you want to put your guard up and run for the hills screaming since it\u2019s so unfamiliar. But the way the universe works at connecting souls, that guard won\u2019t come up, you\u2019ll feel drawn to them and as though you\u2019ve known them your entire life even though you just met them moments ago because the souls have known each other since they were created. Where this connection takes place may not always be deemed as the most ideal spot and that\u2019s why they tend to be dismissed as such; people are ashamed to say they met the love of their life in a club or even the gas station but if that\u2019s where your souls were supposed to cross to connect, embrace it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I\u2019m learning more and more that guys either don\u2019t care or simply don\u2019t know how to woo a woman because they\u2019re used to dealing with biologically grown girls<\/strong>. A guy believes because he offers to buy you a spirited beverage or few that he\u2019s bought your time for the night and I\u2019m sorry to be the one to break it to you but that\u2019s a form of prostitution because you\u2019re exchanging goods for company. You could spend your entire paycheck on a female and not even receive her phone number in return and go home broke and alone while developing resentment towards all women based on that one individual who doesn\u2019t represent the rest of us. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

People have been so damaged by other human beings that they\u2019d rather be cold and not try because they believe every person who they have interest in will hurt them again. Guys will complain there are no good women out here but that\u2019s because they\u2019re stuck on what they deem would be a good woman while drooling over some random, big\/fake ass female twerking in videos on social media.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Trust me, fellas, you\u2019re not going to find a grown ass woman who respects herself showing her body all over the internet to gain likes and attention. And ladies, I hear the complaints all the time that there are no good men out here, how about you stop calling the true men corny and making fun of them for being a gentleman? The guys in those groups showing their packages and offering to send videos of him playing with himself to whomever likes his status are not the \u2018good guys\u2019 you\u2019re seeking. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Both genders need to do better and leave something to the imagination when it comes to our appearance and character, I can\u2019t even put it on one or the other, both sides are equally as guilty. Ladies, let these men be men and woo you the proper way,don\u2019t clown him for bringing you flowers or taking you on a picnic because you\u2019re only damaging him for the next one who would\u2019ve appreciated it. And guys,please stop making us average figured women feel as though if we don\u2019t have a donkey ass while wearing next to nothing we aren\u2019t worthy of your time and attention.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are good men and women out here willing to give you the world and you\u2019d see them if you weren\u2019t so busy blowing them off for not having the hottest sneakers or phattest ass in the room. There is someone for everyone but only one per person, get rid of the side pieces and stop giving someone outside of your Boo your time and attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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If you know you\u2019re not serious about building with someone, don\u2019t waste their time, we\u2019re too old for this childish high school mentality and way of treating others.  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I sit here doing what has become my new pastime of spinning my grandmother\u2019s wedding ring on my necklace, it makes me realize how much simpler things were in those days. My Nana\u2019s ring is not the biggest, fanciest diamond by a long shot but the size is not what makes it preciously priceless. … Continue reading “The Art of Courting”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":597,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-590","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s7va7x-590","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/courting-e1545105517286.jpg?fit=236%2C236&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/590","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=590"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/590\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":598,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/590\/revisions\/598"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/597"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=590"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=590"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=590"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}