{"id":973,"date":"2022-01-05T20:51:53","date_gmt":"2022-01-06T01:51:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/?p=973"},"modified":"2022-01-05T20:51:56","modified_gmt":"2022-01-06T01:51:56","slug":"realizations-re-evaluating-and-revelations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/2022\/01\/05\/realizations-re-evaluating-and-revelations\/","title":{"rendered":"Realizations, re-evaluating, and revelations"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Hey, Hey, my lovelies! Yup, we did it, we made it to another year, yay us, right? After the last two New Years, I\u2019m feeling just as leery of this one as the rest of you but<\/strong>, as with last year, I have hope this one won\u2019t be the same shit show of the last two. I mean, we have more lenient outside privileges, right? Wait, that\u2019s not necessarily a positive because the ones who didn\u2019t know how to act in the beginning are recruiting more idiots, shit. I tend to be an optimist and look at the glass as half full but the last 22 months have caused me to continue to fill that glass with wine and drink it only to refill to get back to my half full glass and then I drink that and just keep refilling until I\u2019m nice, buzzed and couldn\u2019t care less because I keep my ass in the house and away from stupidity because, apparently, it\u2019s contagious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Olivia<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I always say how I don\u2019t make resolutions at the turn of a new year and it’s because I know myself and the one way to make sure I don\u2019t <\/strong>do something is to write it down. I don\u2019t have commitment issues, I just really don\u2019t like being told what to do, that\u2019s the Aries in me. While I don\u2019t make resolutions, as an overthinker with nothing but time on my hands, I have taken the time to sit with myself and re-evaluate quite a bit of shit in my life lately and how I want to move forward. When we enter a new year, it\u2019s a clean slate of sorts, a blank canvas to create the life we truly want and deserve to live. Go grab your favorite spirited beverage and relax while I share a few of the ways I\u2019ll be living the best life I know for myself at this point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"YARN<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

During 2021, I began to find and use my voice, well, I knew it was there but still had fear of using it to the capacity I was blessed with. For most of my life and too many relationships, I remained silent even though I was breaking inside all out of fear of offending the other person and having them no longer speak to or leave me. I have come to learn I was doing a disservice to us both at that point because they didn\u2019t know what an absolute asshole they were and I lost my entire sense of self all to appease someone who didn\u2019t respect me enough to value what I had to say. I am no longer remaining silent when I don\u2019t like an approach or any sort of aggression towards me, I have learned to move past the fear and knee jerk instinct to regress to a 5-year-old being chastised by their parent. Now, don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m not out here looking for an argument and don\u2019t raise my voice because Queens don\u2019t need to get loud to make their point and stance clear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Rihanna<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

One of the most important things I am doing in my life from this moment on is setting firm and clear boundaries. In the past, I called myself setting boundaries by merely ghosting people because I didn\u2019t own that \u201cNo<\/em>\u201d is a complete sentence. In speaking with a friend the other day, they shared how they were going to just say \u201cNo<\/em>\u201d if asked to do something and I had such respect and admiration for this individual because I have envied that ability for so long. I have a tendency to attempt to say \u201cNo<\/em>\u201d with a lengthy (sometimes bullshit) explanation as to why I can\u2019t do something and still end up doing it because I don’t want to make someone else feel some kind of way. I appreciate this person because they helped me understand that I don\u2019t owe anyone anything as to why I\u2019m not doing something. Again, Queen level shit and energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Wedding<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t until I met coworker recently did I realize I tend to come off very judgmental. Yes, it\u2019s taken a minute but I got a rude awakening by them as they were merely a mirror of myself and I didn\u2019t like what I saw at all. This interaction was proof to me that GOD and the universe bring people into your life to shake the shit out of you for you to get it together. This is going to take quite a bit of conscious effort on my part because I am a very \u2018particular\u2019 person in most aspects of life. The bright spot for me is that this other person is not only judgmental but very close minded and didn\u2019t take it too well when I used my voice to share such. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Its<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

While I may seem to come off as judgmental, I am open minded and willing to see things from a different perspective. I now understand everyone, hell, very few, think the way I do but that\u2019s not a bad thing because we\u2019re snowflakes. Now, don\u2019t get it twisted, there are some actions which will still get a side eye from me, some shit will never change such as: females who drink beer from the bottle or people who get loud and indignant in public places or those who are married\/in a committed relationship and decide to stick their peen in or spread their legs for someone other than their Boo. I will maintain my composure when I see females my age with quite a few extra pounds stuffed into clothes from Forever21 \u00ae to garner the attention of men or the males who use the same tired ass lines on female after female in an attempt to get their dang-a-lang wet that night. Ooops, shit, was that judgmental? I\u2019m still a work in progress, told y\u2019all it\u2019s not easy, I just ask you show me some grace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"New<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Probably the hardest issue for me to work on is the overthinking. If you are not an overthinker, you\u2019ve no idea how exhausting this shit can truly be and it fuels my indecisiveness because I feel as though I have to run thru every single scenario to make a decision. Yeah, I\u2019m a joy to take to a restaurant with a hefty menu. I have come to realize that if I keep thinking about the \u2018what ifs\u2019 in life, I\u2019ll never see what can actually be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"The<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

There have been many opportunities I\u2019m sure I\u2019ve missed out on because I overthought to the point I come up with a nearly impossible outcome and that ended with 2021. I won\u2019t be doing anything as spontaneous as jumping out of an airplane, I\u2019m still extremely cautious but I will be stepping outside of my box and experiencing life as it was meant to be lived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One thing I am no longer tolerating in my life is toxic relationships and I don\u2019t care if you\u2019re family, friend, lover, or coworker, if you bring bullshit to me, you gots to go! This Queen doesn\u2019t have the tolerance, patience or energy for drama, we\u2019re too old to still be acting like we\u2019re in high school, I just can\u2019t and won’t anymore. I know we won\u2019t always agree on everything but if we can\u2019t have a mature discussion about it, you don\u2019t need to be in my space because this is where grown folks exist, take that nonsense back to the school yard with the children who of are your mental age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"London<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

On the very last day of 2021, we lost an iconic angel, Ms. Betty White. She was admired, respected and adored by millions of people because she was authentic, genuine, and kind to everyone. The one thing I admire most about her is that she lived her life and career on her terms, regardless of how others believed she should. I learned, upon her passing, that when she had her own variety show in 1954, she had a Black tap dancer by the name of Arthur Duncan on her show and her producers attempted to bully her into removing him from the show simply because he was Black. Ms. White pretty much gave them the finger by giving him even more air time because she wouldn\u2019t let her morals be compromised for a check which spoke volumes about her character. There is an old adage that goes \u201cIf you don\u2019t stand for something, you\u2019ll fall for anything<\/em>\u201d and she stood tall and proud for integrity, equality, and justice. In a world full of Karens, be a Betty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Latest<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

If you are able to find it in your heart, I ask that you pay homage to the late, great Ms. Betty White and take supplies such as food, toys, litter, and\/or towels to your nearest animal shelter as she was a huge animal lover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With tweaks and understandings of myself, my best life is continuing to load and I\u2019m embracing the fact that 50 isn\u2019t coming with a filter. Be the greatest version of yourselves, my lovelies, as you only have one life to live and should do it on your terms!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"GIF<\/figure><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hey, Hey, my lovelies! Yup, we did it, we made it to another year, yay us, right? After the last two New Years, I\u2019m feeling just as leery of this one as the rest of you but, as with last year, I have hope this one won\u2019t be the same shit show of the last … Continue reading “Realizations, re-evaluating, and revelations”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":978,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-973","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7va7x-fH","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/grownwomanflow.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Revelation-quotw-e1641433327525.jpg?fit=250%2C250&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/973","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=973"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/973\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":981,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/973\/revisions\/981"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/978"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=973"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=973"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grownwomanflow.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=973"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}