We are all aware of the supposed most romantic day of the year which is rapidly approaching: VALENTINE’S DAY. We began being reminded of this two whole days after Christmas, some stores didn’t even wait until after Christmas to begin putting out all the heart shaped chocolate boxes, over sized teddy bears, jewelry specials and overdone red décor with cupid’s chubby butt hanging from the ceiling. 
Personally? I couldn’t possibly care less about Valentine’s Day and it doesn’t matter whether I’m single or in a relationship, it’s just another day on the calendar to me. Who are the greeting card people, florist and chocolate makers to tell you how and when to show your love and adoration for someone else? And, why should you wait for this one day out of 365 to show your love? Never made much sense to me.
The lack of enthusiasm for the ‘specialness’ of this one day didn’t begin when I became single, I felt the same way when I was married. My former spouse, affectionately referred to by me as ‘the wasband’, and I agreed if we weren’t showing love, adoration, affection and romance throughout the year, one day wouldn’t make the difference in our relationship. In fact, if that was the ONLY day we exhibited any of those traits, our relationship was in deeper doo-doo than we were aware. Even though our relationship didn’t last, lack of romance was not the key factor in the demise of it.
Romantic gestures aren’t always of a financial or materialistic nature. When you’re in a relationship, that good morning/good night text is a gesture so many overlook as being romantic. In a marriage, picking up your dirty draws off the floor and actually putting them IN the laundry basket means more than some chocolate. And if you actually wash, dry and fold an entire load of laundry without turning everything pink?! My heart’s aflutter with passion!
A woman taking her man out to dinner on a Tuesday and picking up the check is another gesture too few do on any kind of basis. When our girls were younger, the wasband doing the nightly ritual of bathing and putting them in bed so I could relax touched my heart and meant more than some fancy meal at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day. Either washing and vacuuming out my vehicle or taking it to get detailed is yet another gesture of love and appreciation. Again, it’s the little things which mean the most in the game of love.
When you are single, this made up holiday can make you feel lonely and unwanted because all you see everywhere is couples looking so happy in love. You try to casually scroll thru social media and there are constant ads reminding you that you won’t be receiving any chocolate or flowers in a few days. 
To those in relationships, you have high expectations of your Boo doing something uber exciting, romantic and fabulous on that one day. For those providing the services, there is so much pressure shown via social media, tv and magazines, you want to make sure to spend and be creative enough to measure up to the hype of a fictional holiday. Yes, I called it a fictional holiday because we don’t get the day off work, children still go to school, therefore, it’s not a holiday. For 364 days of the year, there’s so much emphasis on learning to love ourselves but on this one day it’s about proving your love to another and lavishing then with gifts. 
Forget about yourself on February 14th, it’s all about another person and how much you spend is supposed to show how much you care.
I probably sound like a curmudgeon about love and romance but, in reality, I’m actually the sappiest and mushiest person you’ll ever meet when it comes to it. I just don’t like or agree with Valentine’s Day being dictated as the only day to show your love. Where’s all the romantic candies, jewelry and lingerie on August 12th? What’s wrong with sending/receiving flowers or even just a single rose simply because it’s Tuesday and you were on their mind? 
Ever sent a card to your Boo’s job? Think about it, they’re sitting at work and go to check their mail slot, anticipating nothing more than junk flyers about seminars and there’s a handwritten envelope with their name on it with a card inside from you letting them know you are thinking of them. Yes, this is what I did for my wasband when we were married; I’d go and get a handful of the $.99 cards and spread them out over the month so he’d be surprised all the time. 
See? Sappy and I don’t even care, I embrace this quality about myself and welcome it with open arms and you should too. Never let someone make you feel corny for showing someone you care about them, it doesn’t make you look weak and, more importantly, it’s not about them.
Now that I’m single, I am not fazed by this one day, nor am I fretting and walking around moping because I don’t have a Boo to lavish roses and candies on me. I don’t sweat this day because I have no problem doing for myself. Now, some men will read that and believe I feel I’m one of those new-fangled independent women who claim they don’t need a man for sh*t, refusing to even let him hold the door for her to walk into a store or restaurant. HA! That’s so not me! When I am in a relationship or dating someone, I expect those doors to be opened for me, it’s how I was raised and what I demand. 
Again, something so small which makes a huge difference. Please understand, though, opening doors for a woman is more of a show of respect than a romantic gesture. If you’re only holding those doors open in an attempt to get laid, there’s nothing romantic about the reasoning behind it and doesn’t guarantee sex.
Now that that’s cleared up, let me get back to how I will and do spoil myself and why it’s so crucial I feel others should do the same. Before I had a cat who would eat them, I bought myself flowers on a regular basis because I like looking at them and they make me smile. I still buy flowers occasionally, now I just place them really high and inconvenient for the petal eater to get to but still in my constant line of sight. If I’ve had a long day or just want to feel pampered, I draw myself a nice bath with some bubbles and essential oils, light some candles and play soft music as I soak with a nice glass of wine and relax. 
If I want some chocolate, I’m going to get myself some chocolate, not wait on someone else to think of me and get it for me. Do I enjoy having a Boo do these things for me? Sure I do, who doesn’t? I just know I am fully capable of loving myself and refuse to let one made up holiday get me down because I don’t currently have anyone filling that role right now.
No matter your romantic situation at the moment, don’t let the pressures of that one day stress and depress you, making you feel you somehow inferior due to the standards of the greeting card industry. No one can dictate what romance is to you because what makes me smile may piss you off and hold no emotional value, we’re all different. Keep doing for yourself and those you love every single day of the year, don’t wait until you see the cherub once a year to attempt to put forth some effort. Oh, wait, there is something I do like and appreciate about Valentine’s Day: 75% off of all the candy on February 15th!
See you on the clearance aisle next Wednesday, I’ll be the one with the cart full heart shaped clearance items!
