By now, everyone has been quarantined for at least a week. Some of us are stuck in the house with our school aged children and trying to be their teachers all while losing our shit and appreciating teachers so much that we will be organizing marches to get them higher wages because we just aren’t cut out for this life. Others are stuck in the house alone and developing serious drinking habits because there is literally nothing else to do but get lit alone and binge watch television shows.
Then, you have the spouses who have side pieces they can’t get to because everything is closed and there is no reason to leave the house so they feel stuck with the person they committed their lives to until death do they part. This pandemic is either going to bring couples, actual couples, closer or cause the demise of the entire relationship because they’re now realizing their partner is no longer the person they married and they don’t even like them anymore. For the record, I am the one who has been home alone as I work with 3 cats constantly fighting, playing, and getting into shit while I strengthen my liver with the daily cocktail or few.
I am fortunate not to have wee little ones in the house during this quarantine but I know several people who want their ‘students’ transferred out of their class and have developed a little drinking habit at this point. Yes, I understand that it’s a blessing to be able to have this time to spend with your children but, we can all agree it can be a bit much when you’re required to stay in the house for days, weeks and, at this point, months on end. Trust me, I feel the pain of the parents home with their little ones during this time because I was trapped in the house with a 6 & 8 years ago during the blizzard of 2010 and truly couldn’t go anywhere even if I wanted to because the 2+ feet of snow wouldn’t allow it.
I took that time to get to know my girls, play games with them, teach them how to bake and cook and I am so thankful I didn’t have to home school them because they’d have failed horribly! I say this because I had trouble with the homework they brought home on a regular basis and am so grateful for the other half of their DNA being a little nerdish and able to assist them. When they brought homework home, there were times I had to put a sticky note on it saying, “Name’s homework is incomplete because her mother couldn’t figure out how to help her complete it”.
Yes, it got that bad but there was no shame in my game after staring at a worksheet and feeling my brain come to a screeching halt. To the parents who are at home and teaching your children during this time? I tip my hat and raise a glass to you because you are true heroes during this pandemic and I wish you nothing but strength and patience. Be sure to shower your children’s teachers with gifts once school resumes because they are so worthy of it!
For the single people who are home alone this can also be a trying time because we still need and miss that human interaction with others. It wasn’t until this happened did I realize how much I went out and now miss hearing, “Can I get you started with some drinks and appetizers while you look at the menu”? While I am blessed with the ability to cook some absolutely fabulous food, I want food prepared by other people, I’m tired of my having to cook my own food! I have been quarantined with 3 cats who are absolutely and entirely sick of my shit at this point. It’s not just the food prepared by others I miss, it’s the constant companionship I miss. I miss being able to have someone here to joke with, get irritated with and then go to sleep in their arms.
While I am proud to say that my home is clean from top to bottom because I’ve had nothing but time on my hands to clean it; all of my clothes are clean, folded and put away, and I have a fully stocked fridge and freezer, it doesn’t replace the companionship. While I may have my work station set up to work remotely, a roof over my head and food in my belly (that I have to cook), it still kind of sucks not to have that person to cook for and hold you at night. I have not even turned on Netflix® because I don’t have anyone to talk to during the movies and shows; yes, I am that person who talks during movies and shows because I need to know what’s going on.
For my single folx, hang in there, this ban will soon be lifted and we’ll be able to be in the arms of those who make us feel safe and secure.
Onto my married people! When I was married, while I loved my husband, I probably would have been sporting an orange jumpsuit at this point. Yes, we marry people we love, care about and believe we’re going to spend the rest of our lives with, and that is a great mentality, it truly is……..until you’re quarantined for weeks and months on end. When you’re stuck in the house with this person, you’ll get irritated at the smallest things such as how they chew their food or hearing them breathe while they’re just sitting still watching reruns of football or basketball games since those seasons are now suspended.
This is a trying time for all marriages out there and while some may actually result in coming out of this single, others will come out pregnant. Some will take this time to work on their marriage and relearn their partner and others will realize how much they have grown apart from their partner, it’s a 50/50 shot which none of us on the outside can predict. I’ve learned and witnessed that absence makes the heart grow fonder and for most, that was when they were working and out of the house and each other’s sight for 10 – 12 hours per day but what do you do when the only break you get is when they go to the bathroom? For my married folx, I offer the suggestion of relearning your spouse, yourself and where you both stand in the union you both committed yourself to many moons ago.
Now for the most interesting aspect of this quarantine: Side Pieces! There are some people who didn’t know they were the side piece until this pandemic hit and they weren’t able to see their supposed Boo at all because everything closed down and learned the hard way they weren’t the main person in their Boo’s life. On the flip side of that, you have the people who knew they were intruding in on someone’s marriage and are now struggling because there is no legitimate reason for them to leave their home with their spouse. Having been a wife, I have a problem with someone who is okay with cheating with a married man, this is not a secret. I see how side pieces are now more glorified than the spouse and I can’t understand that mentality. If you are not happy within your union, try counseling to get back on the same page and if that doesn’t work, make the collective decision to go your separate ways and then find someone else to be with. If you are a side piece, what are your hopes from that situation?
Okay, yes, that’s probably the primary focus and objective but when you become the main, what makes you think they won’t do the exact same thing to you that they did to their spouse? And, if you do become the main, what kind of prize are you getting? This person will have nothing when they come to you because I’m sure they won’t get the house and will have to pay some sort of spousal support due to their infidelity, leaving you to foot most of the financial responsibilities of your life together. You spend all of your time being dedicated and loyal to someone who sleeps every night next to the one they committed their life to in the hopes of one day becoming the one they sleep next to. This would be the perfect time to look in the mirror and realize you deserve so much more than being someone’s second best. Take this time to love yourself enough to not settle for having to spend holidays, your birthday and evenings alone because the person you believe you love is at home with their spouse eating dinner and being romantic.
At this point, we are all on what feels like punishment but we can use it for our betterment and good. If you’ve been meaning to start a new workout regimen to get summer ready, take a daily walk and do some sort of exercise in your house; if you’ve been meaning to start a new hobby, you’ve nothing but time on your hands to perfect it; if you’re not happy with your romantic situation or it’s not ideal, take control of the situation by showering yourself in self-love and realizing you deserve so much more than being someone’s second choice.
I think I speak for the rest of the nation when I say, “Sit yo ass down and be mindful so we can go outside again”!
