We all get older, it’s the natural course life takes. However, just because you’re gaining years doesn’t necessarily mean you’re maturing. When all you’re doing is growing older yet keeping your childish ways, you’re viewed as a girl, not a grown woman. You can tell a grown woman by the way she handles herself, children and business. The grown woman doesn’t need to be loud and obnoxious to be seen, her confidence and class keep a bright glow around her, she stands out amid the sea of loud, ratchet females. Trust me, you’ll see and notice her if she’s there and you won’t even have to look hard. You don’t need to physically see her crown to know it’s there.
I was blessed to grow up with role models such as Clair Huxtable.
Although she may have been a fictional character, she embodied what a woman should be and reminded me of my own mother. She carried herself with grace, class and dignity at all times. When she got upset, she didn’t holler and use every explicit word known to man, her tone got firm as she proceeded to eloquently make her point all while letting you know she meant every word she spoke. 
She worked a full time job and still doted on her children and husband with nurturing love and respect.
I’m very grateful my daughters had Michelle Obama as their role model of a strong woman who handled the stresses of being the public eye with style and grace all while being a mother to her daughters and wife to the President of the United States. She’s a woman who knows when to be serious and when she can be silly and enjoy herself and family. 
Until Michelle, recent generations didn’t have a role model to look up to, no one to embody what a classy woman truly was. With the lack of role models, these girls raised themselves and each other based on the ever increasing trashiness displayed on social media and ratchetness on reality shows. I mean, seriously, one of the most ‘famous’ females in pop culture is only famous because of her sex tape, she has no actual talent but has her own show making millions of dollars. Within one generational time span, we went from the majority of females who dressed with class and sophistication to painted on clothing, butt injections and ridiculous weaves with most aspiring to be twerking strippers as a career choice. 
We all go thru phases of our lives when we’re girls and not women, it’s a growth period. I’ve been the indignant customer, speaking with a stank tone to wait staff because I wasn’t in a good mood and decided to take it out on the least suspecting person. In no way am I proud of my behavior but glad I made it thru that particular phase to make it over to this side of grown-ness. It’s a process many fight and resist because growth isn’t always comfortable. Here’s my question: when a 50 year old woman causes a scene and gets loud and ratchet with another female for basically existing, is that not more uncomfortable than growth? 
Personally, being in the same vicinity and having to witness it is uncomfortable for me, can’t imagine what it’s like for those who are out with that 50 year old girl.
A woman takes care of herself, family and man, usually putting her family’s needs before her very own. A woman doesn’t get a man and always expect and damn near demand what he’s doing for her even though she’s not doing anything more than giving him Pillow Princess sex a couple times a month. A girl believes it’s all about her all the time, never taking time or consideration of someone else’s needs but her own. A grown woman cooks meals on a regular basis in her kitchen. 
Yes, there will be days/nights when you just don’t feel like cooking and order carry-out and that’s fine, just as long as it’s not every single day. I would never label myself a chef but I have the capability of throwing down in the kitchen because a grown woman raised me to do so. A girl will expect her man to take her out every day and night or even cook for her all the time because she more or less refuses to cook at all. Honey, not many of us feel like making a home cooked meal all the time but we do it because it’s what’s best for our family.
A grown woman knows that she doesn’t have to have her butt cheeks hanging out of the bottom of her skirt, boobs popping out of her shirt, and stripper shoes on to be acknowledged as sexy. 
When a grown woman dresses up, she puts thought into every aspect of her entire ensemble, ensuring each piece compliments the other. A woman attending an adult affair dons a dress which compliments her figure without looking as though she should be standing on the corner accepting offers to ‘party’, subtle make-up accenting her greatest features without looking like paint thinner is required to remove it. Her shoes may be stilettos but they’re not clear stripper heels, and her choice of fragrance is subtle but noticeable and doesn’t make your eyes water when she passes by. A woman doesn’t need to say a word when she enters an event, her confidence speaks louder than someone announcing her entry over a microphone.Have you ever had a disagreement with someone and they stomp away like someone just stole their bike? This same person will have beef with you and take every opportunity given to have your name in their mouth talking trash about you. She will hold a grudge against you and give you the stank eye each time you’re in her presence like it’s going to crush your world.
You guessed it, this is girl behavior because a woman will make an effort to discuss whatever the issue is to squash the negativity. There won’t always be resolution to every situation because when you’re grown and dealing with a girl, you’re on two different levels and their childish behavior will be prevent it. A grown woman will walk away from this situation with her head held high and continue to live her life and do for herself and family, praying for the person who is stuck on something so very insignificant and irrelevant to her overall well-being and peace of mind.
A girl will be the flyest thing in the club with her new weave, lashes, nails, dress and shoes, toting her $900 purse while her lights, gas and/or water have been cut off due to non-payment. 
Whereas a grown woman will sit in her home, sipping her wine in some comfy jammies watching TV in her well air conditioned or heated house instead of hitting the bar scene just to be seen. Everyone loves to have a good time hanging out, having a few drinks, and socializing with friends but it’s not always in the budget. There will be times you encounter an unexpected bill or a friend/family member who needs help financially and, if you respect this instead of shucking the responsibility to get drunk? Congratulations, you’re a grown woman, no longer a girl.
Grown women are mothers while girls are proud to be called Baby Mommas. Mothers have a civil relationship with the other half of their child’s/children’s DNA because they have the understanding it’s not about them, it’s about what’s best for their children. Baby Mommas are the ones who will key their child’s father’s car because she saw him with another female, always speaking down to him or make it harder for him to spend time with their child/children because he’s not spending time with her. 
Social media is not the place to air your dirty laundry and torrid affairs, a grown woman knows, understands and respects this. She will utilize her social media platform to grow her business and encourage others with drama free, inspirational quotes or funny memes. The girl is the one who thinks social media is the platform to tell everyone what her Baby Daddy did or didn’t do, call him a shiftless Negro and reel in other small minded girls to get sympathy and people to join in bashing him. 
The commenters may not even know him but will still call him out of his name and stroke her ego while bashing their own Baby Daddies.
The most unfortunate aspect of all of this is the fact not everyone will become grown in their lifetime, they’re too content with being loud, ratchet, ignorant and ghetto filled. To those of us who are grown women, understand you’re never done growing and will encounter rough periods to grow you more, don’t fight it, embrace it because it takes some rain to make a flower grow. Bloom on my lovlies!