Today is the day we celebrate our mothers by showering them with cards, gifts, flowers and a meal of sorts, whether it’s breakfast in bed or a trip to a restaurant to celebrate her fabulousness. I am a mother to 2 beautiful teenage daughters and 3 cats but feel mother’s day is every day. Where are the cards and flowers after the numerous nights of us getting up with sick children and struggling to go into the workforce and do a job for 8 hours after getting little to no sleep? 
Where are the special meals for us when we’re sick but still provide all of our children’s needs throughout the year without complaint? Where’s our jewelry when we mourn the loss of our child either to death or just moving out and on with their own lives? All we do cannot be summed up in just one day of pampering because it is a 24/7 job we receive no financial pay for but relish the rewards we receive from seeing the smiles on our children’s faces and watching them grow into successful, respectful and responsible adults.
This day originally started with the tradition of returning to one’s “mother church” on the 4th Sunday of Lent, then moved to “Mothers’ Day Work Clubs” to teach local women how to properly care for their children. Years later, it became “Mothers’ Friendship Day,” at which mothers gathered with former Union and Confederate soldiers to promote reconciliation. In 1905, after the death of her mother, Ann Jarvis conceived of Mother’s Day as a way of honoring the sacrifices mothers made for their children. She had originally conceived of Mother’s Day as a day of personal celebration between mothers and families. Her version of the day involved wearing a white carnation as a badge and visiting one’s mother or attending church services. But once Mother’s Day became a national holiday, it was not long before florists, card companies and other merchants capitalized on its popularity.
We are mothers every day of our lives, regardless if our children have grown up and left the nest or gotten their wings to sit alongside our Heavenly Father. I am honored to be acknowledged on this day but, like Valentine’s Day, I believe it’s become too commercialized and is something which should be acknowledged every day of the year, not just when Hallmark® tells you to buy your mom a card and flowers. Is a mother not worthy of flowers on a Tuesday due to all she does each and every day? 
A mother is a mother regardless if she is sick or tired, she does what she does for the betterment of her children each and every day. The laundry doesn’t just get washed today nor do my children only eat one day a year, why should we not be celebrated each and every day?
Just like the aforementioned V-Day being a hard day to get thru when you’re single or suffering a heartbreak, this holiday is hard on those who’ve lost their mother and see others celebrating with theirs who are still here. I have not lost my mother but I have lost a parent and Father’s Day will be extremely hard for me as it is for those who have lost their mothers. For those who have lost their moms, today is one of the hardest and saddest days of the year because there is nothing like the sound of your mother’s voice, the reassuring and comforting touch of her hand, or even the smell of her perfume.
Today is also hard on those who have lost a child because, although other loved ones will shower them with gifts, nothing can ever replace the love and presence of your child by your side, handing you a card they picked out themselves. It is hard to watch others celebrate and be celebrated when the void within your heart from the loss of your loved one is exemplified today. This day is also hard on the women who were never blessed to feel life growing within her womb for one reason or another. Every woman desires to have a child somewhere deep within her soul but says she never wanted children because it was easier to deal with that than admit it would never come to fruition.
Last year, I wrote about women celebrating and claiming Father’s Day for themselves because they felt they had been both mother and father for their children and, unfortunately, I’ve seen just the opposite take place today with single father’s being acknowledged on Mother’s Day. Please don’t get it twisted, I respect single fathers and all they do for and with their children but they can never understand what it’s like to be a mother. A man will never grasp what it’s like to try to get some rest with a little foot poking thru your rib cage as your baby tries to find a comfortable position. 
Nor will a man ever experience morning sickness, watching their body be totally transformed and feel disfigured to bring life forward into this world. No man will ever feel the pain of watching the baby who was just pulled from their body struggle to live on a table in the delivery room. Yes, I understand men love and adore their children, I would never discredit them in that area but they will never understand all we go thru to make sure these blessings arrive safe and sound outside of the womb. Just as we give honor and praise to the dad’s on their day in June, we should show the same respect to mothers in May.
Whenever I was at odds with my mother, it would upset my father because he lost his mother, who was also his best friend, when I was young and never fully got over that loss. He would always tell me, “You only get one mother. Do whatever it takes to make it right and get back on good terms with her”. Being strong minded, willed and determined just like my mother, this has not always been an easy task and many years have been lost due to both of our bull headedness, I own that 100%. The relationship with my mother is not perfect by a long shot but there is no perfect parent/child relationship, you do what works best for all involved and love them unconditionally.
Yes, Queens, this is the day dedicated in some form or fashion to celebrate who and all we are but understand you are great and appreciated every day you open your eyes. 
My daddy taught me years ago, a female doesn’t have to have given birth to be celebrated as a mother and made me buy my sister cards when we were just teenagers. There are women who are mothers to fur babies or those who have stepped in to help raise another’s child who should also be celebrated on this day. Being a mother has nothing to do with giving birth, it has to do with showing unconditional love, nurturing, guidance, and care for another human being who needs you as a role model. We are not just to be celebrated on this one day, call your mother just to say “Hi” or “I love you”, send her a card on a Thursday because she was on your mind, visit her gravesite on a day other than a holiday or birthday. Always honor, cherish and respect your mother for she is the reason you are here and who you are not just on this commercially glamorized ‘holiday’.
Too many times, we forget it’s the little things which create the spark and when done on a consistent basis, that spark will grow into a roaring fire of love and passion. Consistency goes hand in hand with keeping your word; if you say you’re going to call back, do just that, even if you don’t have time to have a long conversation, keep your word. My father taught me a very long time ago, “Your word is all you have in this world”. It took me a while to fully understand it but I’m grateful I had someone teach me this lesson. I’ve witnessed it too many times where someone’s word isn’t kept and they lose credibility with me and others. How can I trust anything you tell me if you’ve not kept your word in the past?
Buying someone expensive gifts isn’t truly spoiling them unless you’re there for them as a shoulder to cry on when they’ve had a bad day or make it your mission to keep a smile on their face by being present in all aspects of the word. I know I’m not alone when I say I don’t let anyone in because I’ve been hurt by those who have promised to never hurt me and always be there for me in a capacity which no one before them has been. It’s the little things which get and keep my attention such as thinking of me when you’re at a party full of fun and laughter and calling me to say I’m on your mind or bringing me ice cream when I’m sad. 
Don’t get me wrong, diamonds and purses will bring a smile to my face but holding me when I’m crying or sad brings a smile to and soothes my heart.
If you have no intentions of following thru with an action you initiated for an indefinite period of time, don’t start it, don’t get someone used to being spoiled by your attention and then take it away, that’s just cruel.
Some women don’t show consistency because they aren’t concerned about anyone but themselves and only care about what a guy will do for her. I think I can speak for both genders when I say we all want someone who looks out for us and our well-being, no one wants to be with a selfish person who only cares about what we can do for them. This falls under the age old adage: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. You like flowers and candy, right? Well, guess what, so do guys but they’ll never ask for it out of fear of seeming like a punk. This is when you do it from your heart because you want to bring a smile to his face and heart.
The same practice needs to be followed when you’re nourishing the love someone is willing to share with you. You’re used to eating every day, right? If your food supply ceased to exist one day out of the blue and there was no sign of ever eating again, you’d shrivel up and die. Well, that’s what happens when you’re not consistent with your actions and love when it comes to another person; it withers and dies a slow and painful death. Never underestimate the power of consistency.
This is not a game where score is kept, there’s no running tally, this is my heart, emotions and feelings, there’s no price on those and they’re not to be played with.
Have we been let down that many times we don’t accept when someone wants us simply for us? We have been so let down and damaged by the inconsistency of others that we don’t believe when someone comes into our lives and wants nothing more than to love us. Is it hard to be open to love after being hurt? It sure is but that shouldn’t close you off because in doing so, you’ll miss the one who is meant to be there and will consistently go above and beyond anything you’ve ever experienced before.
Being considerate and consistent doesn’t guarantee a faithful partner but if you do for them as you would have them do for you, they won’t have a reason to seek anything outside of you. Now, yes, there will be people you could do everything for who still aren’t faithful but that has nothing to do with you, that’s something they need to fix within themselves. In that instance, don’t beat yourself up and slack on the next one out of fear the same thing will happen. No one is born bitter, they are created by the inconsistencies of those we’ve trusted to do and be better but only let us down by being just like the last ones.
and embrace all you have to offer and know that there is someone out there who will appreciate you for everything you are that the last one didn’t. Doing from a mindset of feeling you have to do something feels more like a chore and will grow resentment within you. Instead, do from your heart for those you care about and I promise you’ll be great and feel even better about yourself. Shine on my Lovelies!