I was scrolling thru my news feed and came across something posted by a friend which summed up exactly how I feel about consistency in relationships:
It’s consistency in the little things that matters most…
“She didn’t fall in love with you because you remembered her birthday and brought her flowers on Valentine’s Day. She fell in love with you, because when you woke up in the morning, you said, ‘Good morning’ to her before you checked your phone. She fell in love with you, because when you went to the fridge to get yourself a drink, you got her one without even asking. She fell in love with you, because when you had an amazing day at work and she came home and she had a terrible day at work, you didn’t say, ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. But let me tell you about my day.’ You sat and listened to her awful day and you didn’t say a thing about your amazing day. This is why she fell in love with you. I can’t tell you exactly what day. It was no particular thing you did. It was the accumulation of all of those little things that she woke up one day as if she pressed a button, she goes, ‘I love him.’ The same with the relationships, it’s not about the events, it’s not about intensity, it’s about consistency.”…Simon Sinek
The reality is, we don’t fall in love with another’s money, cars or house, hell, even sex isn’t going to make you fall in love with another person. You may feel as though you’re in love because he had you reaching for things which weren’t there as you screamed the Lord’s name in passion but that’s not love, Boo Boo, that’s lust. 
Too many times, we forget it’s the little things which create the spark and when done on a consistent basis, that spark will grow into a roaring fire of love and passion. Consistency goes hand in hand with keeping your word; if you say you’re going to call back, do just that, even if you don’t have time to have a long conversation, keep your word. My father taught me a very long time ago, “Your word is all you have in this world”. It took me a while to fully understand it but I’m grateful I had someone teach me this lesson. I’ve witnessed it too many times where someone’s word isn’t kept and they lose credibility with me and others. How can I trust anything you tell me if you’ve not kept your word in the past?
When you are with someone or even just getting to know them, you spoil them with the little things such as: Good Morning/Night texts each and every day, calling back when you say you’re going to, showing up when you say you’re going to be there.
Buying someone expensive gifts isn’t truly spoiling them unless you’re there for them as a shoulder to cry on when they’ve had a bad day or make it your mission to keep a smile on their face by being present in all aspects of the word. I know I’m not alone when I say I don’t let anyone in because I’ve been hurt by those who have promised to never hurt me and always be there for me in a capacity which no one before them has been. It’s the little things which get and keep my attention such as thinking of me when you’re at a party full of fun and laughter and calling me to say I’m on your mind or bringing me ice cream when I’m sad. 
Don’t get me wrong, diamonds and purses will bring a smile to my face but holding me when I’m crying or sad brings a smile to and soothes my heart.
I have been called spoiled a few times in my life yet never thought I was because I didn’t have someone lavishing me with gifts but I then realized I am spoiled when it comes to attention. The quickest way to see the 5 year old brat in me come out is to slack off the things you’ve gotten me accustomed to. If you start off texting me every morning and night and then stop, I will get in my feelings and pout as though someone just stole my bike! 
If you have no intentions of following thru with an action you initiated for an indefinite period of time, don’t start it, don’t get someone used to being spoiled by your attention and then take it away, that’s just cruel.
As a society, we all have to do and be better, this isn’t just geared towards men, women become slackers too once they feel they’ve ‘got him”. If you pampered and cooked for him in the beginning, don’t ignore him and his needs and then bring home carry out just because you now share a bed every night. Is he not worthy of the consistency of your initial actions? 
Some women don’t show consistency because they aren’t concerned about anyone but themselves and only care about what a guy will do for her. I think I can speak for both genders when I say we all want someone who looks out for us and our well-being, no one wants to be with a selfish person who only cares about what we can do for them. This falls under the age old adage: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. You like flowers and candy, right? Well, guess what, so do guys but they’ll never ask for it out of fear of seeming like a punk. This is when you do it from your heart because you want to bring a smile to his face and heart.
When you are consistent with how you treat someone and then just stop for no known reason, this is how broken hearts and humans are created. If you read the Bible every day or meditate every day, you’re doing so to nourish your spirit and soul. 
The same practice needs to be followed when you’re nourishing the love someone is willing to share with you. You’re used to eating every day, right? If your food supply ceased to exist one day out of the blue and there was no sign of ever eating again, you’d shrivel up and die. Well, that’s what happens when you’re not consistent with your actions and love when it comes to another person; it withers and dies a slow and painful death. Never underestimate the power of consistency.
I’ve learned a reason guys tend to slack off and become inconsistent with the actions they started is because they feel as though they aren’t getting the same in return. Here’s the thing about that, if that’s what causes you to stop reaching out, you were never doing it out of genuineness, you were doing it out of reciprocity. When you care about someone, you do for them from your heart, you don’t keep tabs and play tit for tat, there is no score card on pure kindness. If you know that you called me 9 times and I only called you 3, why are you calling me in the first place? 
This is not a game where score is kept, there’s no running tally, this is my heart, emotions and feelings, there’s no price on those and they’re not to be played with.
Society has tainted us so much that we don’t recognize or appreciate when someone does something out of the kindness of their heart, just to see a smile on our faces. When someone tells us the only thing they want for their birthday is to spend time with us, why do we question their motives, why is there doubt? 
Have we been let down that many times we don’t accept when someone wants us simply for us? We have been so let down and damaged by the inconsistency of others that we don’t believe when someone comes into our lives and wants nothing more than to love us. Is it hard to be open to love after being hurt? It sure is but that shouldn’t close you off because in doing so, you’ll miss the one who is meant to be there and will consistently go above and beyond anything you’ve ever experienced before.
Infidelity is a huge problem in society today, side chicks/dudes seem to be more the norm and relevant than a committed relationship. A faithful partner is not guaranteed, people are going to be who and how they are until they are tired of messing around. 
Being considerate and consistent doesn’t guarantee a faithful partner but if you do for them as you would have them do for you, they won’t have a reason to seek anything outside of you. Now, yes, there will be people you could do everything for who still aren’t faithful but that has nothing to do with you, that’s something they need to fix within themselves. In that instance, don’t beat yourself up and slack on the next one out of fear the same thing will happen. No one is born bitter, they are created by the inconsistencies of those we’ve trusted to do and be better but only let us down by being just like the last ones.
I could talk until I’m blue in the face and some are too damaged and stubborn to actually listen and trust again. As hurt as I’ve been, I still look forward to finding that lasting, consistent love we all seek. It’s out there, you just have to be willing to take the chance but you also have to be willing to give it as well. No one will be consistent if they feel it’s unappreciated or taken for granted. Dry your eyes, Dear Heart, 
and embrace all you have to offer and know that there is someone out there who will appreciate you for everything you are that the last one didn’t. Doing from a mindset of feeling you have to do something feels more like a chore and will grow resentment within you. Instead, do from your heart for those you care about and I promise you’ll be great and feel even better about yourself. Shine on my Lovelies!