The other day, a friend of mine did a Facebook Live® video which resonated with me on so many levels. She spoke of how you never know what someone is going thru whether they have a smile on their face or not. She touched on how many of us don’t know the daily struggles of someone who always seems so upbeat and positive may be facing in their personal life.
This spoke directly to me in the aspect of depression and how many struggle with it each and every day, yet it goes undetected and unrecognized by even those closest to them. Although this is a time of family celebration and giving thanks, I would like to touch on some of the unrecognized symptoms of depression since we will be spending more time with family so you are more easily able to recognize it and help them. The holidays tend to heighten depression because there are so many who are missing family members who have passed on 
or just don’t have family to be with on the biggest family holiday of the year.
Unbeknownst to many, depressed people tend to be highly intelligent and creative which masks their pain and suffering. Someone suffering with depression understands substances differently than those not suffering. They know how to monitor what they put in their body, that alcohol is a depressant and drinking it over an extended period of time can create a mental state of low which they are less equipped to handle than the average person. They also know caffeine and sugar are uppers for moods, what medications do what and what doesn’t mix well. They know all this because altering their state of mind in any way is much more of a responsibility than it may be for other people. So, when Cousin Susan doesn’t want a spirited beverage this holiday, don’t force or question her, she knows she can’t handle the deep level of depression which will follow shortly thereafter. 
As far as their unique creativity, some of the most inspired and life-changing artists, musicians, comedians and leaders of this world were plagued with mental illness. Using the word ‘plagued’ is somewhat contradictory because having a serious depth of emotions can also lead to profound greatness. Think about the beloved Robin Williams, wonderful and caring soul who did whatever to make others laugh and bring joy to millions all while suffering with depression to the point he took his own life. 
Think about clowns, they paint a smile on their face and make others laugh because they know what it’s like not to laugh or feel joy, they don’t want others suffering as they do. Musicians share their pain thru their words to reach others, it’s their outlet of sorts.
Those suffering tend to be pros at ‘cover-up’ stories. These stories can be for anything from cuts or bruises on their arms and legs to the reason they skipped dinner or going out with you. Those who live with different forms of depression experience hardships which, at times, can impede the normalcy of their daily lives. Here’s where their creativity comes into play because they know what to say to avoid attention from others as to not display their pain. We don’t want anyone to recognize we are hitting a low point and know how to hide it. When you’re used to having your best friend at your side at every social event and then she starts to decline the offer for Happy Hour, take notice because she could be slipping into a low point. When one is depressed, they make every effort to appear ‘okay’ because they don’t want to bring anyone else down with their troubles and sorrows, even if it means hiding how they are truly feeling.
We learn how to alter our moods and sometimes seem to be the happiest people you would ever meet and know. Often times, those with depression try to stick with the positive and public parts of their demeanor and persona regardless of what they’re going thru on the inside.
Depression creates a suffocating lack of control which is why those suffering either sleep too much or too little, the same goes for eating. We all know someone who suffers from insomnia from time to time, this could be a sign of depression. 
Or how about the person who is either always eating and packing on the pounds or the one who eats like a bird? Sleeping and eating tend to be things we feel we can control and can be the only escape from the darkness. This is not to say everyone who suffers from insomnia or over/undereating is depressed, it’s merely to help you recognize the signs in those you love when those patterns change.
Everyone seeks love and acceptance from others, each and every person, no matter your social status, upbringing or background, we all desire to be loved and accepted. However, those dealing with depression tend to shield the world from their own personal demons but this is not done for the sake of dishonesty, it’s more for the protection of their heart, those around them, and the success of their dreams. When you do all you can to be accepted and loved by another and they shit on your efforts, you feel unworthy and it can cause a spiral effect straight to a low point. 
Today’s society has turned into an all about self society, no one takes the time or effort to let one down easy or even communicate their true feelings so the other person doesn’t feel alone in their feelings.
Depression isn’t just about feeling sad and crying all the time, it is so much deeper, sometimes subtle, than that. Being depressed means not showering for three days straight; knowing you have dishes to clean, exams to study for, people to talk to and interact with but not actually doing it; having no motivation to do anything ever; hating every single part of yourself; no concentration whatsoever; recurring thoughts of wanting to disappear; a once impeccable memory is now shit, you can’t remember the simplest of things; agitation; self-blame; anxiety; guilt; withdrawal from others; feelings of helplessness; this list goes on and on because it’s not as simple as shedding a few tears.
During this time of family love and celebration, take a moment to recognize and realize that, although they have a smile on their face, your friend/loved one/family member could be suffering from some form of depression alone because they don’t want to feel like a burden to you or anyone else. Sometimes all it takes is a listening ear without judgement or opinion to bring them out of their lows. Just be present.