Earlier this week, my daughters participated in National Walk Out Day, as I’m sure many, if not all, of your children did. For those who are unaware what this day means and stood for, I’ll enlighten you. Last month, on February 14th, 17 students and faculty were gunned down in their high school in Florida by a former student who was butt hurt and obviously mentally off. On March 14th, students and faculty around the world walked out of school at 10 am to pay their respects to those who lost their lives just a month prior. Some students went down to Washington, DC and peacefully protested on the lawn of the capitol building for stricter gun laws so this type of tragedy won’t happen again.
Let’s start with the bullying aspect because that’s one opinion I saw while scrolling thru social media. The opinion which stands out most to me is: These kids will walk out for gun control but those same kids won’t stand up to a bully. First of all, how many parents are aware their child is actually the one doing the bullying? 
There are many parents who have no idea the harm their child causes another child on a daily basis. A perfect example of this is from when my youngest was in 3rd grade, I participated in their field day activities armed with knowledge of a little girl who tormented my child on a regular basis since the 1st grade. During the activities, I struck up a conversation with another parent and pointed out how this certain child tormented mine. This man patiently listened as I detailed what transpired between the 2 girls and when I finished, he let me know the tormentor was his daughter. This man had no clue of what his daughter was capable of and he apologized to me and assured me it would no longer be an issue. That was 6 years ago and since that day, that little girl and my daughter have been friends. Until your child is the victim of bullying, you’ve no idea how much the school system protects the bully over your child. I’ve had numerous experiences with my daughters being in situations where I want to wait outside to deal with someone else’s child but I can’t even get a meeting with the parents because the school isn’t allowed to get involved. Since some of you are so smart on how to handle bullying, please share with me how you make it stop when you can’t even have a meeting with the other parents to discuss what’s happening. 
There are many so-called parents who aren’t involved in their child’s day to day activities or even thoughts who want to tell another parent how to raise their child when they’re not even taking the time to raise their own. Throwing money, clothes, shoes, weaves, and video game systems at your child is not raising them. 
No one is the perfect parent, such thing doesn’t exist, we just do what we can to ensure our children don’t grow up to be the assholes who shoot up schools or torment others due to their own insecurities……….well, some of us do. When this tragedy took place, my daughters came to me and expressed their fears of now going to school because they didn’t want to die! They are 14 and 16 years old and are afraid some jerk is going to take out his aggression for one person on everyone he sees. In 2018, 6 year old children are doing ‘Shooter Drills’ which entails them hiding in closets and making walls of protection out of their desks!! 
Children should not have to worry about staying alive in order to get an education. How can they focus on their schoolwork if they’re jumpy and on edge at every sudden movement around them? No child should be more afraid of going to school than they are of going to the mall. There are many who will try to have empathy for the shooter because he’s been thru a lot in his 19 years on this earth but there are many more who’ve dealt with much worse who don’t pick up an assault weapon and kill people because of it. 
These same butt hurt and neglected children grow up to be psychotic adults who use their anger to control others any way they see fit.
During a recent conversation with my daughters, my oldest let me know I was doing something right and my heart melted because, as parents, we always wondering if we’re screwing them up. My oldest said, “You do what you can to make sure we’re good when we leave the house. Even on my worst mornings, you talk to me calmly and end with ‘Get it together, you don’t want your morning to ruin your day’. You don’t realize how much that helps me and I actually have better days because of you caring and taking the time to make sure I’m okay. Maybe if more parents were like you, there wouldn’t be so many angry people who hurt and kill others”.
Since my daughters were young, I’ve been called “Claire Huxtable” because of the way I interact with my children, I take it as a huge compliment and wear it like a badge of honor. 
When I was growing up, my mother didn’t talk to me about how I felt or what was going on in my life, she just assigned me chores and expected them done with no back talk, very cut and dry relationship. Because of this, when I have to discipline my girls, I say what I have to say, send them to their rooms to think about it and for cooler heads to prevail. I wait a few minutes and then head to their room so we can discuss what happened and what they felt was the main issue and you’d be surprised how differently they interpret conversations. 
Just because they are children doesn’t mean they don’t want and need to be heard by their parents. If you just spew words at your child and leave it there, you’re leaving so many questions unanswered and your child feels alone, unheard and as though their feelings don’t matter. Parenting is not a cut and dry situation, it’s a responsibility too many don’t take seriously. When you have a disagreement with your Boo or bestie, do you say your point and walk away with the expectation it’s done and over or do you talk it out? Why are your children not worthy of the same treatment?
In case you haven’t guessed it, I take this parenting thing seriously, I’m responsible for molding respectful and responsible humans who don’t take their shit out on others. Taking it seriously means taking the time to get to know and understand my children, letting them know they can come to me whenever something is wrong and when they don’t come to me, I go to them and ask them, “What’s going on? You seem off, let’s talk about it” because I pay attention to their demeanor. If we don’t take the time to listen to and be there for our children, they’ll keep it bottled up inside until they burst and that doesn’t end well for anyone. I pay attention to their actions and attitudes and when there’s more bickering than usual, they’re teenage girls, there’s always bickering in my house. 
But when it becomes too much, the three of us sit down and have a Come to Jesus meeting. We sit at the dining room table, no electronics are allowed because we have to focus, I have my glass of wine in hand because, well, it’s needed and I start the conversation with, “What’s going on? You have been snapping at your sister and walking around with an attitude, let’s talk”. It used to take a lot more conversation from me to pull it out of them but it’s gotten easier over the years. Usually, something happened at school which didn’t sit well with one of them and they carried it around while it festered and they took that hostility out on those in my house. Once the conversation starts, it usually gets heated, I take a few sips of wine, calm them down and remind them how to speak to one another, the conversation resumes and all issues are out in the open and dealt with. 
It’s amazing to me how I can feel the tension in the house dissolve once our ‘meeting’ is over and we’re laughing and joking with one another. Would I recommend this to other parents? Hell yeah! But, everyone parents differently and does what they feel is right for their children, this is what is right and works for me and mine.
On March 24th, I will be taking my daughters down to the Mall to participate in the March For Life with thousands of other parents and children to speak out on the violence and march for stricter gun control laws. 