Today, I went to check my mail for the first time in quite a few days and remembered why I don’t do it every day, seeing nothing but bills and junk mail is downright depressing. Can a sista get a love letter or a card telling her how fabulous she is every now and again mixed in all that depression? As I’m sifting thru junk flyers I start wondering where is the ‘unsubscribe’ button on this adulting shit because working to pay bills is not what I signed up for, I was duped! 
I’m sure we’ve all felt this way at some point in our adult lives but there, honestly, is no way to stop it. While adulting can seem daunting at times, there are some awesome points to it if you progress and grow in life enough to appreciate it. There are many folx who are merely biologically grown and messing up the meaning hand over fist and they’re embarrassing. Please understand that just because you are in your 40s/50s, it doesn’t mean you’re grown if you’re still doing childish, high school shit.
I came across an article recently titled: 40 Things You Can No Longer Get Away With After 40 which triggered my thought process. I’m happy to say I ceased doing just about all of them before I was 40 and can merely shake my head at those who are 40+ continuing to do them as though it’s okay. One of the things they mentioned was getting blacked out drunk. Will there be times in your 40s+ when you want to have a good time? Sure there are but screaming and taking “Shots, Shots, Shots” at every opportunity when you can’t even handle one mixed drink is not a good look. 
By the time you’re of a certain age, you should know how to handle your liquor and if you don’t, slow down and learn because you’re just embarrassing and becoming an annoyance to those who have to take care of and make excuses for you and your behavior. I am proud to say that my daddy taught me how to drink properly at an early, almost legal, age and over the course of my life, I’ve learned what I can and cannot drink due to the effects of certain spirited beverages on my personality and actions. When we were in our 20s, getting shit faced was expected and tolerated but at 40+ a lot of us need to do better and act our age. Think about this, as a child, did you ever see your parent(s) get blacked out drunk and act a fool? Now, don’t get me wrong, I know some of you may have had a horrible drunk parent who caused damage to you and your family, I’m not referring to you, I’m referring to the average person who had parents who went to work every day and took care of standard business. Did my father drink? That’s like asking is the sky blue or grass green. Of course he drank but I never saw him drink to the point he was throwing up in unspeakable places at the most inopportune moments. My daddy thoroughly enjoyed his Hennessy® and Remy® but knew his limits which taught me how to learn my limits as to not be an embarrassment to him or my mother in their absence.
A couple of other things shared on this list were: oversharing on social media, taking and sharing an abundance of selfies, having a platonic roommate, staying in toxic relationships and pregnancy scares. Okay, I’m going to have to agree with all of those as well. First of all, in this day and age with the plethora of birth control out there, how is anyone just popping up pregnant at 42 years old? Oh, that’s right, we’re also in the era of Viagra® and sugar daddies so, I guess that one explained itself, huh? Wait, no it didn’t, how are you in your 40s with
a sugar daddy/momma? What are they, like, 80? Boo, do better and get yourself someone who loves you for you and the 2 of you build and grow together, leave those old, saggy, grey pubes alone because they are not fulfilling anything in your life. 
Onto the social media aspect of being grown; it used to be when you scrolled thru your page and saw a heated post spilling all the dirty details of another person, you knew right then and there this person was young and didn’t know any better. Well, dammit, now we have biologically grown people airing all of their dirty laundry for the entire world to see, read, and share. My poor, disillusioned loves, when you do that? No one is reading it and trying to help you with your situation, they are only reading a reality shit show instead of flipping thru channels to find one on tv. 
The only reason you get likes is so they can continue to follow the messiness you are creating while they munch on their popcorn and tell other people to check it out. When you become an adult, the trials and tribulations of your private life are supposed to remain just that: PRIVATE and shared only verbally with those you can confide in and trust to keep it to themselves. Now, there will be those Loose Lip Lucys who can’t hold water and tell your business to others and you should learn from that point not to share with them either.
I’m guessing that due to this being a nationally published article written by someone who wasn’t of color; there was no mention of listening to and getting turnt up to mumble rap music, being messy and doing stalker shit after 40. There are things I’ve dealt with in my 40s that I didn’t even deal with in high school due to the immaturity of other females. I know we all like to sip and spill tea every now and then but when you’re divulging deep secrets of someone else just to be the center of attention, please know you’re being extremely messy. I’ve watched and love the movie Mean Girls® and used to think it was only stuff that happened in a movie about high school teenagers but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
It’s amazing to me how many supposed grown people are trashing and tarnishing the reputation of other people for attention. It’s one thing to speak about someone but it’s another issue when you’re making up lies about them to make the story more interesting and turn others against this person. If you can’t hold a conversation with others about your own merits and drama, the best advice I have for you is to keep your mouth shut because it will surely come back to you in an unfavorable manner. When you speak ill and incorrectly about another person, you tend to fail to understand there are people who know that person’s character and will only view you as a jealous hater. Again, aren’t we too grown for this type of juvenile behavior?
To me, there is never a good age to do stalkerish shit to an ex after a break-up, if it didn’t work it just didn’t work out. Why is there a need to bust windows or slash tires? Or taunt their current Boo with knowledge that you had them at one time? What does any of this accomplish? Does it heal your broken heart?
Do you really think that after you do that and they have to go thru the necessary expense of repairing the damage they’re going to say, “Hey Babe, I saw the errors of my ways and want to work things out with you. How about we get married”? Hell nah! You’ll be lucky if they don’t press charges on you and, at your age? You’re going to do some time behind bars and become someone’s bitch. 
When you’ve matured, you take the break-up as a lesson learned and move on, there’s no need to try to get that person fired since it’s not against the law to not want to be with you. Yes, Sweetie, you are fabulous and anyone would be lucky to have you but this one didn’t appreciate you and you’re better off, leave them alone before you have a record you can’t get expunged for doing dumb shit, ‘kay?
By the time you’re in your 40s+, you should understand that how you dress speaks volumes about how others perceive you. Now, while I’ve never, personally, been one to put it all on display when I go out, there is a time in our lives when we do. Don’t get me wrong, I had my addiction to spandex when I was younger but, if it’s possible, I did it tastefully. I didn’t do it tastefully enough for my father but unless I was cloaked in a burlap sack, I was showing too much. There are females I know of who feel they have to nearly expose a nipple when going out just to gain the attention of men and they couldn’t be more wrong. 
Well, they get attention but it’s only because the guys view them as an easy lay and make a bee line in an attempt to get their lil dang-a-langs wet and, after a few drinks, it becomes an easy task. This leads to the next point, a 40+ THOT is not a good look. When you enter a room, you should garner looks of awe and amazement not dudes talking and comparing notes on how easy it was to have sex with and never call you again. By 40, you shouldn’t be jumping from bed to bed, sleeping with this stranger, this eff buddy or some random you swiped right on. When you are of a certain age, the person you are intimate with should be someone you’re building towards something with. Yes, I know, some of you will roll your eyes at this part but you already know you’re too old to be a constant one night stand, you have way too much to offer and your goods should be earned and appreciated outside of beer goggle eyes. I mean, we all know that sex gets better after 40 but how will you ever know how intense it can truly be if you’re only getting it once from all these different people? At 40+ you’re too old to be a THOT and just look desperate.
In a nutshell, it’s time to grow up people, we are too old to compete with 20 something year olds. By this age, we should be educating them on how to carry themselves and not the other way around. Instead of hanging out in bars getting shit faced, how about hitting up a nice lounge and sipping on a nice glass of wine while listening to real music?
While it may feel like it, paying a mortgage and a car note don’t make a person grown but furnishing your home and spending time entertaining in it do. So, ladies, put on that fitted dress that accentuates your curves and those hot ass shoes and gentlemen, put on that suit and cologne that make women swoon as you enter the room and get your grown folk on!
This was a good read…..