From what cloth are you cut?

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Yes, I’ve spoken on dating/courting/wooing before but with continued experiences, I’m learning it’s actually getting worse. I have bitching and venting sessions with my girlfriend on occasion and then get into unnecessarily heated and frustrating conversations with a male friend of mine and still have no legit answers, my head is just spinning more. It wasn’t until I was perusing social media one day and came across a statement did I finally get the sad reality: Guys today are cut from the cloth of little effort. BAM! And there it is! Such a simple, yet profound, statement put everything into perspective; enough females are accepting this lackluster attempt that the guys believe all females will accept and go along with it. I’m sorry to break it to you but every female isn’t cut from that cloth of ‘a text here and there is good enough to get the pannies’.

Let’s start with the minimal effort texts in the morning. Some people feel as though that’s enough to show interest in another person even though there is no follow up conversation throughout the day and it definitely doesn’t flow over into the weekend. Why would I entertain someone who only thinks about me during the week while they’re sitting in traffic and sends me a text which takes 3 seconds? Are you not interested on the days we could actually go out and spend real time together? Oh, my bad, those texts were supposed to woo and warm me up during the week and make me want you that much more come Saturday, right? Oh, but wait, you don’t have time for me on the weekends, so, I’m just supposed to sit around and wait for you to hit me up Monday morning and make my week brighter. When I’ve been having this discussion with my friend, I’ve been told to be the mirror of what I want to receive and I agree with him 1000%, which is why I don’t entertain those low effort dudes. I am so sorry, really I’m not, that I don’t accept a mere 5 “Good Morning” texts as some sort of real effort. What happened to conversation once we’re both no longer at work? Hell, what happened to communicating and trying to spend time with me on the weekend? Can a sista get some conversation that isn’t of the sexual nature? I mean, you may be a’ight looking but that’s not what these pannies come off for and if you spent any time getting to know me, you’d realize it. You put forth so little effort by spending 3 seconds of your morning sending me a text and no more follow up and then want me to chase or be all over and begging to have sex with you?!

While I agree effort needs to be matched on both sides, I’m obviously cut of the ancient, forgone cloth of old school where the female doesn’t chase the male. If you are interested in actually being with me outside of the bedroom, you need to show me the interest is there by reaching out and communicating with me with something more than Good Morning. Oh, my bad, I see where the confusion seems to come into play, so, let me break it down a lil. Ahem, meager ‘Good Morning’ texts aren’t communicating and conversing, they’re merely speaking as you would to a stranger on the street. I speak to my coworkers every morning, Monday thru Friday and it’s never been taken as me wooing or showing interest in them, they merely say it back so and we go about our workday, why would a text stating the same be any different?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so much of a prude that I don’t get the fact that the most sought after end result is sex but what happens after that, is that when your interest is truly peaked and you want to get to know me? Was the cookie that good that you want to get to know the actual person now? I don’t know about you but in order to get to know ‘her’ on an intimate level, you must get to know me first. Maybe if we put forth as little effort in the bed by laying there like a dead fish as they put forth to get us there, they’d try harder. But then again, you have a lot of dudes whose sole purpose it was to get their lil dang-a-lang wet and bust a nut and accomplished it so, they go about their business as if they earned it.

Another area of the dating world where way too little effort is put forth is an actual date. Maybe I’m the anomaly because I’m not impressed enough to give you some coochie because you want to take me to Outback. Really? You thought that was going get my pannies wet and have me all over you? If that’s your plan, please miss me with that bullshit and let it stick to someone else because, at this stage in my life, I don’t have time for the nonsense. When you are dealing with a grown woman, money doesn’t impress her because she makes her own and can buy her own meals, try doing something she wouldn’t or couldn’t do for herself. Usually, I’d give some suggestions on things you could do to woo and impress a grown woman but too many don’t care to pay attention and actually do it so…………… And, sorry guys but sex also falls into the category of things I can do for myself instead of dealing with your nonsense, lies and inconsistencies. I just don’t understand why guys feel the need to lie to get laid and think it’s going to work?! I also don’t understand why they think that it’s okay to ask whose place we would be having sex at before the first date?! I would ask, “Where they do that at”? but everything I’m speaking of is from personal experience and they do it in 2018 and wherever they are breathing. Maybe you can help me out here on understanding who these bogus, low effort ass lines work on because I can see straight thru them! Unfortunately, the sad reality is they’ve worked on more than one person because the guys are repeating them with the confidence and intention of reaping the same result of an easy lay. And, trust me, when they realize they are going to have to put in some true, legit effort to get laid, it’s amazingly sad how quickly those texts trickle away to nothing at all.

Please don’t get me wrong, I know this is not just the guys’ fault because females have made it way, way, WAY too acceptable and easy for guys to continue to behave in this manner. Some females have had such horrible experiences that the simple ‘Good Morning’ text is enough to fulfill her day, she doesn’t care if she hears from him until the next morning, as long as he spoke. She feels it’s enough because he’s consistently doing it every morning and that’s what matters to her. I’m sorry, love, but that’s not true consistency because I know some people who have auto texts sent out at a specific time every day, he may have already forgotten he had it set up while you’re letting that smidgen of effort brighten your day.  Too many of us have been so damaged by others that we don’t believe we’re worthy of anything more and will still give all of ourselves to the brothas cut of the cloth of little effort and treat him like a king when he’s nothing more than the court jester.

Just because you don’t run across them every day doesn’t mean there aren’t still females who expect you to put forth some real effort in order to get our most precious gift because there are so many who don’t appreciate the gift between their legs and dole it out like Halloween candy and those are the ones you can send your lil raggedy Good Morning and nothing else to. If you want to experience what it’s like to deal with a grown ass woman, call her with some conversation, ask her how her day was, plan a date with her, don’t sit around sending “Good Morning” or even “WYD” texts to her and thinking she’s going to be impressed with it. You claim to be a grown ass man because you’re going to work every day and paying your bills as an adult should, why stop there? If you’re going to claim the title, you should live your life in the same manner by not tarnishing the crown with a lackluster “Good Morning” texts. Just as I should be a mirror, so should you.