Hey, my Lovelies! I was recently having a conversation with a friend and realized I must have been born in the wrong era because my morals, ethics, and beliefs don’t align with today’s societal ways. I will tell anyone how much of an old-fashioned woman I am and stand 10 toes firm on my standards and beliefs as straying from them to ‘fit in’ with society’s jankety ways doesn’t sit well with my spirit and I also feel I’d be disappointing my lineage if I didn’t stay the course of what they worked so hard to create for and within me. I, personally, believe that simple and authentic human decency is a treasure that has been lost among us.
It amazes me how far we’ve strayed from being just good humans to one another, in this day and age, people are all about self to the point when someone does something from the kindness of their heart, it’s viewed as some sort of scam or an attempt to get over on another. There are so many facets to human decency, it doesn’t just pertain to helping an elderly person cross a busy street or picking up a child’s toy in a grocery store. Even these simple acts of kindness are sometimes questioned or met with looks of fear and words of anger for having the audacity to help. We have also been tainted and dissuaded from helping another because the number of people preying on the kindness of others has skyrocketed and we no longer know or believe who is truly in need.
Do I give money to every homeless person I see? Honestly, no I do not but that’s not because my heart is cold, it’s mainly because I very rarely ever have cash on me. I have been questioned as to why I would give them money and told they’re just going to buy drugs or liquor with it but, the reality is, that’s not my cross to bear. When I offer $1 to someone who appears in need, if they use it to cause further destruction in their lives, that’s on them as it didn’t come with rules, regulations, or stipulations. How would you feel if your employer required a detailed list of how you planned to spend every cent of the paycheck you worked for? Yes, I know some will argue that you worked for that paycheck while negating the fact that the countless homeless vets worked and risked their lives for this country. Looking out for one another and more for those in need is truly a treasure that has been lost in this selfish society.
I hate the fact that it’s become such a common place thing in our lives to hear a youth has been senselessly shot and killed and no longer feel any sort of empathy or rage that we’re slowly losing a generation to violence. I live in the DC metro area and I do what I can to avoid watching the news as it’s filled with nothing but stories of gun violence and it’s getting bolder and bolder as they’re no longer waiting until nightfall, they don’t care. I’m old enough to remember when DC was called Dodge City because the drug game and violence seemed to be out of hand but at least then they were keeping it among themselves whereas now, no one is safe when children just trying to ride a bus home from school end up getting shot because biological adults don’t know how to act and pull out a gun with the mindset it will solve the problem. When did we get to the point that we can’t even enjoy nice weather by having lunch at a café while sitting outside without having to worry about someone having beef and shooting the place up? The lack of human decency to care about devastating a family by killing their loved one because they crossed over into ‘your territory’, which is in absolutely no way yours, is truly a lost treasure.
I remember growing up with the understanding I had to be on, at least, good behavior at all times because my village was always watching and would report back to my parents if I decided to act like an untrained circus monkey at any time. For those who may be unaware, the village I speak of is comprised of family, friends, and neighbors who knew and respected my parents. The beauty of having a village caused us to be always accountable for our actions as we didn’t just have to answer to our parents, we had discussions with the one who caught us and then took what they witnessed to our parents. I am 50 years old and still very mindful of how I act because I learned the hard way how many people know my family when my behavior got back to my mother and I was questioned and chastised on how I ”was raised better than that”.
With my grandfather having been the principal in a school for 30 years, everyone in that small town knew all generations of my family, there was no getting black out drunk and acting a complete ass or mouthing off to a cashier or bullying anyone as it got back home before I did. Again, the treasure of a village kept my ass in check and built a foundation to be mindful of my actions at all times regardless if I recognized every face in an establishment because there would always be that one person who recognized me even if I’d never met them because my family has strong genes. No matter how much my sister wants to believe I was adopted, I can’t dispute my lineage and blood line, I look too much like both sides of my family to attempt to get away with anything.
If you’ve been here for a while, you know I can’t mention the loss of the treasure of human decency in relationships. I am dollar bill single and am comfortable with the fact I will probably remain this way because I don’t have the time, tolerance, or patience for the lack of respect men have for women. I was raised with the old school understanding the man is the pursuer, if you want to talk to and get to know me, come correctly and that means, don’t expect me to come over to your table to strike up a conversation and buy you a drink. I have had this conversation with a couple of men over the years and it’s another area I stand 10 toes firm on. When did men get soft as baby shit and whine about wanting to be pursued?
If I have to make the first move because you’re in your feminine energy, when does it stop? When do you put your big boy pants on and put in effort to make plans and be consistent with it? So many men want a woman to be submissive without having an understanding of how to lead because if they knew how to lead, they’d know their woman would submit with no conversation, resistance, or conflict, it comes naturally. No, I am not putting all of this on men as women haven’t helped make the situation any better because they’ve stepped into the masculine energy and believe they can do the same thing as men and, in my opinion, it doesn’t work that way. Have females had to learn how to do more things on their own in life due to the lack of a strong male? Yes, we sure have but sometimes we take it too far to the point we make a man feel as though they’re neither needed or appreciated. If there was still human decency in relationships, side pieces wouldn’t be so prevalent and glorified, they’d be shamed.
I can’t tell you how we got away from being good and decent to one another but I can tell you I don’t like it and make sure my children still display it in every form. Being a decent human being doesn’t mean you have to go broke or be broken to help another, it simply means doing what you feel is right in your spirit. I can only speak for myself when I say this is how I was raised and understand everyone wasn’t raised like me but I do have faith my generation shares this understanding. I refuse to let my human decency be a lost treasure as I will hold onto it with a white knuckled grip because anything less negates the efforts and struggles of my lineage to be and do better with each generation. The lack of human decency in today’s society stems from a lot of unhealed trauma and heartbreak and, I believe, once we learn how to heal, this may not be a treasure which is forever lost. Be great, my Loves!
