Look at your Boo, they are fine, spark your soul and make you smile just by seeing their face, this is your end all be all of a partner. You click on every level and you feel complete when you are with them and empty when they’re not around.
After some time, reality begins to set in and problems will arise within the relationship but you both get thru them with communication and you still believe this is forever. But alas, it’s not, there are problems no amount of communication are able to overcome. You know in your heart and soul it’s over but you stick around because your momma didn’t raise a quitter and you don’t want to hurt this person. Staying in a relationship after it’s already over and you’re done actually causes more damage to the both of you than ending it when you were both healthy. Now, this person who once looked at you with nothing but adoration and love saves the most painful stank eyes strictly for you.
You’re no longer in a relationship because there is so much disdain and loathing you each do things to drive the other person further away so you can be the bad guy. Why did you stay?
The main reason I hear for people staying in miserable relationships is: the children. Hmmm, that’s never a good, legitimate or healthy reason to stay with someone who is now sucking every bit of goodness out of your soul. We don’t realize how resilient children truly are, we believe they are so fragile and we are messing up their lives if we are no longer with this person they’ve grown fond of. The person you are ending a relationship with is not always necessarily the other half of their beginning, it could be a boyfriend/girlfriend they got used to be around. You sacrifice your happiness and sanity because you are afraid of removing someone from their lives. Here’s my question to you: How would you feel if your child/children were in the same type of relationship you’re in for them? You won’t be the best person or even parent you can and should be if you’re miserable. Trust me, I’ve been there and learned the hard way but refuse to repeat that cycle, my girls and I deserve the best me at all times.
When I meet someone who is married or in a serious relationship, I ask them one simple question: Are you happy? I’m amazed how that one simple question changes their demeanor and expression. Prior to asking the question, they are light-hearted and having a good time, you can even see a sparkle in their eye, life looks good for them…………..on the outside. Once that question is posed, the light in their eyes dim and the misery is shown on their face and I have my answer before they can even utter a lie.
I don’t know about most of you but at this point in my life, I want and settle for nothing less than happiness.
How happy are you if you do whatever you can not to be home with them? Don’t get me wrong, I understand and encourage everyone to maintain their own identity within a relationship, it’s crucial or you get lost and sacrifice who you are for the sake of being in that relationship. Maybe I just have a different ideal of what a relationship is, maybe I’m the anomaly here. When I was married, there was NO way my husband would be hanging out 4-5 nights a week, coming home intoxicated after midnight. But there are some who feel they need to be buzzed to go home and deal with life. 
If your home life is truly that good and happy, why aren’t you spending more time there? Did I lose myself during my marriage? Yes, I most certainly did because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do and it took me a lot longer than it should have to realize how wrong I was. I now know, understand and respect there is a healthy balance between hanging out and socializing with friends and spending time with your Boo.
Another reason people will stay in a relationship is for financial and materialistic reasons. They are with this person because they wouldn’t have the big house or cash flow to buy extravagant clothes, shoes, and purses without them.
I’ve heard so many times how complicated it is due to sharing a house or business with their partner so they stay and do whatever they want as though they’re single. What makes you think you can’t have all of that without them? If you’re staying in a relationship for Louis Vutton, you’re in it for the wrong reasons and your soul will never rest easy. All of the items you’re able to purchase is not love or commitment to that person, it’s only satisfying a shallowness within you and that won’t last no matter how big your house or bank account is. For me, being with the person I love and loves me means so much more than money. Believe it or not, when you’re in a relationship for the right reasons, all of those things will actually come easy.Again, I guess I’m an anomaly in this area as well. I watched those I love have everything materialistic they could ever want but they were miserable and the relationship didn’t last because enough couldn’t be bought to make them happy. I learned never to sacrifice my soul for any amount of money.
Some people will stay in dead relationships because they feel this is what they’re supposed to do, where they’re supposed to be in life, regardless of their level of happiness. These people will get into a relationship with someone who doesn’t spark their soul because they are terrified of getting hurt again. This person was deeply in love with someone and it scared them so bad they refused to ever let anyone that close again. They seek someone who looks good on their arm, represents them well by not being ratchet in public and are good with their children but also not have the ability to get in that place of their heart they hold sacred. At this point, you’re not in love, you’re merely content with saying you have someone in your life as to not be alone. Fear is a terrible thing which prevents you from living a happy and full life. What’s the worst that could happen if you actually did stay with the person who ignited your heart as no one before them ever did? Answer? You could live the happiest life ever imagined but you’ve now missed out on it to settle for mediocrity with someone you haven’t that true connection with. Way to go!
I am a single divorcee’ who looks forward to getting married again. I know too many people who are stuck in dead end, miserable relationships for all sorts of reasons. I am an advocate for love and happiness in relationships, in no way am I a relationship killer or hater. I just believe everyone should be happy, that’s why we’re here, to find and live in our happiness.
I love and believe in love but am also very aware of the many who settle for less just to say they have someone, a big house or their children are used to this other person. Life is too short to stay in a miserable, dead end relationship. Will you hurt by ending this relationship? Yes, but you’ll heal and have so much more than you ever dream of by allowing them and yourself to find your true happiness outside of each other. We have to love ourselves more in order to love and let another in and build a life together. A contented and fulfilled heart is visible on the outside as well as in. 
When you’re happy, you’ll never have to actually tell anyone, you’ll emit it in every action and facial expression and it’s contagious. Go on out there and start infecting others with your joy, love and happiness!