The Bionic Woman was no match for my sister

Hey, my Lovelies! I’m not sure if you can tell or not but I’ve been in somewhat of a nostalgic mood as of late. There are times I just look around my home and see pieces of memorabilia I have acquired from loved ones who are no longer with us and I smile because it takes me back to a time when they were here.

During a recent video chat with my sister, I saw her childhood stuffed animal by the name of Puppy Love. He is a stuffed dog who strongly resembles Snoopy ® as he is, or used to be, a white beagle with black floppy ears wearing a red t-shirt and, this poor Tink Tink has been thru absolute hell, come back, returned to hell, and then retired on her bed. Poor Puppy Love has but one eye, the black yarn which used to distinguish his nose is gone, his once white fluffy fur is now a compressed hue of grey I can’t really describe, his red t-shirt no longer has his name on it, and his large head struggles to stay erect after 47 years. When I look at her favorite toy sitting so lovingly next to her, I hate her for a moment because I don’t have a favorite toy anymore.

My sister and I have always been night and day when it comes to our personalities. I was the typical little girl who loved to play with her baby and Barbie ® dolls and have tea parties with my stuffed animals while my sister was hanging out with her friends doing GOD only knows what. I was so happy when my daughters were old enough to appreciate Barbie® because that meant I would be able to play with them again and this time they came in a wide range of different skin tones. When I was younger, the only choices were blonde-haired, blue-eyed Barbie or her best friend Christie who was very dark skinned with unusually large pale pink lips, horrid makeup, and short, kinky hair.

There wasn’t a doll that looked like me but my daughters were able to have dolls which looked like them in different skin tones, heights and body types, way to go Mattel!

I’m not sure if any of you remember the series “The Bionic Woman” with Lindsey Wagner as Jamie Sommers but I was absolutely in love with that show, she was awesome!

This show was so popular they created a doll in her image and my parents blessed me with this doll and I cherished her. She was so fabulous and had all the features that the actress on the show had: the bionic module buttons under a flap on her forearm, bionic modules in both legs, when you turned her head, there was a clicking sound to indicate her supersonic hearing and she was dressed in her iconic tracksuit! I mean, how fabulous does she sound? I loved playing with my Bionic Woman while also playing with my wide assortment of Barbies ® and, I’m not sure if my sister hated dolls or seeing me get joy from them made it clear every chance she got.

I would usually do my elementary school homework and then head downstairs to our playroom and play with my dolls but this one day was different as Jamie was nowhere to be found.

I was afraid to ask my mother where she was because we weren’t allowed to lose stuff as there was a place for everything and everything was to stay in its place. Asking my mother where my doll was would have resulted in a tongue-lashing lecture and probably punishment for not being more responsible with my toys.  I searched every nook and cranny of our home and still no Bionic Woman and wondered if she had a secret mission and would just come back home when she was done.

After two days and no sign of my favorite doll, I began to worry that I had been irresponsible and Mommy threw her away because she was lying on the floor somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be. I gathered my courage and asked my sister if she had seen her and, much to my surprise, she walked over to her dresser and pulled her out of a drawer! My little mind was swirling with confusion because I always thought my sister hated dolls but the confusion dissipated when she handed me just her torso! My sister had snatched off her head, arms, and legs and destroyed the bionic arm by ripping off the flap and peeling off her mechanical panel!!!

What demon spawn do I share a gene pool with?! To add insult to injury, this little shit was laughing hysterically and said, “How fast can she run now?!” and left me standing there in tears.

While it’s true I had other dolls, none were as special as my Bionic Woman, not even my Rodeo Ken ® doll who had flexible hips which my sister also destroyed by snapping the rubber bands which kept his legs in the ‘sockets’. I don’t know how many times or ways I need to reiterate how much of an asshole I grew up with.

If you still have a toy from your childhood, it’s obvious that it’s special as you’ve held onto it for all of these years. When we begin to grow up, we are encouraged to leave childish things behind as they’ve no place in our adult life and I don’t believe that to be true. There are items from our childhood which soothe our souls as we mature because they take us back to a place when life was simple and uncomplicated. Trust me when I tell you, Puppy Love is the keeper of many of my sister’s deepest secrets and his fur is probably matted from the many tears she shed while holding him thru the years.