My passionate causes

Hey, hey Lovelies! I just got off a video chat with my oldest daughter and she asked why I was wearing makeup since I don’t leave the house. First of all, she didn’t have to come for me like that. Secondly, all I have on is my red lipstick in honor of Wear Red Day to bring attention to heart disease.

I find it amazing that my father’s favorite color was red and now I’m wearing it to honor and bring awareness to heart disease as, I learned later in life, he suffered from it. See, that’s what heroes do, they learn a diagnosis and keep it to themselves as to not worry anyone they love. Do you know how strong you have to be to suffer with pain and discomfort along with fear of it taking you out all by yourself?

When I was 10 years old, I experienced my first loss of a loved one, my Granny who passed from lung cancer. Now, being so young and living in the early 80s, I had no way of doing research to learn more about this disease or how to support because I also didn’t have a job. Yes, cancer touched my life at an early age but all I felt was the loss of my grandmother, the matriarch of our family. The suffering in silence that my father exhibited, he inherited from his mother as she was such a hard worker, she didn’t take the time to go to the doctor until breathing became too uncomfortable and inconvenient but, as you would guess, by then it was too late and she gained her wings 10 short days after being admitted.

I grew up having a soft spot in my heart for various causes which, inevitably, touched my life in some way and I’m not able to nail down just one singular cause. Yes, lung cancer is a front runner for me because I have lost my grandmother and father to this terrible disease. Since losing my father, I have had time to research lung cancer a little bit and found that while smoking is a leading cause of lung cancer at 80 – 90%, only 10 – 15% of smokers will contract it but it still claims 1.2 million lives per year. I have also learned that African Americans are 18% less likely to be diagnosed early, 23% less likely to receive surgical treatment, 9% more likely to not receive any treatment, and 21% less likely to survive five years compared to white Americans. These statistics are staggering and make my brain hurt which is why I’ve tried to be better about going to the gym more often as I lead an otherwise sedentary life. Slow down, when I say more often, I’m lucky if I go 3 times a month and that’s 3 times more than I usually go but I’ve gotta start somewhere!

I am also passionate about heart disease because my father dealt with that disease as well and his blood courses thru my veins which means it may possibly affect me. Unbeknownst to many, heart disease is the leading cause of death for women and is significantly higher in Black women than any other ethnicity. While my father may have had lung cancer, it was cardiac arrest which got him his wings, his heart just couldn’t take it anymore. The scariest part of heart disease is that it’s a silent killer, something you don’t know is there until it’s possibly too late and it’s even scarier for females as the symptoms don’t present themselves the same way in our bodies as they do in men.

Here is a list of symptoms for women: Neck, jaw, shoulder, upper back or upper belly (abdomen) discomfort; General weakness; Changes in skin color, such as grayish skin; Shortness of breath; Pain in one or both arms; Nausea or vomiting; Sweating; Lightheadedness or dizziness; Unusual fatigue; Heartburn (indigestion). If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, please schedule an appointment to get your heart checked out, Queen. Oh, don’t think I’m forgetting about my Kings, y’all go get your tickers checked as well, we need you here for the long haul.

In November 2013, I became passionate about, yet, another cause as my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. Yes, I have told many stories of how big of an asshole she is but that is my sister and I need her here with me more than words can explain. My sister apparently inherited the suffer in silence gene because she went thru her diagnosis, testing, and biopsies 100% alone, never sharing with me or our mother what was going on. I watched my sister endure chemo, lose her hair, and be in pain but, thru all of that, she still looked out for and took care of me and mine.

I felt like the least supportive sister in the world because I really didn’t want to shave my head in solidarity with her but knew I would muster the strength to do it but she insisted I not do it. Instead of me shaving my head, we came to a compromise of me getting her favorite haircut on me which I maintained every 2 weeks until her hair began to grow back. I had already lost my Daddy and begged, pleaded, and fussed at GOD not to take her because I wouldn’t survive the loss of my sister as I barely survived the loss of my father. I am happy to say HE heard my cries and pleas and she has been cancer free for 8.5 years.

As some of you are aware, I’m a self-proclaimed word nerd and do a daily crossword puzzle which brings me to my next causes of passion: Dementia and Alzheimer’s. I’m not sure what year my Grandaddy was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s but I know I stayed away because I couldn’t watch the most brilliant mind I’ve ever experienced turn to mush. My fear was unwarranted because GOD and the Universe had my back as he always called me by name and was lucid whenever I was in his presence. My Nana suffered from Dementia but it was such a slow progression that she was diagnosed and 10 years later, there was barely any semblance of memory loss. I had learned my lesson and mustered up the strength to spend time with her when her mind started to deteriorate but, again, GOD and the Universe looked out for me as she was lucid and calling me by name every single time I was with her. I am blessed to have been able to spend time with them prior to their diagnoses as I spent two weekends a month with them in my early 20s, I just enjoyed being around them so much I couldn’t and wouldn’t stay away. Both of these diseases are harder on those who love them than on those suffering from it because we experience their mental deterioration as they forget our names, birthdays, what day/year it is, and where they are at any given moment.

We all have a cause or few we are passionate and what sparks passion for you may be totally different or identical to what creates my spark. If your passion comes from the loss of a loved one, make sure you’re staying on top of your health by getting regular check-ups because most of our elders refused to go to the doctor because someone before them went to the doctor and never came home again.

There are too many medical advances in this day in age for any of us to perish at an early age. When you make that appointment, take a loved one with you, share this information so you are not alone. There is no need to be a pillar of strength, you’re allowed to lean on someone, trust me, they will appreciate it more than you realize that you thought enough of them to include them. I am speaking from experience here because I wish my father and sister had let me in more but not telling me everything was their way of protecting me.

There are a plethora of causes to be passionate about which need our support in some form or fashion. To support a cause, you don’t have to contribute financially, educating others on the risks and signs of diseases is still support. You can get involved with organizations and take patients to their appointments or deliver meals to those who are no longer able to leave their homes. One of the biggest ways you can support those suffering is to spend time with them as that means more than any dollar amount you could provide. Don’t forget to schedule those appointments and make sure you are a bill of health!