Hey, my Lovelies! Have you ever looked at someone and watched how they live their lives and admire their bravery? I know I have admired others for simply doing something I don’t believe I’d ever have the heart to accomplish but they do it with ease and lack of fear but when mentioned they are brave, they don’t see their actions as bravery, just living the only way they know how. While we may admire others for their bravery, we rarely take into account that the way we live our lives is brave as well.
I rarely view myself or anything I’ve done as brave, I view it as being determined not to be homeless, jobless, or as a disheveled mess of emotions huddled in a corner bawling my eyes out because ‘life is just so hard’, I’m not built like that nor do I have the privilege of doing so because I have two beautiful daughters looking up to me. When you sacrifice your happiness to enable another to grow and experience life, that’s an act of bravery. I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve stayed in situations longer than one would think to be humanly possible just so my daughters don’t suffer mentally, physically, or emotionally, they are my reason and what brings my courage and bravery to the forefront, it’s not been for me. Many fail to understand or acknowledge how the brave parent is the one who sacrifices their wants and needs for those of their children as it takes strength and a deep level of love to be selfless.
Being an overthinker, I grew up affectionately being referred to as chicken little because I was afraid of anything and everything and, while my sister contributed to a lot of my fears, my mind was also a culprit as it would come with multiple scenarios on how something very simple could go wrong which gave me such pause, I was unable to find the courage to follow thru because my brain made a lot of sense when it said, “Don’t do that shit, you know it’s not going to work out“.
I grew up watching my sister live life with no regard for it, she just lived every day to the fullest, doing exactly what she wanted with what seemed to be little regard for any consequences and many times she scared the bejeezus out of me as I’m very calculated with every move I make, talk about polar opposites. I will admit there have been times I envied her eff it attitude because it seemed so freeing but it was never enough to make me step out of my box of comfort to experience it because I’ve watched her way of living come back to bite her in the ass a couple of times but I’ve also watched her appear to be unaffected by the repercussions.
One area I will own being brave is allowing myself to experience and fall in love. Who am I kidding? I didn’t allow squat, cupid’s fat ass got in a lucky shot when I was let my guard down for 2 seconds. What I did permit was allowing myself to give in to the feeling of being with someone who took my breath away just by being in my presence and letting me live in butterfly land while feeling as though I was walking on cloud nine. Allowing yourself to experience love is brave because you can’t control any aspect of it, there will be times your behavior will be viewed as stupid by those on the outside looking in but if it feels right, just, and good to you, that’s all that matters, not other’s opinions of how your relationship should look. Allowing yourself to give in to love 100% is brave because the chance of getting hurt always exist but knowing this and still taking the chance requires more courage than any of us are given credit for.
Becoming an empty nester afforded me the opportunity to sit with myself and do the work it took to heal past wounds and traumas which I feel is brave as too many let that pain stew and control them. When you’ve done this, you’ll understand how brave it is to face and conquer your demons. It takes a lot of courage to review your past and own where you may have been wrong in situations but it takes just as much courage to come to grips with the fact that some things that happened to you were not your fault, you didn’t contribute to the actions of another against you. It takes even more courage to look at yourself in the mirror, make direct eye contact, and forgive yourself. Those who aren’t ready to heal will say it’s easier to just sweep the pain and trauma under their mental rug of shit they don’t want to deal with because they don’t have time as they have other things to do. I have put myself at the top of my list of priorities and made time to deal with and heal my pain because I am worth it.
The word bravery is very subjective as what’s brave to me may be a drop in the bucket to another person. I believe every person walking this earth is brave in some form or fashion as they wake up each day and do what it takes to wake up tomorrow in hopes of having and being better. Finding your voice and speaking your convictions with tact and passion is brave as too many stay silent out of fear of offending the other person all while being offended by the same person who doesn’t take the time or effort to choose their words more carefully. When you fight for what you love and believe in, you are choosing to be brave. There will be times when you don’t feel your best, feel defeated, or just cry but remember, you are still choosing to be here and that’s brave. Bravery comes in all shapes and sizes, it’s not a one size fits all type of covering. Be great and brave, my loves!
