Look at you working life like a boss! Your career is going well, your children aren’t failing out of school or getting locked up (they’re still children, there will always be issues), you have yourself a good group of friends who, for the most part are drama free ~ life is good. BUT you miss the companionship of the opposite sex………………who am I kidding, you miss getting laid every once in a while, who doesn’t? I mean, you could have the best girlfriends, fattest bank account, and your child can be on the dean’s list but momma needs some lovin’ every so often and it’s perfectly normal, we’re only human! 
Maybe you’re recently out of a relationship and just want to heal and have some ‘me’ time so, you have your flings here and there but still feel empty and unsatisfied because you can’t find that one person who does things (and you) the way you like enough to go back and make it a friends with benefits type of situation. You’re both on the same page of not wanting a relationship at this juncture and the sex is the BOMB! But, as time goes on, you start questioning what this has actually become and you didn’t get here by yourself…..
If you’ve ever been in a friends with benefits type of situation, you understand what a sticky wicket it can turn out to be, feelings are bound to get involved because you are being intimate with this person. Most people neglect to recognize the most important word in that term: Friends. You are getting to know this person, you converse and begin to care for them as a friend, not a partner or Boo, just a friend you have some great sex with. Now, if you don’t want to risk any feelings getting involved, simply keep it at F Buddies and I guarantee you won’t have as many issues. See, there are distinct differences between F Buddies (FB) and Friends With Benefits (FWB).
An FB is someone who you’ve had sex with before and you know they gets the job DONE, it’s guaranteed mind blowing sex, you call them only after midnight, you leave as soon as the act is finished, there is no lingering around and chatting, that’s not what you went there for, and definitely no phone calls or texts outside of “You home” or “Wyd”? They serve one purpose and one purpose only, you don’t really even know if you have anything besides sex in common because anything outside of that bedroom in the wee hours of the morning is not your concern. 
Now, an FWB is where it gets complicated because this is someone you hang out with, have similar taste in music and movies, can carry on intelligent conversations with, you’re comfortable with them, and have some good sex together. Here are a couple of things these 2 situations have in common: you don’t get downright nasty and do things such as oral sex, bondage,
threesomes or dates, that’s shit you save for your real BOO; there is never any spending of the night; no expectations of it being anything more than sex; no cuddling after sex; and definitely no discussion of feelings of love. YIKES, the L word with someone whose mother you haven’t even met?
How many times have you had the “I don’t want a relationship” card pulled on you? This is somewhat of a “
” card because they can pull it at any time they want. If something happens and you get upset or jealous, they don’t have to care about your feelings because, remember, you’re not in a relationship. They feel they don’t have to entertain the “Where is this going” conversation because they have reiterated to you that this isn’t and they don’t want a relationship. However, they are acting like your Boo! They are sending mixed signals left and right, leaving you dazed and confused and will actually act offended as to why you thought it was more than it was. 
This person invites you over or asks to see you 5 out of 7 days of the week, cooks for you or lets you cook for them, gives you free reign over their home, lets you meet their children, shares intimate parts of their life and experiences, cuddles you as you sleep, and hits it raw! But will be sure to tell you they aren’t your Boo. Yeah, I know, your head is spinning just as mine is because that’s a very confusing situation to be in. They are showing and acting like your Boo but won’t see you outside of the house or take you on an actual date because that’s what would make it a relationship, right? In today’s society, we’ve settled for being in situationships instead of acknowledging it for what it is ~ a relationship ~ out of fear of scaring this potential mate away.
It’s comical to me and sad at the same time how many people don’t know what it actually means to be single and these are the same people who are crossing the FWB lines and feel they’re single because they say they don’t want a relationship. Being single means just that, you are single, you hang with your friends, can go on dates with multiple people or stay in the house and veg in your jammies all weekend, you don’t have to answer to anyone about your whereabouts or what you’re doing, you sleep alone every single night, essentially, you are your own person and responsible for you.
Just because you don’t label something doesn’t mean it’s not something more than what you claim you don’t want or are ready for. If you aren’t ready for a relationship, be single, don’t entertain anyone else right now, don’t bring anyone else into your drama or world because they will catch feelings of some sort, it’s bound to happen no matter how many times you say “I don’t want a relationship”. If you don’t want a relationship, stop acting like my Boo and let’s just be FB so I can do what I want to do without the guilt of possibly hurting you or getting hurt from seeing you out with someone else.
To treat someone like your Boo but never give the respect of actually letting them be your Boo is why there are so many damaged humans who, in turn, do the same thing to the next person.
If you are not ready, willing or able to take someone on a dates and be an active part of their life, don’t let them spend the night, don’t cook for them or let them cook for you, don’t let them run errands with you, don’t let them supply your habit, and don’t have sex with them without protection because that’s shit that is done in a relationship. You don’t want a girl/boyfriend? Call up that one person who is as interesting as a box of rocks and good for nothing more than blowing your back out and curling your toes, that person who you’d never take home to meet your family because you don’t even really like them, you just like their sex. These 2 terms were created because people thought it would be a simple, non-complicated way of getting the benefits of getting laid without having any strings attached or actually having to work for the sex. 
When did we become so unworthy of getting a date somewhere in between giving you some coochie/dang-a-lang? FB and FWB was supposed to be easy but it’s become more difficult than actually being in a relationship, at least in the relationship you know what the deal is! When you make the mature decision to claim your partner and put a status on what you’re doing, you know that: you’re together; you’re not free to date someone else; you’re free to let your freak flag fly with them and try things you normally wouldn’t; you can and are usually expected to spend the night; you share your whereabouts out of common courtesy and respect; and you are well within your right to ask at any point where this is going.
If you are not ready for a relationship, stick to one time sexual encounters with different people, don’t pick one person and make them your non-committed Boo, you’re worth more than that. FB and FWB situations rarely end well because only one person stuck to their guns about it being about nothing more than sex while the other person may have caught feelings. You can’t just have repeated sex and be intimate with a person and just walk away and start your life with someone else as though that other person never mattered. No matter how much you want to claim you never caught feelings because you knew what it was and never wanted a relationship, you still lose a friend when it ends when you’re not honest with yourself or them. 
Yes, telling someone you don’t want a relationship is showing honesty but to lead them on by acting like their Boo in every sense of the word outside of actually dating them is being dishonest. One of the worst things you can do is to lead someone on and then question and make them feel bad about catching feelings and developing expectations of “where this is headed”.
The main thing most fail to understand and recognize is that it’s not your sexual prowess which made this person fall for you, it was your character and how you treated them.