I love being a woman, I love every single aspect of it, and would never, ever want to be a man. To those who know me, this statement comes as no surprise, I am the girliest girlie girl one may know who is often called prissy and embrace the term and my femininity fully. I love feeling pretty in my dresses with pockets as I strut in my cute stilettos with my hair and nails done while wearing the perfect shade of lipstick. It’s what I do and love! 
Do we go thru a lot of shit being women? Hell yeah! Cramps are no day at the park, we stay faithful using products to keep our skin silky smooth, go thru the pain of removing hair in certain places, battle those last 5 lbs. which seem to be mocking us, and deal with heartbreak or loss with a smile while taking care of business thru it all. BUT we also create, grow and bring life forth into this world, sit with our babies all hours of the day and night to make sure they feel safe and loved, and putting others needs before our own just to see them smile. 
We are also allowed and almost expected to show emotions. That last part is what is so crucial and something I’m truly grateful for. I would have probably imploded decades ago if I was chastised and told to toughen up each time I cried from sadness, joy or pain. Believe me, I was such a crybaby and it got on my mother’s nerves to the highest level of pisstivity. She did everything she could to condition me to hide my tears and emotions and, for the most part, it worked. My payback for being so sensitive and crying over what seemed like nothing to another? A clone who acts just like me.
Let me ‘splain something though, I have grown and learned thru experiences and a bit of therapy that my sensitivity is part of my genetic make-up, it’s not something which was ever meant to be stifled.
I embrace my emotional heart and nature because it enables me to be there for others in an empathetic manner. It took me some time and, yes, more therapy to understand it’s okay to cry in front of others when I am affected by my circumstance and situation.
Once I got a handle on my emotions, I was able to help my daughter understand and deal with hers. For so long, I didn’t cry in front of my children because that is what I grew up with, a mother who the only showed the emotions of anger or happiness, never sadness or pain. While I admire my mother for her strength, my heart hurts for her knowing she bottled so much up and suffered in her pain alone. I never want my children to feel that for me or themselves.
Thru my growth and understanding, my heart began to ache and feel for males because this is how they’ve been conditioned from a very young age. Growing up, I would see a little boy fall, scrape his knee and want so badly to cry but before a tear could drop, you’d hear, “Don’t you dare cry! Man up, boy”! 
This little boy would take a deep breath, suck his tears back, get up, and limp away with a bloody knee which we all know was causing him pain. The nurturer in me would instinctively rush to his aid to make him feel better and I, too, would be chastised. This lesson was also instilled in boys when someone hurt their feelings with their words and those same words were spoken with sternness “Man up, boy!! Don’t you dare cry”! Many times I’ve been told not to feel or empathize for them because men aren’t supposed to cry and I’ve often wondered, “Says who”? Are they not emotional creatures just as women?
Bottling up emotions and never dealing with the pain they carry is what causes us the most damage to human beings. We were created with a plethora of emotions and feelings, we’re supposed to feel the joy, pain, happiness, anger, sadness and love, not ignore it. Ignoring our feelings and pains is what causes us to unintentionally inflict pain on those who care most about and for us. When you’re taught and told not to show emotion, someone like myself might cause utter confusion and conflict in your mind and life because you’d be taken aback by my openness to display how I’m feeling. I’ve come to learn my sensitive nature scares some people because they don’t know how to handle me and are afraid to hurt me so, they just don’t deal with me. Yeah, that seems fair……
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to just burst out in tears like it’s the end of the world because you told me I could only have 3 pieces of bacon when I wanted 4, I’m not that bad. But that is what happens when you aren’t free to express yourself emotionally, you overreact about the simplest things which really don’t warrant all the hoot and hollering you are doing. That is what bottling up emotions will do to a person. I know someone who doesn’t deal with their emotions because they are, essentially, a control freak and love, sadness and pain aren’t anything you can control. When he is sad, he’s irritable and snapping at everyone over the smallest of things like a piece of lint on the carpet. Not dealing with emotions is why people punch walls or yell and scream some of the most vile and hurtful words imaginable at the one who loves them or simply become a recluse and shut everyone out. 
When a relationship ended, they didn’t deal with their feelings about it, they simply just said, “It’s over” and tried to move on with their lives as though their heart had never been touched. That is the beginning of the breaking of the next person to come into their lives because that neglected pain will only turn to anger, insecurity, hostility and bitterness. The scary part is all of those emotions will come out when least expected and damage the one who loves you the most.
My daddy was one of the strongest men I have ever known in my entire life and have been blessed to see such strength in and was the one who nurtured my sensitive side. Even as strong as my father was, there were times when the pain of losing his mother, nephew and best friend were too much and he shed tears. 
Being the empath I am, when I saw my daddy cry, I broke down even harder because I know how much strength it took to go against all of his conditioning and let the tears flow. To me, strength is not just remaining stoic and appearing emotionless during a time of trial, tribulation, loss or pain. Strength is what you get when you endure any of those situations and allow yourself to show and feel emotions in order to heal. The sad reality is that men have been conditioned from a very young age that if they cry due to physical or emotional pain, it means they are weak. They can’t show that weakness due to the belief that no woman would want to be with them because they think they’re a punk. I will say no woman wants a man who cries more than she does, that’s just another reality. But, if you’re sad because you lost your mother/father/sister/brother/loved one? Cry, let it out, feel that emotion, let us know you are hurting so we can do what we do as women and nurture your pain.
We always speak of loving ourselves and how crucial it truly is. When you don’t allow yourself to feel, you’re denying yourself such a precious gift. No one is saying to break down in tears at the drop of a hat because your tears will soon be seen more of an aggravation and you’ll hear muffles of “Oh GAWD, here they go again with the water works. What’s wrong now, is the sky the wrong shade of blue or did their cat lose a whisker? Ugh, I need another drink” and no one will take them seriously. 
All I’m saying to do is allow yourself to miss the person you thought was your best friend who no longer speaks to you or mourn the loss of a loved one or be sad that you lost that job opportunity. It’s okay, I promise, you won’t break, you’ll actually feel yourself coming together as a whole human being. You can do this in the privacy of your own home, no one has to know but they will be able to see the difference in you and your compassion in their time of need.So, grab some wine or spirited beverage of your choice, a box of tissues and heal, Dear Heart, your heart, soul, spirit and mind deserve it.
