When I was growing up, I idolized my mother because she was always very well put together, I don’t think I ever saw my mother look like run over dog shit and just give up on her appearance no matter what was going on in her life. I was raised to always at least get dressed every day, it will make you feel better and, somehow, it kind of does. She instilled in me to always look at least presentable because “you never know who you’re going to see or run into” and that still rings true in my ears to this day. I can recall maybe 2 times when I had spent the day vegging hard in the house and remembered I needed something and ran to the store looking like absolute hell and,
wouldn’t you know, that’s when I saw everyone I had ever known in my life. Well, okay, I’m being a little dramatic but that’s how it felt even if it was just 1 person from high school it was one too many because they didn’t see me at my presentable best.
I know that when we get into relationships, we tend to relax our upkeep to a certain degree, both genders are guilty of it. We are under the notion of “I’ve got them and they love and adore me regardless of what I look like” and that is an unfair statement or outlook to have. Just as we want our partner to at least maintain themselves close to the level they were when we met, they want the same from us.
I’ve seen it all too often, when a woman has been with her Boo for some time, she stops really caring about her appearance as though neither of them are no longer worthy of her taking care of her hair, nails, and hair removal. What did you look like in the beginning and why did you stop? Is the person who chose and committed to you not worthy of seeing you without eye boogers and mouth crust? Aren’t you worthy of combing your hair more than once every couple of days?
When I was married, yes, I was comfortable around my husband, he saw me with my bonnet on, in mismatched jammies, looking like death when I got sick, and get cut open twice to bring forth our children into this world. No matter how ‘comfortable’ I got with him, I still maintained the regular feminine shit of shaving/removing hair from important parts of my body and basic upkeep.
Unbeknownst to most, I don’t grow hair on my arms or legs, friends have called me a hairless mole rat for this very reason but I know that’s just hate on the fact I don’t have to shave or endure stubble on my baby smooth legs; it’s a blessing I am grateful for.
Now, I’m not totally hairless, I still have to maintain my armpits and kitty and do so mainly for myself because having an afro shooting out when I raise my arm in a sundress or having to go up a size in my pannies to accommodate the 70’s porn star bush that’s formed due to neglect is not attractive to me at all. I know there are men who say that they don’t mind hair ‘down there’ but c’mon, what man wants to have to part the overgrown jungle between your legs to show some oral gratification?
Personally, I maintain her more than I did my under arms because, truth be told, I’ve never had a man ask me for some pit. Here’s the thing, when we get with our Boo’s and the relationship goes on for a period of time, we tend to get comfortable and think it’s okay to let ourselves go. Ladies, I am so sorry to be the one to tell you but it’s not okay; just because you have a man doesn’t mean it’s okay to give up on your appearance because you won’t keep his attention very long if that’s your mentality. Yeah, yeah, I know, he’s supposed to love and accept you for you and, yes, he should and does but he doesn’t like having to strategically roll over in the middle of the night out of fear of your toenails gashing a major artery in his leg because your toes look like you could swoop down and grab a salmon from a stream.
I will say that, while I was married, I made sure my nails and toes were always done but that was done partly out of being able to have 2 hours out of the house without young children, that was my time but I’m also a priss about my nails whether they be on my toes or fingers.
When you’ve been with someone for an extended period of time, you gain a sense of comfort to be yourself and there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s natural and lets them know you’re comfortable with and being around them. I believe everyone will understand that you know you’re comfortable with someone when you pass gas/fart around them. Now, guys are different because they, somehow, believe it’s hilarious to express themselves that way, regardless of the smell but women are a lot more discreet and try to be feminine as if we don’t rip ones when they’re alone. Head’s up guys, females fart too and some of them are very rank. Now, I, personally, would never give someone a Dutch Oven and would probably, undoubtedly beat the living hell out of someone for giving me one but I need to be accepted when my tummy hurts and I have the bubble guts.
Yes, I know this is taking what seems to be a disgusting turn but I also know many will be able to relate because a guy knows a female is comfortable around him when she ‘poots’, it’s natural, we all do it at some point. Here’s a little known fact, there are females who hold in their gas when they’re around their Boo because they want to seem dainty or strictly out of fear the smell will totally offend them to the point they don’t want to be with us anymore. This leads to an investment in antacids and random trips to another room to relieve the pressure. If they stay around after one of the salad farts, that’s your Boo for life!
Okay, let’s move on from the disgusting part of the relationship and get back to maintenance. While it’s true that men will look 14 months pregnant while wearing draws that resemble Venetian blinds and think they are the best thing since sliced bread, they will still expect you to maintain the appearance of a super model. They tend to negate the fact you’ve brought forth humans thru pregnancy a couple times and continue to work long hours which doesn’t afford you opportunity to go to the gym to get rid of the baby weight. Yes, it’s totally unrealistic and hypocritical but don’t you want to at least look good for yourself? This really isn’t about him at this point, Beautiful, it’s 100% about you and how comfortable you are in your skin. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s a great feeling to have the man you love adore every inch of your ever increasing physique but are you happy with it? I’ve seen it too many times, the woman gets comfortable because she feels she has him and lets herself go, there are no more pedicures (I have a thing about women’s feet not being taken care of and it’s not even a fetish), more armpit hair
than he has, a kitty with so much hair you can actually use a pick to fluff it out, and you’ve actually ceased the use of lotion! Really?! Would you initiate sex with someone who didn’t do the basics?! I will speak for myself and say, Hell NO, I expect my man to manscape and just take care of himself. So, when your Boo is out and a bad ass bitch who cares about her appearance because her hair, toes and nails are done who has decent conversation for him crosses his path, you don’t think his eyes and dang-a-lang will veer for a moment?
Fellas, the same rings true for us when you’ve given up even trying to look good for us and a brother wearing a suit and smelling good crosses our paths, our minds begin to wander as well. Now, if the man were to follow thru on his thoughts, he’s to blame because he can’t control himself but if a woman does it, he’s still to blame for not taking care of himself enough to keep her attention, double standard much? We blame him because he’s the one who made the commitment to you, right? In reality, he made a commitment to someone who cared about what she looked like even on her down days.
What many fail to understand is how easy it is for someone else to grab the attention of our Boo. This person is filling a void you’ve left by letting yourself go and ‘getting comfortable’. One thing both of my parents always reminded me of was: What you won’t do for your partner, there are many lined up waiting for the opportunity to step in and do for them. When that door opens for the opportunity to cheat, it’s initially about sex because that is the first thing we give up because, duh, we’ve got them now, right? Why should we continue to pull tricks out of the bag to curl their toes, they love us which means we’ve done our job, right?
Again, no. Do you really think that because you curled your partner’s toes once or twice three years ago they’ll be good for eternity because they sleep next to your talon toed ass? Honey, sex won’t keep them any more faithful and loyal to you than your checkbook.
In the beginning of your relationship, you were the biggest freak for your man, pulling all kinds of tricks out of your bag, why did you stop? When you’re with someone for an extended period of time, you’re supposed to only get nastier with them, they didn’t sign up for you to turn into a nun and never be in the mood. Go in your closet or drawers and pull out that sexy outfit and those seductive heels and let your man make it rain on you!
I am not saying you have to ‘beat your face’ every day but at least pick the eye boogers out and clean out the crust from around your mouth if you expect them to give you a kiss at some point. The crust is just the beginning though, go to the store, get some razors and conquer the jungles that live under your arms and between your legs because, just like you’re not a fan of it, no man wants pubic hair going up his nose while trying to please you because, trust me, that bad bitch he met at the grocery store has a standing wax appointment to keep all areas smooth as a baby’s ass.
I will own, admit and proudly wear the crown of being a Ponytail Queen but, trust and believe, it’s never looked like an acorn on top of my head and I still have my edges which are smoothed and if you see me out in public running errands, my tshirt and jeans are clean. I don’t say all of this to suggest you live with a full face of makeup every single day while wearing snug fitting clothes which show off, and sometimes expose, your assets, I’m asking you to look in the mirror and remember who you were before your Boo entered your life.
I’m saying to be happy with who you see staring back at you. I used to be that female who wouldn’t leave the house without perfectly drawn on eyebrows until I met someone who told me I looked better without them and haven’t altered them since unless I have a special event.
When you committed to your Boo, you took them off the market as they did you but it’s crucial to maintain the standard of the ‘market’ so you don’t lose them to someone who is still maintaining themselves. I’m going to give you a harsh reality right now, brace yourself. When you get comfortable and, literally, let yourself go, you are opening the door
for a wandering eyes and attention because your afro pits paired with your 70’s porn star kitty, caterpillar eyebrows, and monkey legs aren’t going to keep your Boo’s attention especially when you’re no longer sexing them like the porn star you did when you first got together. I’m not suggesting you walk around like a beauty queen every day but utilize lotion and the waxing services in your area, show them some attention and let them know you are happy to have them in your life. I have a question for you: If your Boo met you in your current state, would they still be your Boo?
