Today, we celebrate the fathers in our lives, whether they be our biological father, step father, the father of our children or even father figures, we praise, honor and celebrate them for the men they are and influences they have in our lives. Some fathers will be honored by a big breakfast, some by a family cookout, dinner at a restaurant, showered with homemade gifts or cards and ties galore, while others are remembered, missed and honored with flowers and tears on a headstone. Without our fathers, none of us would be here.
There are those who are not as fortunate as others to have their fathers play an active role in their lives while some have only their father as their parental guidance and support. I am a daddy’s girl, thru and thru, my daddy was everything to me. While this man was not perfect, he was still my hero, mentor, confidant, leader, teacher, role model, guide and, his most important role? My daddy. My father was a kind hearted, loving man to his children and when I came of age to begin thinking of a spouse, I knew the qualities I would seek because my daddy had set the bar high and once you’ve been treated as a princess, you can’t lower your standards and settle for anything less.
There is a blaring difference between the terms father and daddy. A father is a male who creates a life but is not active in that child’s life for whatever reason, he doesn’t visit his child, worries more about himself than that child’s wellbeing. A daddy is the man who embraces the blessing GOD bestows upon him when he creates life, he is involved in aspects of that child’s life from the beginning and throughout their life, makes sacrifices to ensure his child has even if that means he has to go without, works in jobs he hates just to provide for his family, instills morals and values to mold that individual into being a respectable woman or gentleman, is there to chase away the Boogie Man when their child is scared yet firm enough to discipline when that child gets out of line. Any male can spend a few moments of ecstasy and fertilize an egg and become a father but it takes a strong, yet gentle, man to earn the title of Daddy.
As of late, I’ve heard females claiming this day for themselves because they have been the parent who does everything for their child and I don’t feel that is appropriate. I know many men who are the primary parent and support for their child but never demand to be appreciated on Mother’s Day because they respect it as such, it’s our day as mothers. Why aren’t men afforded the same respect on their day? No one person’s effort outweighs the efforts of another. Just like there are deadbeat fathers out here, there’s just as many deadbeat mothers but no one focuses on that. Why are we beating our men down because our relationship didn’t work out? There are many men who long to have contact with their children on a regular basis but are unable to due to the bitterness of a scorned woman over a failed relationship. Ladies, your relationship with the father of your children has no true bearing on his relationship with his children, they are 2 separate entities.
Do men who do absolutely nothing for their children exist? “I’ll take ‘Hell Yeah’ for $200, Alex”! But that’s not all men. How do you feel when you hear a man say “all women are hoes” or “all women are gold diggers”? I’m sure it doesn’t sit well because that is not who or how you, as an individual, are. The same respect should be shown to men because not all of them are women beaters, abusers, abandoners, or dogs, there are actually some decent men out here who get the short end of the stick because they ARE good guys. Don’t hold all men accountable for the actions, or lack thereof, of the boys in men’s bodies.
Fathers are the pillars of the family unit and rarely shown the appreciation for all they do. Don’t wait until Father’s Day to show how much everything they do for you means, show them throughout the year their efforts aren’t going unnoticed. When someone is shown appreciation, they work that much harder but they do it with a new fire and drive within their spirit. When a man is appreciated for what he does, he will actually do more. When he is not shown that appreciation, he slowly stops even trying because he feels as though he has failed with his attempts and it’s only aggravated those he loves.
Let’s build our daddies up, Ladies! When we build them up and show our appreciation for all they do, our children will see it as well and have a new respect for their daddy. You don’t have to be in a romantic relationship with the father of your children to respect him. Open the lines of communication so he can have a better relationship with his children, this will also show your children how mature adults should truly behave. It’s time to put on those big girl panties and show the daddies in our lives the praise and appreciation they deserve on a regular basis, not just one day a year.
Coming from someone who is no longer able to physically hug her daddy or hear his voice, take time out of your life and love the daddies in your life because GOD will need them back sooner than you realize. Let go of the bitterness, hurt and anger and enjoy the men in your lives for you, them and your children, you all deserve that healthy relationship