Over the last few days, I’ve celebrated a couple of events in my life: I graduated from a class I’d been taking and my baby officially became a teenager! YAY!! So many exciting changes are taking place in my life as I’m sure they are in yours as well. Having completed the class and obtaining my certificate got me thinking about how I truly committed myself to this course and saw it thru to fruition, never missing a class no matter how tired, feeling blah, or hungover (yes, I went to class hungover once BUT I went, gotta give me credit for that! LOL) I was. I also looked at my daughter and realized how committed I am to being a true parent to her to ensure she is the best possible person she can be. It got me to thinking about commitment in other facets of my life and what it truly means to be committed.
I believe the level of commitment you devote to something is a choice, you tend to be more committed to that which brings you joy and is easier to deal with than a task at hand which is difficult or challenging. At the point it may become challenging, boring or unfulfilling, we sometimes slack off on the degree to which we are willing to commit ourselves to it. Starting something new is always exciting in the beginning but what happens when the novelty of newness wears off? Do you have as much drive and dedication to continue thru with the task at hand or do you commit less and less until you’re no longer doing it? This could range from a diet to a project at work to being a parent to even something as simple as painting a room in your home, none of these are always easy from beginning to end.
We all believe we are committed when we agree to move forward with something at some point in our lives but what does commitment truly mean to you? You may commit to a healthier lifestyle for various reasons, maybe your clothes are a bit more snug than you prefer or your doctor ordered it or you could have lost someone who didn’t take care of themselves. This commitment may seem like the ideal choice for you in the beginning but what happens when you tire of having smoothies for breakfast and lunch, nothing but kale salads with 1 tbs of dressing dinner, and getting up an hour earlier to work out? Do you stay committed to that healthier lifestyle or do you slowly go back to eating fried foods and desserts? When you opt to begin a project, you agree to commit and see it thru to fruition, if you don’t see it thru to the end, why agree to commit from the start?
Commitment, to me, is more about action than words because you can speak all day/every day about how committed you are to something but if there is no action, you’ve wasted breath and time. What is the point in claiming you’re committed to something if you’re miserable and taking every opportunity to hold hostage the ears of anyone who is willing to listen while you moan, groan and complain about how horrible the situation? That’s more along the lines of insanity: repeating the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.
That gloriously exciting, life changing moment when you saw those two pink lines on that pregnancy test and opted to see your pregnancy thru to the day you welcomed that beautiful angel into this world is the day you chose to commit your life to them. Being a parent and raising your child is a commitment you must see thru to the day you die, not when they turn 18 and go to college or the military, move out or even when they become parents themselves. Your child needs you in every stage of their life not just when they can’t do for themselves as babies or toddlers but also when they are struggling with the trials and tribulations of growing up and dealing with what life throws at them. Being committed to your children means being there for them without enabling them to be dependent on you, molding them in to responsible adults, wiping their tears when life gets too hard, and giving them advice on how to handle situations when they come to you. Committing to your child is not about getting lazy and shucking off your parental responsibilities so you can go out drinking often or taking medication which makes you sleep all day instead of spending quality time with them. This is a lifelong commitment, not just when it’s convenient for you, you’ve had enough sleep or only on your good days, being a committed parent is realizing it’s not about you or what you are going thru.
Sometimes we are so committed to living life only in the way we believe it should be, we never take time to see how flawed it truly is or the wonderful things we are missing out on because we are so focused on seeing only what and how we want it to be. This is not a healthy way to commit because you are actually missing out on what’s truly meant for you. Here’s an example: you want your life to be absolutely perfect, I mean, seriously, who doesn’t, right? You want the perfect house, the perfect yard, perfect children, perfect mate, even perfect pet, and perfect job and that’s all you focus on and commit to. This isn’t commitment to anything because you never take the time to be involved in anything, you’re spread way too thin and end up miserable and missing out on what could have been a great life. While you’re focusing on maintaining this façade for everyone to envy, you’re not involved in your children’s lives who are failing in school or you’ve chosen a mate who doesn’t make your heart smile but is safe because you don’t have to worry about the possibility of being hurt or loving them more than they love you or you have a job that’s unfulfilling instead of following your true passion and what makes you happy. Basically, you have committed yourself to living a life of mediocrity and never experience true, genuine joy because your commitment is to obtain your idea of absolute perfection and have said the hell with happiness.
There are times in life when we over commit to one thing to avoid dealing with real issues in other areas of our lives. Sometimes we commit to being that dedicated employee, working ridiculous hours outside of the home and away from our family to avoid dealing with real issues within the home or are a dedicated parent, devoid of a personal life to avoid dealing with romantic relationships out of the fear of possible heart break. This type of commitment isn’t healthy for anyone involved and all areas of your life will suffer because you opt not to deal with any real issues at hand, all while blaming it on your job or children. You can actually over commit yourself to your job and miss out on the special moments of your children, like their first day of school (regardless of the year, it’s still special), their first recital/basketball game/track meet/whatever, their first school dance, or even just a moment when they need you to be there for them because they are struggling with all life is throwing at them. What baffles me is the number of companies which promote a work/life balance and there are even fewer parents in the home.
Being committed to something means showing up and being present and the best you possible even when you’re tired or having a less than perfect day. Just because you go to work every day doesn’t mean you are committed to that job, it means you are committed to having a roof over your head, food on the table and providing for your family. Being committed means being willing to make self-sacrifices for what means most to us, if it means nothing to us, we tend show no true commitment by not sticking it out or giving it our best.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s all about choices, everything in your life, every circumstance and relationship is based on a choice you’ve made, no one else. I don’t know about you but I’ve chosen to commit to being happy in all areas of my life and understand that although there will be tough and sad times, there will also be many happy times filled with joy and love, I’m not willing to sacrifice any of these moments and experiences because they make me who and how I am.
Great blog! You have seen the results from staying committed and you will go far in life!